Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own the universe of Harry Potter. Anything that you recognise belongs to JKR.
Rating: K+
Word Count: 2,705
Summary: Seamus Finnegan explains why he understands Draco Malfoy's side of the story, even if he doesn't know his reason behind his actions. Seamus can't help but stick up for the Slytherin because he knew Draco had pretty damn good reason to continue to follow his father's petty charades. Seamus just wishes Draco knew that Seamus felt the same way.
Warning/s:
Ships: None but if you must have some idea - Cannon pairings. THIS IS NOT A SLASH STORY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT.
Beta: None, all mistakes are mine. I try to edit it multiple times but I am more or less sure about whether there are any mistakes or not.
A/N: This is a re-write, if it's not hard to tell. This is a one-shot. Enjoy. xo
Understanding Each Other
"What are you going to do, Malfoy," sneered a fellow Gryffindor. A cold shiver ran up Seamus Finnegan's spin. He looked up, blinking. He barely registered the Hufflepuffs and the Ravenclaws that were surrounding the Slytherin. Seamus' eyes bore into the Gryffindor's back. That's the one that had caught his attention. He'd seen him around once or twice but never a third time.
Until now.
There had to be at least ten people surrounding Draco Malfoy, to say the least. Their wands were raised, pointing directly at Malfoy. Seamus wouldn't put it past them to hex the poor boy. Sure, Malfoy had done a lot during his life, especially to Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. Malfoy hated to take shit from then and he was always – at least usually – quick to reply with witty comments and then he'd throw a hex or two.
He should be on his way by now but he's not and that's what frightens Seamus.
Seamus doubted that anybody knew that at one certain point in time, Malfoy had switched sides. He'd betrayed the Dark Side, to turn to the Light, to save innocent lives instead of killing them. Shouldn't that make up for it?
Bile rose up in Seamus' throat as he remembered overhearing Harry say that Malfoy's mission in their Sixth Year was to kill Headmaster Dumbledore. However, Malfoy was merely present for the Professor's death, even if his mission was to do the killing, he'd never done it. Apparently he'd chickened out at the last minute and Professor Snape had completed the task.
Which was a good thing that he'd chickened out because then Malfoy wasn't sentenced to Azkaban. Harry had stepped in at the last minute and confessed about what had happened that night in the tower. It had been all planned, even if Malfoy was unaware. They were well aware that Malfoy would chicken out at the last minute.
That had been Dumbledore's plan all along, though. He was well aware that Malfoy was unable to actually kill somebody so he'd asked Snape, in private of course, to step in. Snape did as he was told. Dumbledore believed it would throw He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named off the trail. Unsuccessful as it may have been, Malfoy still didn't deserve everything people were dishing out to him. It had been this way since Malfoy had decided to 'show his face', as people called it.
Malfoy had come back for his Seventh Year, just like everybody else. Even if he'd been here longer than many others. He had been at Hogwarts before the Battle had begun. He'd done a lot more schooling than the rest and at that time, he'd ruled the school and now, he's the School's punching bag.
Sure, he'd done a lot of things that were to be frowned upon but even Seamus knew that underneath that sneer and all that coldness he was just a lonely person. He was lost. It was bluntly obvious that he had a reason for everything he'd done but whatever the reason was, he thought best not to share. Seamus knew it wasn't because his father had been sentenced to Azkaban for the rest of his life.
Oh no.
If Seamus looked carefully, into Malfoy's grey eyes, watched the way he walked and talked – having his father in Azkaban was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Malfoy obviously disliked his father, any fool could tell it but that wasn't the reason some would believe way. Seamus didn't know the family personally but if he did, he was sure their secrets would be revealed.
Seamus watched Malfoy take all of the hurtful words and the kicks and punches, like it he deserved it. Malfoy looked almost like he thought that this is what life had become and he wasn't about to question it now.
Frowning, Seamus remembered one of the last conversations he'd had with the lad. Seamus remembers when Malfoy had told him enough for him to suspect that when his parents had called him over, he was more than likely ready to cry. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to join the Dark Side and fight this petty battle with them. Malfoy wanted to stay put and never leave.
