A Birthday Colonel
By zeilfanaat
Category: Humor/General
Ratings: K/G
Warning: none
Disclaimer: Stargate: SG-1 is not mine. No infringement intended. Any characters that are not from the series or the movie, are mine.
Spoilers: None that I remember. Presence of Cassandra, in general, I suppose.
Sequel/Series: Homework Secrets, Family Secrets, in the unofficial language-series. Not necessary to read those first, though it would make more sense.
Summary: Janet wonders what to give the Colonel for his birthday, and remembers their language-secrets.
A/N: Yes, the ABC of the title was intentional. Thanks go out towards white rose01 and Astra for beta-reading. Any remaining mistakes are all mine.
On another note, I'm still not sure I'm completely satisfied with this story, but I figured it was time this story found its way off the shelf. Suggestions are welcome.
This story consists of three chapters.
Chapter 1
It was September, and Doctor Janet Fraiser sat at her desk, deep inside Cheyenne Mountain. For once there were no patients in the Infirmary, for which she was very grateful. She knew the peace and quiet could abruptly change into hassle and haste; it happened often enough. And with SG-1 was currently off world, there was all the more reason to enjoy the quiet time. You never knew in what condition they would return.
She didn't know at what time they were due to arrive, but she knew it was sometime today. Thinking about SGC's premier team, she came back to her previous thoughts. What to get the Colonel for his birthday?
It wasn't easy. The Colonel could talk your ears off, but if you listened carefully, you realised he never really said anything about himself. He was a little more open towards a select group of people, and still the Colonel would surprise them from time to time.
Take German for example. She hadn't known the Colonel spoke German until she'd caught him and her daughter speaking it with each other. Apparently Jack O'Neill had been helping Cassie with her German-lessons. No one had known, and even Cassie had only found out by accident. Janet had decided then and there to take German lessons as well. You weren't safe from those two anyway; being unable to understand them didn't help.
He had made her promise not to tell the rest of his team though. She smiled at the memory of speaking German to the Colonel, the day after her first lesson. She'd have loved to have seen his face then, but he'd been on the other end of the phone. They had continued to get back at each other until they had called it a truce. What a truce that was! She still needed to get back at him for his Swedish goodbye.
Suddenly she had an idea. She knew what she wanted to give the Colonel. All she needed to do was figure out whether he had something of a kind.
Yes, she would get back at the Colonel. He wouldn't know what hit him… or actually, he would, the rest of his team wouldn't.
"Hey Uncle Jack!" Cassie yelled as she ran towards Colonel Jack O'Neill, who had just opened his front door.
"Hey Cass." The greying man smiled, and pulled her into a hug once she'd reached him. Her mother came at a much more sedate pace. "Hey Doc."
"Hi Colonel. Thanks for taking Cassie this afternoon. It's been ages since I've seen Nancy."
"Sure thing, Doc. Do you have time enough for a cup of coffee or something else?"
"No, I'll be going right away. I'll be back before dinner."
"You can stay and have dinner here, if you want," Jack offered. Immediately Cassie looked hopefully at her mother.
"Can we? Please?" Cassie pleaded. With a half-hearted sigh Janet conceded. "Sure, if it's not too much of a hassle, Sir?"
"It's not, and it's Jack."
"Yes, S-Jack."
Cassie giggled, and Jack rolled his eyes. "Sometimes I don't know why I still bother," he muttered, but at the same time he smiled at Janet.
"OK, see you in a few hours then."
"Got it. Bye Janet. Have fun," the Colonel said.
"Thank you, Sir. Bye, Cassie."
"Bye Mum!" The two waited for Janet to drive away, and then they went inside.
"Want anything to drink?" Jack asked, walking towards the kitchen.
"Yes please!" The redheaded girl followed her 'uncle', and waited as he opened the fridge.
"OK, let's see what we have. There's cola, orange juice, milk or water. Or you can have tea." Jack looked at the food he still had, while waiting for Cassie to answer.
