I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything else mentioned here.
This tiny fanfic is written in a Commercial style.
Mokuba - "Ahhhwww, Seto, I don't feel so good."
Seto Kaiba - "Well, maybe if you stopped eating Chocolate Phaphet, you wouldn't be so constipated."
Tea Gardner: (Comes out of nowhere, holding a Microphone / Infomercial music plays) - "I know! What about if you take "Big-fives"?
Mokuba - "'Big-fives'? What's that?"
Joey Wheeler - "Big-fives are a new kind of Rectal Suppositories! They are selling like Hot Cakes!"
Tea Gardner - "Eeeewwww! Joey! Did you have to say 'Hot Cakes' and 'Rectal Suppositories' in the same sentence?"
Joey Wheeler - "Well, Sooooorrry! I didn't know yoose was so sensitive! Women these days" said Joey Looking at Camera.
Tea Gardner - "I heard that!"
Seto Kaiba - "What are you geeks doing in my Office?!"
Duke Devlin: (Holding a camera) - "Shut up, Kaiba. Your're ruining the commercial!"
Tea Gardner - "Anyways, How about you take some 'Big-Fives'"?
Mokuba - "Ok."
Joey Wheeler - "Here ya go!"
(Joey grabs Gansley (Big 1) and puts him in Mokuba's hand)
Mokuba - "Hey! This is one of the jerks that tried to trap my brother in the Virtual world!"
Joey Wheeler - "Yeah. We've Shrunken The Big 5 and Gozoboro to the size of Suppositories so you can use them for yoose constipation problem."
Mokuba - "Good! Now I can eat them for trying to trap my brother!"
(Mokuba imitates Godzilla, grabs Gansley and opens his mouth; Gansley screams like a girl)
Tea Gardner - "No! You don't eat them, you...Joey, you tell him."
(Joey Whispers in Mokuba's ear)
Mokuba - "Eeeewwww!! Gross! But they do deserve it! Gimme that bottle!"
(Mokuba takes bottle, dumps The Big 5 and Gozoboro into his hand and runs to the bathroom)
The Big 5 and Gozoboro scream like little girls - "Ahhhhhhh!!"
Yugi Moto - "And, well, there you have it! Feeling Constitipated? Take 'Big-fives'!"
Joey Wheeler - "You'll launch a 'biggy' right out of your-"
Tea Gardner - "Joey!"
Joey Wheeler - "What? I was gonna say 'butt'."
Tea Gardner - "'Big-fives'! Available at a Walgreens, CVS, or a Pharmacy Store near you."
Yugi Moto - "Please ask your Physician if 'Big-fives' is right for you."
Joey Wheeler - "May cause Drowsiness, Headache, and Virtual World Nightmares involving Corporate-Family Issues."
(Needle Scratches, The gang looks at Joey)
Joey Wheeler - "What?" (Joey giggles)
Tristan Taylor - "And we're out!" (Shuts off Camera)
Seto Kaiba: (Voice-over) "Well, that was stupid. I can't believe I just sat there watching the whole thing."
Tristan Taylor - "Hopefully, Mrs. Gomez, our Drama Teacher, will grade this commercial an A+."
Tea Gardner - "I wanted to do a 'Stacie Orrico' Dancing Commercial, but you guys were too stubborn."
Joey Wheeler - "Nobody wants to dance some lame moves."
(Tea enlarges anime style; Joey and Tristan shrink in fear with a water drop on the back of their head)
Tea Gardner - "DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!!"
(Mokuba comes out of Bathroom smiling)
Mokuba - "Ahhh! What a relief!"