Seamus could almost tell.
…
Seamus looked up when he heard the door to the Girls' Lavatory open. He whipped his wand out and aimed it at the culprit, expecting it to be another Death Eater. It was but not one that meant any harm, that is. Draco Malfoy stood there, frozen. His skin was paler than Seamus had ever seen and Malfoy's eyes were hollow and dead-like.
His grey eyes looked defeated and tired. Malfoy looked as if somebody had come and ripped out his heart and soul. All his feelings were replaced with this defeated, dead look. The image could never be forgotten truly. It would be forever etched into Seamus' mind. It was almost like Malfoy was trying to tell Seamus something, through his eyes or something.
Hoping for Seamus to pick up on what he'd missed. It was important and Malfoy wanted somebody to see it. It defined him as a person and just maybe before he dies, he wants somebody to know why he'd done it. He wanted somebody to know why he had surrendered and done as he was told; like he was meant to.
Draco Malfoy's eyes slowly connected with Seamus Finnegan's. Seamus sucked in a breath when he noticed that his eyes weren't all dead, they were trying, failing but trying nevertheless, to mask his emotions. Once last time, Malfoy wanted to try to hide his feelings, just for hold time sake. He was using every ounce of his willpower to hide it.
Perhaps Malfoy was simply afraid to let Seamus in. It wasn't like Seamus was asking to be let in, of course. Malfoy didn't want to appear weak, especially not in the middle of a Battle.
Wars like these, maybe appearing 'weak' is just what one needs to give them the courage to call out, ask for some help for Merlin's sake.
Even people like Draco Malfoy need help.
"Malfoy," started Seamus, licking his dry lips. It wasn't like he was expecting Malfoy to listen to him but he was going to try anyway. That's just who he was. He tried even when he didn't receive results or when he'd tried a spell that hadn't gone according to plan. Seamus preserved even when being ignored.
Grey eyes met brown.
Seamus couldn't help but swallow because in that moment, Draco's eyes changed. An emotion flashed through his eyes and he wasn't quick enough to hide it. He was too defeated to bother trying, to be frank. That feeling, that one last look, was unforgettable.
At least to Seamus it was unforgettable because he'd never seen Draco like this before. Nobody had ever had the honour to see it flash through his grey eyes. Draco was afraid and it was too late to pretend he was unfazed. He was scared about what was about to come out of Seamus' lips.
Seamus ran a hand through his blonde hair, sighing before he swallowed.
He realised that in that moment, everybody has a story and everybody had a reason for their actions. Nobody was exempted from that. Not even gits like Draco because they have a reason to act the way they do. Sometimes it's just simply clear that they didn't want to be this way or act this way but it was only what was expected from them. It was sad, really.
It takes a lot of courage to break free from the bondage that held Draco in place. It took a lot of nerve to just say no for once.
One look and everything had made sense to Seamus. It was so very clear; this boy never asked to be this way. He never asked for this. He just wanted somebody to look closer, look beyond the façade he'd been keeping in place all these years. He wanted somebody to recognise the walls he'd built to keep himself emotionally stable, he wanted somebody to be willing to climb them or even knock on the door that may be there.
He wanted somebody to look further, try to discover the truth behind it all. He wanted somebody to acknowledge the fact that he'd been a very good actor for the past seven years. He wanted somebody to really want to find out what made Draco Malfoy who he was today.
It's all too apparent in his eyes that he wouldn't even wish his worst enemy to go through what he had, to say all the things he had witnessed.
Malfoy sighed, walking forward, towards Seamus. He opened his mouth to speak but at first, nothing came out until he tried a second time, "Whatever you are going to say, please, just hold it off," he whispered, earning a nod from Seamus.
The boy had a heart somewhere underneath everything and he certainly had manners as well. He was just like anybody else, he just grew up a whole lot different to the rest of the world. He grew up learning different values and principles.
Nobody bothered to even give him a chance.
No wonder he was unforgiving and untrusting.
