Summary: Ciel attempts to understand his relationship with Sebastian, his demon butler.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji, or Black Butler. Nor do I have rights to Ciel and Sebastian.
Author's Note: This story contains mild spoilers in regards to Ciel's past and references episode 3 of the animated series. I hope you enjoy it!
"We must prefer real hell to an imaginary paradise." –Simone Well
As a child, Ciel Phantomhive did not require the companionship of an imaginary friend. He was blessed with a loving and attentive family that rarely gave him the opportunity to feel lonely. He was welcome to sleep with his parents on nights he was frightened of the thunder raging outside their mansion, he was given a pet dog to entertain him in the event they were both too busy to attend to him, and he was surrounded by servants who catered to his every whim. To design such a being was unnecessary. Useless.
And when this was all destroyed, by a force unknown to the little earl, he still refused to invent the mechanism that would drive his pain away. Even though he watched as his dear sanctuary was enveloped in flames and his cherished family burned with it, he convinced himself there was something left that would provide him with the nurturing that could help him grow.
Their imaginary friend was omnipotent. And in order for it to care for them, it asked that he be taken as payment. At first, they had reminded him of his parents, seeming kind and trustworthy. Ciel, like the rest of those who had been imprisoned, was given a false dream; promised an eternity of paradise if he obeyed their will. He naively surrendered himself to that dream, only to find out it was a lie.
The boy was without clothing, and he felt soiled and humiliated. He realized in this moment that it was the first time he was truly alone; his mother and father would not rescue him, and he could not call on God, for that imaginary friend was not his friend in the least bit.
He screamed, not out of desperation or fear, but out of anger and resentment. They did not deserve to take his life and those monsters did not deserve to take his family's. Somehow he had to carry on and bring vengeance to those who had been so evil.
"My, my, such a young master…"
It was a demon who appeared before him, a magnificent and terrifying creature. It offered him a future that once was out of grasp and the revenge he longed for. To him the cost for its services was of no value.
"Enough! This is my order: kill them!"
He almost laughed. Their imaginary friend did not protect them. The horror they experienced prior to their death, their cries of agony; all of it was beautiful. What hope existed in fantasy creation? In the world there was only a game of survival to be played and because of their weakness they had lost.
Sebastian, he resolved, would be its name. It would be a testament to his loyal dog. As the new head of the Funtom company and manager of the Queen's underground dealings, he needed a faithful servant. A butler.
"Humans are quite predictable. They always must have someone to latch onto, no matter what kind of power they possess."
Ciel silenced the demon's laughter with a command. He knew that in chess, there was only one way to triumph and as the king, he would never be troubled over the loss of pawns. In the end, they were just means of achieving his intended goal. Sebastian was ranked above most as a knight, but that was all he was.
"I am the king, the single piece that determines the outcome of the game. If I fall, it is over. I have failed. Therefore, I look out for myself and that is it."
Two years pass and the Phantomhive boy is reputed as a formidable nobleman. He has acquired three (incompetent) workers and his estate is restored. His business is highly successful. And his butler is absolutely perfect. He is well on his way to an uninterrupted victory.
But there are moments where Ciel forgets his own agenda. On a night like this, he is wrapped up entirely in his own misery. He examines the sparkling silver band around his thumb, the sapphire gem that marks certain misfortune to those who come into contact with it, and he wonders why he was so distraught at the idea of losing it. Even if the ring was gone, it would not have any bearing on his position as the head of the Phantomhive family. And most importantly, it would not remove the curse placed on him. Sebastian had salvaged the heirloom for him, a gesture that was mockingly kind.
And now he wants it broken. He is reflecting; allowing himself to explore his heart, subconsciously becoming weaker. This piece of jewelry serves as a symbol of his gruesome fate. As long as it exists, he is forced to accept this contemptible destiny as a reality.
And as he tells this to his butler, he is faced only with an apathetic expression. He questions how he could expect anything different.
"Stay by my side until I fall asleep," Ciel orders, the words betraying the authoritative tone in his voice.
The demon's lips curl into a fiendish smile. "My, my, are you showing me your weak side?"
He refuses to admit this. "It's just a simple order," the young master is too exhausted to fight. He closes his eyes, trying to ignore the overwhelming feeling of solitude that exists despite the butler's presence in his room. Sebastian is just a tool, he reassures himself as he begins to drift off.
"This is our contract: you will be my sword, my power, and you will keep me from death until I have succeeded in getting retribution for my family."
His knight. A mere game piece.
"Your name will be Sebastian. You will be my butler. You will devote yourself to me and will not abandon me, regardless of the circumstances."
His servant. Beneath him.
And just before slumber claims him, the young earl managing to persuade himself that this is indeed true, that he is still in control, he hears a vow made that is anything but insincere.
"I will be by your side, no matter where that might be, until the end."
As a child, Ciel Phantomhive did not require the companionship of an imaginary friend, but he is grown up now.
Fin.
Thank you to those of you who read this! I have long wanted to write a story for Kuroshitsuji and this concept of an "imaginary friend" seemed to fit Ciel perfectly. I appreciate reviews and of course any constructive criticism you may have. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!
Oh, and for those who don't understand the significance of the ring or what happened to it, in episode 3 of the anime (and a specific chapter early in the manga) Lizzy, Ciel's fiance, breaks the ring out of a temper tantrum, and Ciel then decides to rid himself of it by throwing it out the window. Sebastian later, right before Ciel goes to bed, presents it to him, completely restored, and thus we enter the scene in my story. This ring is of great importance because every head of the Phantomhive family wore it, including Ciel's father.