The blowout was the cherry on top of a shit sundae that was Katniss's post-collegiate life. One moment she was trying to keep her composure, then suddenly she was trying to maintain control of her car as it careened wildly into the other lane. Not just a flat tire, which she could easily fix on her own thanks to her father's tutelage, but a blowout- a rapid loss of pressure leading to an explosion that had the ability to destroy her if she didn't keep her head straight.
How apt it happened now. How perfect a parallel it was to her relationship with Gale. Although, she mused (with shaky hands still clenching the steering wheel as her heart continued to race down the interstate) it wasn't the loss of pressure but the sudden overabundance of it causing their explosion tonight.
Deep breath, she told herself. Take a deep, calming breath. Her eyes fell shut as she concentrated on the slow inhales and exhales, then popped open when she heard the insistent tapping on her window.
"Are you okay?"
She pressed down on the power button and met the eyes of her Good Samaritan, who also happened to be a familiar face. While she'd only met Peeta a couple times in passing-he was a friend of her father's- there was something about him that struck her enough to remember him.
"Katniss," he said with a sigh as he recognized her immediately. "Do you want me to call your dad?"
She managed a firm no before dissolving into tears. "Don't call him," she begged as he opened her car door to help her out. Her father didn't need to see her like this, a sobbing wreck all broken up over a break-up. How embarrassing.
"It's been a bad night," she admitted as Peeta repeated his first question. His concern for her was visible, and she didn't shrug off his touch as he clapped her shoulder and squeezed affectionately.
"Sounds like you need a drink," he said after the story of her fight with Gale came tumbling out. Then he teased, "You're 21, right?"
She straightened her shoulders and scowled. "I'm 22. And a half."
He laughed at that and she scowled harder, but she allowed him to call a tow truck for her, and then he walked her to his car and held the door open for her, too.
At the bar, she learned a little more about Peeta Mellark as she nursed her glass of white wine. She learned that he ordered his drink by requesting their best beer on tap. She learned that he wasn't actually a coalminer, but a mine safety engineer. And she learned that despite being a couple years younger than her father, they had the same lame sense of humor that Katniss rolled her eyes at but secretly loved.
"Got any kids?" she asked as the conversation started to dwindle.
"Nope," he answered simply.
She was surprised. "Really?"
"Never been married, either. I'm a spinster."
She took another delicate sip of her wine. "Well, I'm never getting married, so I guess I'll be a spinster, too."
He picked up on the bitterness behind her comment, and he swiveled on his bar stool to face her. "Want to talk about it?" he asked, probing gently.
The weird thing was, she kind of did. But no way was she going to admit that she and Gale got into a massive fight because she didn't want to give him a blow job, and how that escalated into another fight that ended with him ending it.
"Not really."
She was hungry, though. She thought about telling him that but then imagined he'd reply with, "Well hello, Hungry. I'm Peeta. It's nice to meet you."
"Want to split some crab cakes?" she asked instead.
"Absolutely."
They chatted some more as they ate and she finished her wine, and then he drove her home, where he stopped in to talk with her father as she lingered in the kitchen.
"You okay, sweetie?" her father asked after Peeta left. He only knew about the blowout, not the breakup, but she was already feeling a little better about both.
"Yeah, Dad. I'm okay."
Katniss didn't have many ways to fill her time outside of looking for a teaching position and tending to things around her childhood home. Her parents were being incredibly supportive of her, both financially and emotionally, but sometimes she really just needed to get out of that house.
With limited options in her small town, she often headed to the mall, where she could wander around for hours without drawing much attention to herself. These weekly dates alone were becoming part of her routine, and she always ended her trip with a soft pretzel before stopping at her favorite store, an art supply/craft shop near the main entrance.
Before Prim left for college, she'd raised a brow when Katniss pulled her into The Art Box for the first time. But Prim was off to a fresh start across the country, with a whole world of possibilities open to her, and all Katniss had was a degree and anemic resume, so planning how she would decorate her classroom after she secured a teaching job was one of the few things that made her happy.
That was three months ago and planning was still all she had.
"Hey."
She turned immediately at the sound of his voice, and he smiled kindly at her as he shifted the small basket filled with watercolors from one hand to the other.
"Hi," she replied as she took a step back from the inspirational posters. "Working on a new project?"
It was easy to talk to Peeta, and they now chatted amicably on the few occasions they ran into each other. She knew he painted as a hobby, just as he knew that she liked to hit up the outdoor archery range when the weather was decent.
"Not really, just replenishing the supplies while I'm in the area. What are you up to?"
