Please read author notes:
These are emails that I, my sister and our friend wrote between us. They are meant to be humorous and fun.
I had to write it in script form because fanfiction doesn't had colour, as the didn't people talking where identified in colour.
I'm writing what Luke is saying.
Our friend is writing what Mara is saying.
My sister is writing the words that are in between.
Hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I (we) own nothing, but the craziness!
This is your daily talk show
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT"
with your host
Goldie Devilton
GOLDIE: Good evening and welcome to tonight show. We will be discussing four very important issues that everyone has been talking about.
Bandaids are bad for your heath, so why do you eat them.
Mara Jade Skywalker was hit by a train, because she was silly enough to get in its way.
Chicken salads are better eaten through your mouth and not your ears.
And finally…
Ropes are better tied tight and not loose, so your victims don't get away.
So now let's get on with the show!
Our first guest is Mara Jade Skywalker, so please make her feel welcome. (applause)
So Mara, some people think it was stupid to step in front of that train. What's your side of the story?
MARA: I was pushed!
GOLDIE: Uh ha, and why was that?
MARA: My husband wants to kill me because he claims that he is in love with another woman. I'll kill her if I find her!!
GOLDIE: Oh. So how do you feel the public has handled this incident?
MARA: Outraged! Not at the fact that my husband tired to kill me, but at the fact no one had thought of it before!
GOLDIE: Do you wish any where dead?
MARA: Of course, my husband and the idiot train driver who doesn't know what the brake is!
GOLDIE: How extensive was your injuries?
MARA: Extensive, but the doctors say I will be fine. (is basically bald)
GOLDIE: Oh, but you look quite, um, how should we say it, beautiful in a different way.
MARA: Stop your lying, I'm a Jedi I can tell!
GOLDIE: Would you like to say anything before we go?
MARA: Yes! Luke, I want a divorce!
GOLDIE: And there you have it people, an incredibly stupid or heroic woman. We've run out of time so until next time, this is goodbye, see you. (wave)
If you liked it, please review and let me know.
My sister wrote this email to our friend and she filled it in with her comments (Mara), and the following emails started all because of "Luke, I want a divorce"
The divorce case is next if your interested.