A/N: Hey guys, hope you enjoy the story, it's a first attempt so go easy on me and don't forget to review, tell me what I need to work on and such and such, I'm also writing another part to this that has KF's views, but that's only if I have time…ok, have fun!
Addicted Reciprocality
It's annoying, I just don't know what it is. A compelling need, no, a compulsive need? Yeah, that was it, but the way it's worded, it just doesn't fit, I just can't get the right word. What is it?
Kid Flash, every time I think of him, it's just like a drug; I feel instant euphoria, and when I see him, my heart just drops. I despise the feeling; I try to banish it, all the time, every time. After all, villains are never made for heroes, they're made against them. I try to hide all these feelings and it burdens me that I have to walk around with a secret identity and I'm not talking about being Jinx either. Besides, bad guys are bad 24/7, hence the title "bad guys." So the only secret identity I have is of myself, my true self, and I just can't let it out.
Every time the Hive Five plot or commit any crime, I don't seem to be getting the same high as I did before. I get more of a rush just looking at Kid Flash, but imagine it when he's in person. His presence is intoxicating, with his voice as it reaches my head in thick tones. Nothing really goes through, my mind is always too caught up in itself, and yet, I always manage to keep a cool array.
I'm always baffled by his appearance; the intervals of our meetings always feel longer than what they really are. The meetings themselves feel like time just stops. It's moments like these that I try my hardest to exile the thoughts running through my head.
A numerous amount of questions begin to form in my cranium; speeding and weaving through each of my cells until my head is nauseatingly full of……him. Had he thought of me? Missed me? Or even dreamed of me like I did him?
These are the kind of questions I try to diminish; after all, what good is a villain with emotions or feelings, or a conscience? They're absolutely worthless to a girl like me. Though I hate to admit, I really wish that Kid Flash would just, take me away
It may sound a little weird, but I'm forced to act different when I'm with the Hive Five, we're all like family, but I'm always self-conscious when I'm around them. I'm always under constant pressure, not to say the wrong things, not to do anything wrong, not to be a horrible villain, not to be a hero, not to fall in love, not to fall in love with a hero, not to fall in love with Kid Flash.
I always act as if I don't need Kid Flash. I try to trick my brain into thinking that, that maybe if I acted like I didn't want him, maybe I would convince myself to believe it. But I do need him, and I'm tired of pretending, so very tired. I always achieve brief happiness when he's around, that even when I'm pretending, I can still be happy with his presence, but when it's gone, it's just plain agonizing.
I need to stop seeing him altogether, all he's done is cause me pain, yet he still consumes my heart. My mind curses my heart's power over it, and I too curse it. I spend my days thinking of times when I've seen Kid Flash or talked to him. All the time spent between each meeting is used to dwell on the next meeting, when I will see him again, what will be happening.
I just can't get off him, I always tell myself to stop seeing him, but then find myself strolling around, hoping he would find me, and he always does. I need to fix this but I just can't take it. Just one more time, I'll see him just one more time, then I'll quit for good.
So just what is this? A compelling need, no, a compulsive need? No, that isn't it, the way it's worded, it just doesn't fit. How about addicted? Yeah, that's it, that's what it is.