Baldrick was not only the dogsbody by profession, but he was one by human physicality. He was a smallish short of man, filled with warts, zits, and various bodily fluids oozing out of each pore. He knew he was nothing glorious to look at, but he felt other talents or virtues would even that out. Unfortunately he had none. He was as smart as a potato, and his morals never followed any code, just Blackadder.
Baldrick followed Blackadder as if he was a shadow, and that may have been an improvement for him. If there were anything that defined Baldrick's life it was Blackadder. For one human being to be defined by another may be troubling to the average person, but fear not, neither was much of a human being to begin with.
Baldrick would travel through galaxies, across time for Blackadder. His devotion, whether misguided or not, was true. So was it that surprising that he had longed to be nearer to his master?
The truth must be told, Baldrick was just as any other man, he thoroughly enjoyed the company of women, and usually the thought of a man in his bed disgusted him. Usually. Blackadder was a different matter all together, and somehow, in some way, Baldrick found himself wishing that he could admire ALL that was his master.
Baldrick found himself one night in front of the stove in the kitchen and very unable to control himself. He took out his cock and started to stroke it in front of the warm embers that were still burning red in the stove.
"Ohhh Blackadder," he moaned as he was getting close to ejaculating.
"What do you want you over grown flea?" Blackadder said as he entered the room.
Baldrick quickly covered himself and did what came natural, but a rotten piece of cabbage on his head topped with a moldy tomato. He looked to his master for approval.
"A vast improvement. Now listen closely, I have a cunning plan."