"Cola," Cassie said decisively.
"One cola coming up," Jack said, deciding they'd have to get some more food. "We'll have to go to the shop and fetch us some food, unless you want to eat fish," he said, knowing Cassie abhorred fish. Her eyes widened at the thought.
"We'll go to the shop!" She said quickly, only then noticing Jack's grin. "Oooh, you're mean!"
"Who, me?" Jack asked, his face taking on an innocent expression. Cassie glared at him, as he handed her her drink. He poured himself a cola as well – no beer when looking after a kid – and opened one of the cupboards, from which he took a bag of crisps.
"So, how's school going?" Jack asked as they walked to his living room.
"Fine. Actually, we're doing this project on Europe, and we got to pick a country to talk about, but I couldn't take Germany 'cause someone else took it, and now I got Italy." She pulled a face, and Jack grinned.
"What's wrong with Italy?" He asked.
"They don't speak German!"
"No, but I suppose near the Swiss and Austrian boarders they might speak a bit of German."
"Huh? They speak German in Switzerland and Austria?"
"Yup. It's slightly different though. In Switzerland for example they speak Swiss German," Jack explained as he opened the bag of crisps and put the bag between them on the couch.
"Really?" Cassie frowned. "Would I understand them?"
Jack grinned. "Maybe not everything, but you'd probably understand the gist."
"OK. Do you have something I could use?" She asked, getting enthusiastic about the project. Jack thought about that, taking a sip of his cola.
"I'm not sure. I could have a look later on. What exactly do you need to find out?"
"Well, its location obviously, and then just things about their culture and what language they speak, and their national… what do you call it, their song?"
"Anthem."
"Yeah! Those kind of things."
"I think I have a book about that. How about this, we'll first go and get ourselves some food, and then when we get back I'll see what I can find, ok?"
"Ok!" Cassie said happily, finishing the last of her cola. "I'm good to go."
Jack shook his head at her eagerness, but smiled as he too finished his drink. "OK, let's go."
While Jack picked up his keys, Cassie quickly grabbed a handful of the crisps, before running after her 'uncle'.
"Don't forget your coat," Jack said, as she sped past him through the door.
"Aw, do I have to? It's not that cold!" Cassie pleaded. At Jack's stern look, she resigned, and took her coat from Jack who held it out to her. Soon they were on their way to the grocery shop a few blocks away. They had decided to walk there instead of taking the car.
"Uncle Jack?" Cassie asked, slipping her hand into his.
"Yeah?" He asked, looking both ways before crossing the street.
"How come you know so much about Germany?"
"I've been there a couple of times." 'Or should I say, a long time?'
"On vacation?" Cassie asked.
"No. For work." Jack looked at the girl that so often felt like a daughter. But he'd thrown away the privilege of being a father when he'd left a drawer unlocked.
"Ok," Cassie said, sensing she shouldn't ask further. But she couldn't completely quench her curiosity. "Is that where you learnt German?"
Jack shook his head inwardly and smiled. "Yes, that's where I learnt German."
"Ok," she said, before asking, "Have you been in Italy?"
'Not officially,' Jack thought, but instead he answered, "I can tell you a bit about it, but I think you'll find more in books and on the internet." He just hoped she wouldn't ask if he spoke Italian.
"What are we going to eat?" Cassie asked suddenly, and Jack was glad for the change of subject.
"Let's see what looks good, and then we'll decide," Jack offered. "Anything in particular you'd like?"
"Pizza!"
"Shh, we'll do that again when we're just with the two of us, ok?" Jack gave her a conspiring wink, which made Cassie giggle.
They bought some food, and returned home again. Once there, they put the food in the fridge, and got themselves another drink. After all, the bag of crisps was still lying there. They finished watching a movie they had started another time and had forgotten about for a while, before Jack decided he'd go and have a try locating the book he had in mind.
