A/N: OK, I got a Naruto Fic out there for all you Naruto lovers( you know I couldn't forget about y'all!!)
I'm not sure how the updates will come in though because I'm working on two fics at the same time.
OK, ahead of time warnings:
Loads of cussing: And I mean loads of it.
Naruto and Sasuke are not gay: It might seem like it, but there not.
I do not own Naruto... So there I said it, creators of Naruto, don't sue me. You'd probably get more money looking through your trash than taking from my bank account.
Sasuke is a smart mouth: Hey, sasuke is not very nice. Very short and sweet to the point.
Don't worry, whether you're a Naruto fan or a Sasuke fan, you're gonna love it. Just pick who you wanna feel for. But um, no one cares about sakura so, don't expect to see her too much. More characters are going to show their face, ya just gotta wait.
If you feel offended by anything you read, for instance... If I call Naruto a dumb ass, then just stop reading the Fic!
Loosen up sasuke!
It was the second semester at Konoha University. Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura were studying up because test were next week. Sasuke however, was the type of student that took studying to a whole new level- A whole new level like taking his text books with him everywhere!
Sasuke was always ruining Naruto and Sakura's fun. It was either because Sasuke wanted to stay in his dorm and study, or he wanted to stay in the library and study. Either way, The guy was just studying way to hard.
They never met a person with straight A's down the list, perfect attendance, and spent every waking moment in his text books. He barely talked to anyone besides Naruto, and Sakura, and the only reason he talked to them, was because he didn't have a choice. They were SO damn annoying, always bothering him every time he was trying to work.
It was either, Sasuke let's go eat pizza, or Sasuke let's go to the game. ' Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, god damn stop calling my name you morons!' He almost constantly thought.
Sasuke just wanted to keep his head inside of his books and never return to the real world, unless it was to get a new book, or take the exams. He had already laid out his life plans. To graduate, become the smartest person in the world, dominate the world, and, and...well, that was pretty much about it.
" Sasuke, I know you don't like going out but-" Naruto started in an unsure voice.
" No, no, no and no." Sasuke answered quickly, prepared for any stupid questions Naruto might ask.
" Oh Sasuke, we're just going to the carnival, I know you want to go." Naruto tried to convince him.
Sasuke quivered. " How can you live with yourself knowing that you are failing."
" Huh?" Naruto asked stupidly, " What, you mean my grades?."
" Yes, your horrible, unworthy grades. It makes my eyes burn when I see your F's." Sasuke cringed.
" Wow Sasuke," Naruto started in an uninterested voice," My grades aren't that bad."
" They are!" Sasuke nodded. " You need to put your head in some books."
Naruto rolled his eyes. " Why so I can be like you?... No thanks..."
" You'll get much power... maybe even rule the world." Sasuke said sheepishly.
" How do you get power from books?" Naruto laughed.
" You never heard? he who holds the books, holds the power. I have books, I have power, So I make good grades."
" Um, no I never heard of that... I might remember it one day... maybe even use it...ha ha..me with books!" Naruto laughed.
Sasuke sighed. " Some fools never learn." He said while walking away.
" Hey Sasuke where you going?!" Naruto said trying to catch up with him.
" To study," He replied. " Don't bother coming, cause I know all you'll do is make paper airplanes and eat Twinkies the whole time."
Sasuke paused and thought to himself. " Oh yea, and ask me really stupid questions."
Naruto lowered his head. " Gee, that's harsh Sasuke."
" Yea well, life is harsh... That's why you need your books and graduation." Sasuke said while entering the library door. " I'll call you at five."
That was all Naruto heard before the library door slammed in his face. He would have went inside, but he was so afraid of to many books at once. He might actually...you know, learn something if he went in.
Later on, Naruto ended up back at the dorm waiting on Sasuke. It's was 4:59 pm. Sasuke was a very timely person, so if he said he'd call at five, he was going to call exactly at five.
Naruto's big blue eyes closely watched the second hand as it jerked itself to 5:00.
His pants began to buzz. He knew it was Sasuke.
" Hey Sasuke what's up."
" Hi Naruto. Listen, I have to stay at the library late today.
" Huh, aw Sasuke, you promised you'd come spend time with me!!" Naruto whined.
" What, I never promised you anything, I just said I would call you at five... that was it."
Naruto sat silently on the phone. " Well fine Sasuke... I could see if you were out chasing honeys, but books?"
Naruto heard the sharp click of Sasuke hanging up on the other end.
" Damn it Sasuke... you bookworm.
Naruto had got an idea he was sure to work. He called Sasuke back.
" Hello, Naruto you know I can't use my cellphone in the library."
" Sasuke! They're having an all out Text book sale at the library, Their closing in like an hour!!"
