"Mr. Brain-Man, you disappoint me."

With her, this child in a woman's body, it's hard to keep my professional face on as she shocks me at every turn and then at the end of the day dances circles around this poor man-child.

(the whole man-child business is all thanks to Booth)

"And why is that, River?"

At the start of our sessions together, those feet already dancing around me from the very start , when I first saw her and knew that she was above me in every single way.

(her having a computer for a brain didn't help my self-confidence very much)

"I was hoping you would taste like lollipops, or at least have candy growing from weird places, Mr. Sweets, but alas you are not really that sweet."

The first day she had a handful of warm gummy bears, and a few guys numbers who didn't know her true self yet (and Booth was one of them), and ever since she found out my last name she had begun to hope I would break open and spill out massive amounts of sweets.

(someday one of my patients would pull me open but lollipops won't be the things spilling out)

"You've been saying that to me since the first day you came here, River, so I brought you a lollipop."

Before she had come around lips lined with sweetness, getting her addiction from the willing hands of gullible men (meaning Booth), I'd never thought of the candy she loves so much.

(and my teeth over the years have thanked me, now hers are screaming)

But now there is a stash of all kinds of good things beneath my desk, and only now then do I dare dip in, with her name on each piece.

"And why, my sugar-coated doctor, have you done such a thing?"

"It's a sweet for a sweet young girl."

Cheeks blushing the same color of the candy in my palm as I'm breaking oh-so many rules, I was breaking them with just my thoughts, and not giving a damn.

"Golly, doc, you really live that name down, don't you? Now hand it over."

"Hows that girl of yours, Sweets, still coco for cocopuffs?"

When she was taken in off the streets, words spilling out that solved case after case (each secret earning her another bit of sugar), she told tales of her home that can't possibly be the truth but strangely I believe every single word.

(we will be headed to the nut house hand in hand pretty soon)

"Stop it, Booth, just because she believes she is from another time filled with space ships and man-eating creatures doesn't make her all that crazy. And look who's talking, see any talking cartoon babies lately?"

"Whoa there, kiddo, I'd rather not start something, you must really like this nutcase."

"So very much, but let's make one thing one thing clear, she's my nutcase."

"That's okay with me, doc, just tell her to stop taking all my goddamn candy or the guns will be coming out."

"Would you care for more candy, River?"

Rather then quickly swiping the treasures held in hands, someday she'll make me just as addicted as she is (we'll both need good dentists), she closed her own hand on mine and kissed me with those sugar lips of hers.

(those 'rules' of mine never once coming into my head)

"I think your all the sweets I need, Lance."