"I'll be right back," Jack said to Cassie. "Can you put the videotape away?"
Cassie looked up at him with a frown. "Where are you going?"
"Just fetching something. Don't worry, I'm not leaving the house."
"OK."
Jack left, and Cassie put the videotape back in its case and into the drawer where Jack kept his videotapes. Suddenly a thought occurred to her. 'What if Uncle Jack's trying to find that book?' She walked through the hallway towards Jack's bedroom. He wasn't there, so she went on to his study. She knew where it was located, and she'd been there once when Uncle Jack had shown her a German dictionary website. But she'd never really taken a good look around, so she wasn't sure if there were any books there.
When she arrived, she peered around the corner. She could only see part of Jack's shoulder and back, so she quietly pushed the door open further. The grey-haired man stood with his back towards the door, in front of a built-in closet. Cassie tried to look past him, but all she saw were accountancy books. She knew how those looked… her mother had them too, and they were boring!
However, Jack had pulled some of those boring books aside, and Cassie was surprised to find out there were more books behind those accountancy folders.
Jack pulled out a book, looked at the cover, and replaced it. He was about to pull out another, when he heard the wooden floor squeak, and turned around. 'Shoot, hadn't thought she'd try to find me this soon.'
"So that's where you keep your books," Cassie said, walking into the room, figuring that now that she was spotted, she might as well try and find out as much as possible.
"Yeah. Now you know, and you'll keep it to yourself," Jack said, sighing inwardly. Yet another secret of his that Cassie was privy to. Well, not secret exactly. He had never said that he didn't have any books. He just didn't show them, nor mention them. OK, so it was a bit of secret. He turned back and pulled out the book he wanted, wiping off the dust as he turned around.
"Here it is. I'm sure you'll find this one enjoyable if not useful."
"What is it?" She asked curiously. Instead of answering, Jack handed her the book. Cassie's face lit up.
"Rom und Vatikan – die ganze Stadt in Farben. It's a book about Italy in German! Wow! Can I borrow it? Please?!" (1)
Cassie looked up at him pleadingly.
"No. I searched for it so I could just show you the front cover," Jack teased. Cassie stuck her tongue out at the man in front of her, at which he grinned. "Yes of course you can."
"Thanks! How did you get it?" She asked, starting to flip through the pages, while Jack put his accountancy books back where they should be. Soon she had some other questions, her initial question forgotten.
"Onkel Jack, was sind 'Farben'?" (Uncle Jack, what does 'Farben' mean?) Jack put the last book back, and answered, "Man hat viele Farben. Rot, Blau, Orange, Weiß, und so weiter." (There are a lot of 'Farben'. Red, blue, orange, white, and so on.)
"Oh, colours!"
"Ja." (Yes.)
"Aber, dann verstehe ich diesen Titel nicht." (But, then I don't understand this title.)
"Lass mich mal sehen," (Let me see,) Jack said, coming to stand behind Cassie. "Ah, das bedeutet dass sie die Stadt beschreiben, auf eine Weise dass du dir besser vorstellen kannst, wie sie aussieht." (Ah, it means they will describe the city in a way you'll be able to imagine what it looks like.)
"Oh, OK, Danke." (Oh, ok, thanks.)
"Ich werde mich um das Essen kümmern. Du kannst einige Notizen machen, wenn du willst. Aber du kannst mir natürlich auch helfen," (I'm going to start on dinner. You can make some notes, if you want. Or you can help me with dinner of course,) Jack said with a grin. Cassie looked at him and said: "Ein Kompromiss: ich werde in der Küche lesen und Notizen machen, und du kochst." (A compromise: I'll read it in the kitchen and make notes, while you're cooking.)
At this Jack pulled a face, but pulled out a drawer and handed Cassie a note block and a pen. "OK, lass uns gehen," (Ok, let's go,) he said, and went to the door. Cassie followed reluctantly, having just remembered she had to do something. But she couldn't do it now anymore, 'cause then uncle Jack would become suspicious. They went to the kitchen, where Jack went to the fridge, and Cassie sat down at the table in the corner.
