A/N: This is an AU-story dealing with Henry's and Elizabeth's relationship after she quit the CIA.
Lost. That's all Elizabeth could feel right now. She lay in bed starring at the white wall not knowing what to do with herself. It's been four days since she quit the CIA and five days since her argument with Henry. Turning over, she looked at Henry's side of the bed, which was as empty as always. He had left for work hours ago, but even if he was here, his side of the bed would feel empty. Elizabeth's mind wandered off again, to when it all started. Henry gave her an ultimatum and she decided she had to save her marriage but if being honest to herself, she knew that they were far from having a happy marriage. They didn't talk to each other and avoided each other as much as possible with Henry staying at work as long as possible and Elizabeth always quickly running out of the door to "run errands" as soon as he came home. Elizabeth couldn't remember the last time they had laughed together or were intimate. The only thing they still managed together was taking care of the kids. But as soon as they were taking care of, they went back to living separate lives in the same house. Well, at least Henry still had a live while Elizabeth didn't know what to do with herself. She felt lost without her job and missed her friends terribly. Admittedly, she never really had a social life outside of the company and now, that it was taking from her, she felt lost. Elizabeth felt like all the energy she always used to have so much of was taken from her. She only got up in the morning to bring the kids to school and the kindergarten, but as soon as she came back home, she went straight back to bed. Elizabeth knew she needed help, but couldn't imagine anyone asking for it. Her husband used to be that person, but her only confidant had turned against her. Elizabeth turned to look at her watch noticing that Henry would be home with the kids soon. "Damn", she thought to herself. She was supposed to look for a job today, but she simply didn't feel up for it. There was no job in the world that could give her the satisfaction that she felt when working for the CIA. Hearing the front door open, she sighed in misery. Her family was home early and she was still wearing her PJ's. The bedroom door opened and Henry entered the room filling it with a tension they used to live with by now.
"Elizabeth, what the hell are you doing? Why are you still in bed?" Henry said sourly, being tired after a long day at work and disappointed to see that his wife didn't even bother to leave the bed all day. Elizabeth closed her eyes upon hearing Henry's angry voice trying to avoid fighting with him. Instead of answering him, she stayed silent waiting for him to go away. She knew it was unfair to him to not give him an explanation, but lately the thought of her husband filled her with a madness she couldn't even explain to herself. He made her feel miserable and for some reason she couldn't stop that feeling. Henry realized he wouldn't get an answer from his wife, so he just threw his jacket on the bed and left the room, banging the door loudly on his way out. Elizabeth knew she had to get up at least to greet her kids and help them with their homework. Getting up slowly, she pulled on a pair of jeans and a clean shirt before walking into the kitchen.
"Hi kids. How are you doing?" She put on her happy face and acted as everything was fine. Due to her CIA activity, she knew how to hide behind a facade and nowadays, Elizabeth was more than glad to do so. She didn't want to disappoint her children and make them worry about her. After giving each of them a hug, she helped them with homework while Henry was preparing dinner. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched his wife interacting with their children and couldn't help but wonder what was going on with her. He knew that she was only putting on a show for the kids and he wished she would do the same for him. Henry wasn't stupid, he knew that she was suffering from leaving the CIA and mad at him for putting her in that position. As always these past few days, he wondered if he had made a mistake by giving her an ultimatum. It seemed to have damaged their relationship more than to save it. Henry thought that his wife would get back to normal after a couple of days, but it's been almost a week and they couldn't possibly be any worse than now. He missed his wife, his soulmate and best friend who would share every thought with him. But nowadays, he had to deal with an estranged Elizabeth who had shut him out completely. Lost in thought, he stirred the pasta while silently watching his wife fooling around with their children as if everything was fine.
Elizabeth knew that Henry was watching her, but she just ignored him as she always did. She knew she was being unfair to him but she couldn't deal with that right now. During dinner, they managed to have a slightly normal conversation with the kids, but every time Henry tried to talk to her directly in any way, she turned to her kids instead of focusing on him. After dinner, the kids went into their respected rooms, leaving Elizabeth and Henry in the kitchen. Elizabeth quickly started to wash the dishes trying to ignore the uncomfortable silence between them. Henry sighed audibly and took a towel to dry the dishes. Not bearing to stand the silence one more second, Henry decided he had to at least try to start a conversation.
"So are we ever gonna talk again?" He asked quietly and in fear of her reaction.
"We were just talking at dinner." Elizabeth stated as a matter of fact.
"That's not what I mean." Henry replied and turned to the cabinet to pour himself a drink. "Are you ever going to forgive me?" He finally managed to bring out, not knowing if he was really ready to hear her answer.
"Don't be silly. There's nothing to forgive." Elizabeth said a little too quickly and they both knew she was lying.
"Elizabeth, come on. I know you're mad at me but ..." Henry couldn't even finish his sentence before she finally snapped.
"Okay, yes I'm mad at you! I reject you for putting me in a place like this!" Elizabeth shouted at him. "You took my job that I loved away from me. I know it was still my decision, but giving me an ultimatum... I mean, what kind of husband would do that to his wife? You basically threatened to leave me and take the kids away from me!" Elizabeth cried out, her voice getting louder with each voice.
"Elizabeth..." Henry tried to calm her.
"No, you shut up now! You want to know what's going on? I'll tell you what's going on. I did quit the CIA because I was afraid you would take my family away from me. You threatened me and I don't know if I can ever forgive you for doing that! You took away my second home and I'll never forget that. You betrayed me. I'm nothing without my job and you know that. So yes, I'm mad at you. Right now, I might even hate you. Every day I wake up not knowing if I made the right decision. I miss going to work and serving my country and I don't know if the kids or you will be able to replace that hole in my heart. It's like you took away my air to breathe." Elizabeth said angrily not caring about the way she had hurt her husband's feeling.
"Well, I'm sorry me and the kids are not worth living for." Henry spit out, clearly hurt by her words and immediately left the kitchen to retreat to their bedroom.
Elizabeth stood at the sink trying to process what had just happened. She finally told Henry how she felt and he didn't even try to understand. She knew that some things she said were unfair, but overall they reflected her state of mind. Feeling more disappointed than ever, she decided she had to leave the house that felt more like a prison than home at the moment. Gathering the car keys and gathering her things quickly, Elizabeth slammed the door behind her and made her way to Isabel, the only person who would understand her right now.
Henry heard Elizabeth leaving the house and wanted to kick himself. Of course he understood why Elizabeth was mad at him, but the words she threw at him did hurt him immensely. He only did what was best for them as a family and she just couldn't see it. Overall, he was more than disappointed that the kids and their marriage weren't enough for her be willing to be happy. Hell, he didn't even know if she loved him anymore. Realizing that this might be their breaking point, he didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't know how to fix any of this. Thinking about their situation, he couldn't stop but wonder about one thing:"Where did we go wrong, Elizabeth?"