Chapter 1

I'm still alive. Why was it you and not me? I lie here in my bed still hoping to roll over and see you asleep or wake up to feel your arms wrapped around my body. Now all I feel is empty on the inside and I know that I am alone. Running my hand over the spot where you once laid and smiled at me. The way it used to feel to just cuddle up against you and feel safe in your arms. I could have stayed there forever if fate would have let me.

My name is Elizabeth Lillian Posey. I wouldn't say that I am a normal girl. I was always the one that had tons of friends but was never popular. I was still labeled as the "Emo" even though I got along with everyone. I am 5 foot 5 and I'm a thick girl. Gosh, I hate seeing those poles and they think they look good. Makes me so sick!

Thanks to my mom, I have Double D's and a little bit of a booty. You might think its weird but I love wearing my skin tight jeans and the lovely band tee's. One problem I did have was finding a guy, just that one guy that could stay there with me and for once not hurt me. I know right, a dream that would never happen, but hey you can always dream right?

I live in this little town called Chelsea in the middle of no where Kentucky. Yes, Kentucky. I would have given anything to get out of this hell hole. Well, before I met him. Just thinking about him now gives me chill bumps.

Not sure if they are good or bad. The first day of my Junior year, I found the perfect outfit, ripped up Tripp skirt and a Slipknot band tee. To add a little color I had some of the cutest jewelry with a skull bow to go in my hair. I walk into my small school and getting all these hugs and "I missed you's". Keeping my confidence up, I walked to my locker smiling. I got this warm feeling down my spine and felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Hello, can you help me find my way to Mr. Rogers room? Ha, sorry to bother you, you just seemed like the type of person I should be asking around here." I turn to look and what I seen was the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen in my whole entire life. Long black hair that came to his shoulders and half over his left eye. Beautiful piercing baby blue eyes that I could have swam in like a clear blue ocean. His face looked like he should be a model. I look down to see his clothes. He had a band tee on just like me with these skin tight jeans that made him have a nice figure.

I stood there speechless and not knowing what to say to him. "Um I'm sorry I asked. I'll ask someone else", he said as he turned away from me. "No!", I exclaimed, "I'm sorry, just my first day and a little out of it. Um yeah I will help you get to his classroom" Gosh he probably thinks I am a total dork. Stupid Eliza, quit gawking at him! "Well, It's my first day and I really do not know where to go. I'm sorry if I bothered you", he said with a smile.

I stared at him and said, "No it's totally fine. I'm sorry for not answering you. I feel horrible."

He smiled again and said, "No I am sorry for scaring you and just randomly talking to you. Oh I'm Ryan by the way, Ryan Kingsley. What's your name?" I smiled at him for a couple of seconds, dazed.

"Um, do you not have a name?", he asked. "Oh! Sorry, my name is Elizabeth but you can call me Eliza if you like." He stared into my eyes for a couple of seconds. "Beautiful."

"Excuse me?" I asked confused. "Oh nothing, uh your name, its beautiful." I stared at him for the longest time, not knowing what to say. "So Eliza, can you escort me to Mr. Rogers class?" As he looked at me and smiled, I could tell there was going to be more to me and him. I just never knew it would have to end the way it really did. I took him down that hall smiling and thinking to myself that my life was getting better just by this day. I wish I could go back in time and change the things that led to life or death.