Cassie started reading as Jack started preparing for dinner. She hadn't meant to, but she was soon engrossed in the book, asking Jack questions about the German or about Italy. After a while she remembered what she'd forgotten earlier on, and looked to see what Jack was doing at that point. He had just turned his back to her to turn the potatoes, so she snuck away, towards Jack's study. Pulling the chair to the closet, she opened it, stood on the chair and carefully pulled out some of the accountancy books, so she could look at the books behind them. Then she replaced the accountancy books, and took the next few, repeating the process.
After a while she felt like she was being watched, and turned around. Though half expecting it, she still startled when she saw Jack leaning against the door post, looking at her with one quirked eyebrow. A guilty expression rose to her face, though she tried to stop it. 'Oops. Busted.'
"Hi," she said, wondering what she should say.
"Hi," Jack looked at his charge, silently amused by her expression, though he managed to hide it. "What are you doing?"
"Ehm I…" Cassie stumbled over her words. "I was just looking if you had more books that… could help me with my project."
"Don't you think I would have given it to you had there been more useful books?"
Suddenly Cassie had an idea. "Ok, ok, I was curious about the rest of your books." At Jack's slightly disbelieving look, she continued. "Well, it's not like anyone ever sees more books around here than… well, those three or four about barbequing fish and classical music. And I've always been sure you had more, so when I discovered you had them in the closet I got curious, that's all."
"And why were you so sure I had more books than just those three or four about barbequing and classical music?" Jack asked sceptically.
"Well, you pulled out at least two from behind those folders," Cassie accused.
"I'll give you that, but you didn't kno…" Jack started, but Cassie wasn't finished yet. She still stood on the chair, looking at her uncle standing in the door opening.
"You admitted that you might have a book about Italy lying around, which means you have at least a couple of books. And you had to think about it, and when you only have a couple of books you know exactly what you have. Besides, I know you're smarter than you let everyone believe, so it should be obvious."
"I'll give you credit for the first two points," Jack admitted, as he walked towards Cassie, and helped her down, "but you can't tell anyone else about it, ok?"
"Why not?" Cassie asked, looking at Jack while he put away the books and closed the closet.
"Why do you think I don't show them anyway?"
"Because you want them to think you're dumb?"
"No!" At Cassie's imploring gaze, which only a child could pull off, Jack grudgingly admitted, "Not dumb exactly, just… not as smart." Cassie frowned; she didn't understand why he did it, but he probably had a good reason, though why he kept it a secret even for his team, she didn't know. And why his team hadn't figured it out yet, she really didn't understand. She knew it, for crying out loud!
"Fine. I won't tell."
"Thank you. Besides," Jack continued, "most of those books I never need. That's why they're standing behind the things I do occasionally need."
"Aren't you supposed to be in the kitchen?" Cassie suddenly asked, afraid she'd have to eat charred food. "I'm not eating it if it looks like Sam made it!" She warned.
"Don't worry," Jack said with a smile. "I put it on a low fire. Though I think the potatoes need stirring."
With that they left the room and went to the kitchen. "Cass, could you set the table please?"
"Sure." It happened occasionally that Cassie stayed for dinner, sometimes with her mother, so she knew where to find the table cloth and the utensils. Jack was just putting the finishing touches to the salad, when the door bell rang.
"I'll go!" Cassie shouted, rushing towards the door, peeking through the window first to make sure it was her mother. Jack O'Neill had taught her to wait with opening the door till he was there if it was someone she didn't know. Cassie still thought he was exaggerating, but he'd been so serious about it, she would do it for him.
It was Janet, so Cassie threw open the door. "Hey Mum!" She said excited.
"Hey Cassie, how was your afternoon with the Colonel?"
