A/N: This story is what you get when you take two rabid D/Hr lovers, AP European History tests, toast, randomosity, and a pep talk about writing clichéd Harry Potter stories.

WARNING: contains S.P.E.W., Blaise as a lawyer, Hermione as… uh… Hermione, and Draco embracing his inner blonde.

Disclaimer: As for this and all other chapters following this one, the likelihood of me owning these characters is as likely as Draco Malfoy making out with Snape and enjoying it… (bad… visual….) What I can guarantee though, is that the plotline… is strictly ours.

Prologue: A Look into the Confidential Section in the Department of Mysteries

Yoshi09: Okay guys, to be honest, I shouldn't be sharing this information at ALL with ANYBODY. But I'm concerned that we should all have the right to KNOW. The conspiracy was rumored to have taken place during 1998, when the uprisings of House Elf revolts were as their worst, and I'm sure the Auror who gave me this information and requested to remain anonymous throughout the interview -(cough)not Mad-Eye Moody, that's for sure(cough)- would not have done so if he did not believe that it should not be known. We're not quite sure HOW he got out of the Department of Mysteries alive, or how he is today, but what we do know is, is that whatever is read is to remain within the confinements of No copies of this story is to ever be made unless we (yoshi09 and Moonlightshadows) are told beforehand… we must keep this very secretive, yes?

Moonlightshadows: (Makes a muffled noise behind her mouth gag)

Yoshi09: Excuse her, she still believes showing or telling anyone this story is wrong. I had to make her quiet. Now let's move onto what we've scavenged and the story which is completely and utterly true…I assure you.

--- TOP SECRET: CONFIDENTIAL ---

Obsession with Gnomes because House Elves got their freedom via "The Bleech Convoy of 1999" and now Hermione C. Granger runs The International S.P.E.W. Foundation and closely regulated their ancestors and found out that Gnomes, direct cousins of House Elves, are slaved away in the Australian Black Market.

Draco Malfoy, the CEO of the Black Market is suing Hermione Granger for sneaking and tricking Gnome slaves into accepting freedom via toast (the one thing that automatically grants Gnomes their freedom) against their will, and not only took away Draco Malfoy's House Elves, but now is concerned with his Gnome slaves who are "more than willing to be working for him." Unable to fully convince the judge of the ludicrousness of the crime, he then files a lawsuit against Hermione Granger for breaking and entering.

Draco Malfoy, concerned with the overthrowing of the Black Martket and after being humiliated by the Supreme Court with the judge vetoing his lawsuits three times, decides that a compromise needs to be created between the Black Market and The International S.P.E.W. Foundation to negotiable terms that would (if all goes well) result into ally with their number one enemy.

A/N: For those who don't know what the term "Altruism" is (and are too lazy to look it up), it simply means- "unselfish concern for the welfare of others." A.K.A. Hermione.