" Huh, where did you hear that?"
" I didn't even know it was around. I just went to the library and they were selling."
" You went to the library?" Sasuke said with disbelief.
" Yes, and at the school library they were having the biggest sale of them all!"
" OK, I'll be there in like 10 minutes."
Then Sasuke hung up the phone. Naruto was practically jumping with joy. Sasuke was coming back to the school...Yes!
Sasuke left the library and went back to the school. He quickly rushed through the door and up the stairs heading to the school library. As he passed the hallway the led to the Cafe, he saw Naruto, Sakura, and..a creepy looking freak..
"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted. " Over here!"
As Sasuke got closer and closer to Naruto, his feelings of glee faded sharply. As it always did.
" Name is ukiachi, but you can call me ukiachi." Ukiachi smiled.
Sasuke's jaw almost dropped. " ...um..OK...Where are the books?"
Naruto scratched the back of his head. " Oh, well, about those books... I was lying. I just wanted you to stop jam packing your face in those books every single day, 12 hours a day."
Sasuke looked at Naruto, then lowered his eyebrows. " I'm going back to my dorm," He said in a why did I even waste my time voice.
" Sasuke!" Naruto shouted playfully, " Don't be such a jerk, just this once please, she's a new student!" He said with a huge grin.
Sasuke just looked at him. ' He brought me all the way down here to meet a feather brained girl.' He thought.
Then he sighed. "... I guess I should give in to your smile..." He said pitting Naruto. " But I'm not... So I'm going to say no, and refrain from beating you with a 10 pound dictionary."
" C'mon Sasuke." Naruto Whined.
" Where do you expect to get with your excessive whining?" Sasuke questioned. " Certainly you didn't think I would care, now did you? C'mon Naruto."
Naruto's face frowned. He had had it with Sasuke always being a stiff ass. He was pretty sure Sasuke just thought he was the shit, and everyone else was just... well, pretty much, shit!
" You know what, fine then, go to your dorm and go be a stiff ass." Naruto yelled, putting emphasis on stiff ass.
Sasuke's eyes widened from the remark. " I don't have time for this. Naruto, you are dumb and immature."
Naruto fanned outwards with his hands, summoning Sasuke to go. " Whatever, Sauske. Go to your dorm and read your textbooks," He said in a bored tone, " And I hope that while you're studying for hours it will start hurting. That might encourage you to stop sitting on it all the time."
Sasuke lifted an eyebrow. " Sitting on what?"
" Your stiff ass!" Naruto yelled. " Jeez, how many times do I have to say it?!"
Sukara and Ukiachi tried to hold back their laughing. Well, maybe Ukiachi didn't try, but Sukara did.
" I don't know," Sasuke said very annoyed." But I'd wish you stop saying that shit!"
" Why get mad at what you are, you're stiff, you're lifeless." Naruto paused to see Sasuke's reaction. Clearly not good, but Naruto still continued rambling. " Basically you getting mad at me calling you a stiff ass, is like getting mad at me for calling you Sasuke!"
Sasuke walked away to his dorm without shooting a reply back to Naruto.
" You can't be mad at what you are..you stiff ass!" Naruto shouted as Sasuke started to disappear.
In the dorm..
Sasuke plopped himself down on his bed and sighed. He couldn't believe Naruto was trying to change on him. " That idiot, that dumb ass, that retard, that stupid, stupid... ugh!!" Sasuke yelled, trying to find the word to describe Naruto.
He couldn't. He was too mad, and too busy thinking about all of the name calling. How dare Naruto go so far as to call him a 'stiff ass'. He couldn't be to mad at Naruto though, because at least a stiff ass was all Naruto called him. If Naruto had said you're a stiff ass bitch, or, you're a stiff ass retard, then he would have easily punched him in the face.
He didn't know what Naruto did, but for some reason he didn't study at all when he got back to the dorm. He just slept.
" Get up Sasuke." A very annoying voice snapped at him.
Sasuke put his hand over his head. " Don't tell me you're still mad about yesterday."
" Nope," Naruto said loudly, " That's why I'm taking you out, and you're not refusing."
" Nope," Sasuke said. He went to his closet and opened it. What he didn't see, made his jaw fall off( A/N: Practically anyway.).
" Yep." Naruto said, looking in the closet with him. " No studying until you going out for breakfast with me... deal?"
" Where the hell are my books Naruto?!" Sasuke said with extreme anger.
" Ah, aha.. He who holds the books, holds the power. And that would be me this time." Naruto smiled devilishly.
Sasuke frowned. " Fine then. 1 stupid meal. But if you don't give my books back afterwards, I will slit your throat."
Naruto tried to ignore the very scary threat Sasuke threw at him, while trying to keep his smile.