"It was great! We watched a movie, and you remember that project for school I have to do? Uncle Jack has a book about Italy but it's in German! And I can borrow it! Isn't that cool!" Janet had closed the door behind her and put her coat away, while listening to her daughter.
"Wow. Do you understand it?"
"Not everything, but I haven't read everything either," Cassie defended herself.
"Hey Doc," Jack said as he walked out of the kitchen with the salad and potatoes.
"Hello Sir," Janet replied. "Can I help you with anything?"
"No, I've got it. Take a seat and practice on saying 'Jack'," Jack said with a pointed look, before disappearing once again to the kitchen. Soon he was back with the plates, a fillet steak on each. Next he put three glasses on the table and brought a carafe of water. He filled one glass and placed it in front of Janet, who nodded. "Thanks." Then he filled another, and was about to put in front of Cassie when she interrupted.
"Can I have another cola? Please?!" She begged, looking at the Air Force Colonel pleadingly.
"Sorry Cass, but you know the rules. Your mother said, no more than two Cokes a day, and I'm going to follow doctor's orders."
Janet snorted. 'That would be a first.' Jack threw her a warning look, but she just smiled back at him sweetly.
"Mum?" Cassie looked at her hopefully. "Can I?"
"No, honey. We've talked about this. When we're home you can have lemonade, but now we'll stick with water, ok?"
"Fine," Cassie grumbled. Janet threw Jack a look which was both apologising and showing her exasperation. They had indeed been over this before, a couple of times, both with and without Jack present, and still Cassie kept trying. Jack shrugged. 'Hormones.'
Soon they were all settled. Cassie was quick to cheer up, and chattered on about what she had read in the book, about how she didn't like the substitute teacher for P.E. and so on, while they ate.
"So, how was your day with your friend?" Jack asked the doctor, once Cassie seemed to have run out of steam for a minute.
"Oh, it was great! Nancy and I have just been chatting for ages! It has been four years since I saw her, so we had a lot of catching up to do. She went to live in Spain for a few years, because of her husband's job." Jack listened to the woman opposite him as she talked enthusiastically about her friend.
This was another side of Janet Fraiser. At work she was 'Doc', friendly yet always the professional. Outside of work, she'd let go of the professional-doctor persona, and just be Janet Fraiser, mother of an alien orphan whom she loved more than anything. Jack enjoyed seeing this side of her, loved the fact they could just be themselves, without having to maintain the strictness of rank. Sure, the military would always be a part of them, both of them, but he was glad they could let go of it partly outside of work. And he enjoyed getting to know more about her. After all, it wasn't like Jack often came to the infirmary for a social call. But she was a good friend.
"I'm sorry Si- Jack, I won't bore you further with this," Janet stopped mid-sentence, realising she was talking about someone neither Jack nor Cassie knew.
"No, no, you're not boring us. It sounds like a really good friend. Where did you meet?"
Janet sent him a smile. He really sounded genuinely interested. So she told them how she had met Nancy at a wedding. In the meanwhile they cleared the table; Jack made coffee, Janet did the washing up, and Cassie dried, with Jack in turn putting the stuff back in the cupboards. After that they went to the living room and had coffee, or in Cassie's case tea.
Finally, Janet stood up. "Well, it's been a wonderful evening. The food was really nice."
Jack shrugged, looking down at his empty coffee cup. "I manage. Thanks anyway."
Janet shook her head almost imperceptibly, but motioned for Cassie to stand up as well. "OK, let's go. Come on Cassie." Cassie looked up from the book, and went to get their coats.
"Thanks Jack, for today."
"Sure thing, Janet. Anytime." Janet smiled at his use of her name, and knew he meant the 'anytime'. Now it was time to listen to Cassie and see what she'd found out.
TBC
(1) I actually have a German book about Rome, hence why I thought of it. It's called: "Rom und Vatikan – die ganze Stadt in Farben" – Plurigraf
Translation: "Rome and Vatican – the whole city in colour" – Plurigraf