"Nothing bad, I assure you," commented Seamus. "I just wanted to tell you that whatever your reasons are, I hope they're genuine. I hope they're good. You will never get over this and I pray to whoever is listening; that whatever your reasons for your choice are – whatever they may be – it is pure," whispered Seamus and Draco nodded.
Seamus knew there was a reason behind his choice but he wouldn't push him to found out.
It wasn't his place.
...
From that moment on Malfoy become 'Draco' to Seamus, even if he was probably still 'Finnegan' to him anyway. Draco was simply just lost and Seamus could understand that. Once upon a time, Seamus had been just as lost as him.
Doing only what is expected of you.
Never questioning what you're told.
Being seen but never heard.
It's better that way, right? At least nobody could blame you for the outcome of the actions you were forced to do or for the words that you were pretty much forced into saying, as well.
Seamus couldn't really care if he was stomping over towards them and causing a ruckus.
"You are no better than a Death Eater if you continue this," he said with a sense of venom. All of the tormenters looked over towards the Gryffindor Boy. They seemed to be thinking about Seamus just said. Maybe for once, they'll use their brains.
"What do you mean?"
Never mind, they need it to be spelled out for them.
"Leave 'im alone," glared Seamus. "Re-think this, please, it's wrong," he added with a sigh. His eyes began narrowing in on them as he realised they couldn't get away with this.
Not anymore they can't.
"Are we any better if we condemn those who condemned us," Seamus asked, angrily. Nobody dared to comment, nobody really had an answer for that. Maybe they really couldn't use their own brains and Seamus thought they were all just pathetic. He was judging the Sorting Hat for placing two of them into Ravenclaw. Then again, they had been bottling their hatred up for far too long and it was always going to explode.
It was almost like a time bomb. It was always ticking, silently, waiting to explode.
"Sod off," he yelled, feeling angrier by the minute. Seamus didn't want to see their faces anymore. He wanted them to get out of his face because if they stayed there any longer, he might just kill them all. One by one, they all decided to leave but the Gryffindor felt brave and decided to stand his ground with a feral grin on his face.
'Foolish,' thought Seamus, glaring daggers at the stupid boy. "That was rather brave but foolish of you," he spoke but he merely received a shrug in return. "Why are you defending him," the blonde asked. Seamus narrowed his eyes before taking a small step back. "We have more in common than one would initially think," he replied, casually. He left the conversation like that, there was no room for an additional comment or a question.
Seamus waved Malfoy over as he began to walk away. He expected Draco Malfoy to simply follow him and that, he did.
Silence stretched on as Draco neared Seamus. Words didn't need to be said just yet because they weren't sure what to say exactly. Thoughts swam around inside their heads for a few more minutes until Draco reached out and took a slight hold on Seamus' arm, stopping the boy. "Thanks, y'know for that."
"You are welcome."
Draco fidgeted nervously as they began to walk again. "What did you mean back there? When you said that we had 'more in common than one would believe'?" Draco couldn't help but ask the one question that kept coming up. Seamus merely bypassed the question and changed the subject completely.
"Tell me why you joined the death eaters and why you took that mission to kill Dumbledore," he stated, leaving no room for argument but Draco didn't think it was truly fair. He locked his jaw and gritted his teeth, "That isn't fair, y'know." Seamus sighed, "I won't be helping you again unless you tell me the truth," he answered. "I know you hate your father," he added, as an afterthought.
"Of course I do," Draco suddenly shouted in fury. People began to look at them once more but none of them paid attention to the crowd they were attracting. "It was never about him or what he wanted," Draco said, angrily as he kicked a stone. Seamus merely raised an eyebrow at him and Draco sighed.
He swallowed, nervously, fidgeting with the ends of his shirt before he spoke up. His voice cracked and he sounded so broken. Seamus had never seen Draco Malfoy quite like this before.
"He made it clear if I did what He asked of me or He would kill my mother."
The thing was, Seamus understood. They both loved their mother more than life itself and no matter what their fathers did to them, they would continue to go along with their charades. It didn't matter what was asked of them, something more important was on the line than their own life. No matter the whispers or the insults they may hear as they walk by as long as she was alive and breathing, did anything else really matter?
'If it saves her, I'd do anything.'