" McDonald's...McDonald's... That's where you were going to take me?" Sasuke said smartly.
" Yea, what's wrong with McDonald's?" Naruto asked, while parking the car in the parking lot.
" People who don't graduate work here. This is the only money they can make. You will be working here soon too."
Naruto glanced at him and smirked. " Wow Sasuke, to be such a smart person, you some ignorant things."
Sasuke looked away. He didn't know whether to get mad, or agree. " I'm simply stating fact." Damn he had did it again.
Naruto just got out of the car and ignored him.
They walked inside, to the counter, and ordered.
" I'll have 7 double cheese burgers and 3 small fries please!" Naruto said with a huge grin. " Oh yea, and a coke
The clerk just stared at him stupidly. Then the clerk looked at Sasuke. " And you?"
" Hey!" Naruto yelled. " You didn't put my order in."
" Don't worry," The cashier said, " I have a good memory."
Sasuke shook his head. Sometime he wasn't being ignorant, he really was telling the truth.
" Hey Hun!" the cashier called Sasuke. " What you ordering."
" Oh, um..." Sasuke started. " I'll have a... Dropped out of high school made meal..um.."
Naruto elbowed him. " Sasuke."
" Oh I'm sorry, I'll have a didn't attempt to think about my future..." Sasuke continued. " You know, people like you are a constant reminder of how much I need to graduate."
The cashier stared stupidly once more.
Naruto jumped. " Um, that was short for a bacon double cheese burger!"
Naruto reached in his pocket and pulled out a 20. " We'll be right back, tell us when our food is done, keep the change!" He said grabbing Sasuke so they could sit outside.
" Sasuke, you've gotta stop being so rude to people without educations. If they didn't try, they wouldn't have a job."
" Hmp, it's all about how hard you try. If you don't try hard, you get a crappy job."
" People need to have time to live out their lives too. Not everyone can make perfect grades."
" Well, I can, because I work hard, and I know what I want in life."
Naruto looked at him more seriously. " Sasuke. It's great that you make excellent grades, but you need to live."
" I do."
" No, you don't. you're practically dead. A smart dead man. No one knows you're alive.
" They do too. I make the best grades in Konoha, who doesn't know that.
Naruto touched Sasuke's shoulder. " Yes they know that, but they don't know you.."
Sasuke thought for a moment. Maybe the stupid blond was right. Maybe he didn't have a life. Maybe he was really boring. Maybe he truly was a stiff ass.
Naruto pulled out a juice box and opened it. He inserted the straw and gulped the juice down in less than 5 seconds.
." OK... maybe I am a stiff.", Sasuke mumbled, almost inaudible.
" Huh?" Naruto said squeezing the life out of his juice box, trying to get the last few drops. " I didn't hear that Stick Sasuke."
" I said, maybe I am being a bit of a stiff..." Sasuke said a bit louder, but still in a tone to low to hear. If you weren't paying attention- like Naruto and his juice box- Then you really couldn't hear what he was saying.
" Speak up Stick Sasuke, before I make up a new nickname for your non working voice." Naruto said, finally getting his last few drips. " Ah... Nothing like apple juice."
" I said I'm a stiff!" Sasuke yelled, his out burst causing people walking by to stare at him like some kind of retard.
" Whatever you do, don't point," A lady said to her three children.
Sasuke looked at the lady then back at Naruto, waiting for his reply. He knew there was gonna be one, a smart one too. It was going to be a Naruto reply.
" It's good you said that Sasuke," Naruto said, standing up reaching in his pocket for his keys." The best way to recover from a problem, is by admitting that you have one."
Sasuke placed his hands on his temples. He could not believe he was listening to Naruto, of all people. Naruto was a energy packed fool... Oh yea, that's why he was listening to Naruto.
" Well it is very obvious you know something I don't... So spill it," Sasuke threatened.
" OK, OK. Damn Sasuke." Naruto said with a sweat drop. " Well, first things first, Stop threatening people all the time. It makes you seem so scary. Scary people don't have friends because they're so damn...well, scary!"
Sasuke slammed his hand down on the table. " Tell me something I don't know you pompous!" Sasuke yelled. Once again, attracting more attention to himself.
Naruto waved his hands in defense. "See, right there. You're yelling scary stuff causing people to look at you, people don't like scary people."
" I'm just trying to say, I already know this Naruto." Sasuke managed to say, in a more calm tone.
" Very good Sasuke." Naruto clapped. " I thought I was going to have to change your name to Shouting, Screaming, Scary Sasuke."
Sasuke blinked at Naruto, as if he were a complete moron. " Were you really serious about that?"
" Yea!" Naruto said loudly, with that retarded huge grin again.
" Oh," Sasuke said. " You are a complete moron, sometimes its really sad..."