"Just…daydreaming, I guess," she sighed. He'd already heard her voice her frustrations about finding a job, and she was sure her father also kept him up-to-date about it as well. She seemed to lack all of the connections necessary now to get a teaching position, and now she was starting to feel like she'd never get a classroom of her own.
His brow furrowed as he looked over her shoulder to see what she was browsing. "You should pick something," he said. "Your starter piece. Maybe it'll be good luck for you."
Luck didn't exist, she wanted to say. It was all about who you know, and she didn't know anyone. But before she could snort derisively at his suggestion, he smiled charmingly again. "Come on, it's on me."
"You don't have to do that, Peeta."
She liked that she could call him Peeta. It didn't feel weird, or somehow disrespectful.
"I want to. So what will it be? Einstein sticking out his tongue or the 'Hang in there!' kitten?"
She thought for a moment before shyly reaching for a world map.
"Another classic," he said with a nod. They walked to the checkout together, and she thanked him again before they parted ways at the Orange Julius.
"I'm sure I'll see you around," he smiled again before leaving, and as she tucked the poster under her arm, she hoped it wouldn't be too long before their paths crossed again.
"I need a job," she told her father for the millionth time.
"You need some money?" he asked, absently fishing for his wallet to pull out a twenty.
"No, Dad," she sighed, exasperated. "I mean, yeah, but not, like, an allowance. I need a salary. I need an actual paycheck."
"You'll get there, Kitty," he told her as he went back to his newspaper. "You've got the rest of your life to work. Why don't you try to enjoy your time off while you can?"
He wasn't getting it. She graduated college nearly six months ago. "I applied at a few stores today," she admitted.
He lowered the paper to eye her warily. "I thought we agreed that you'd wait for a teaching job? Your mom can always use your help around here. And if you need some money, just ask."
She bit back a not-so-grateful response. Her parents were being really great with her, and she knew they liked that they were now in a position to take care of her without sacrifice. There were some lean years growing up, before Katniss's mother graduated from nursing school and prior to her dad's promotion in the mines. Her parents had her right out of high school and they struggled for everything, and she knew they didn't want her to have to do the same.
But she wanted to do it on her own. She wanted her grades and boards to mean something, even if it was just a callback at the local grocery store.
"I want to be able to support myself."
"Well, you can't do that on minimum wage, Katniss."
The truthfulness of that statement was doubly annoying. "I know. But it's a start at least. I think it'll be good for me to get out there."
He heaved a sigh as he dropped his paper onto the table, and she was sure he was going to lecture her again. Instead, he paused thoughtfully before relaxing back in his chair. "I think Peeta's office is looking for a secretary. At least you'd make some more money there. I'll give him a call tonight."
Something about that thrilled her, and deep down she knew it wasn't just the prospect of employment.
"Sounds like you've got a crush on him," Madge stated before cracking her gum, and Katniss winced as the obnoxious sound reverberated over the phone line.
She responded immediately with an indignant, "Do not!" Then she realized how damn childish they both sounded, and she rolled over on her back and stared up her bedroom ceiling in frustration.
"Maybe it would be good for you, you know. Things didn't work out with Gale, so maybe it's time to put yourself out there again."
"He's fourteen years older than I am." It was a simple, factual statement, but she said it with a resigned sigh. "And he's technically my boss now, and friends with my father. It couldn't be more inappropriate."
"Sure it could. But he's not married, and he sounds nice, and you definitely think he's cute."
She never said that.
"And," Madge continued. "There's something really hot and forbidden about it. Oh! And I bet he would be super into it. Men love younger girls.
"He'd probably be pretty thankful. Mature, and experienced, and thankful."
"I gotta go, Madge," Katniss said. She didn't wait for a reply before disconnecting the call, and as her thumb hovered over the screen, she realized how pathetic she was. These were supposed to be the best years of her life, but she was spending them in her childhood home, gossiping with her only friend on a cell phone her parents still paid for.
She needed an out, and she hoped the new job at the mines would be it.
Peeta's "office" was a double-wide with three separate rooms. Her desk was in the main area, just off his door, and she was disappointed to find out how little time he actually spent there.
But when they were done at that site, they'd hitch the trailer and drive off to the next one. For once she was gainfully employed, and the stability the job offered meant everything to her now.
Peeta's presence, scarce as it might be, was just a bonus.
"You were in the Air Force?"
He nodded as he leaned further back on the sofa that was in the corner of his office. They were in the middle of a conversation about his family when he dropped that bomb, and her eyes darted around the space for evidence, particularly the pictorial kind, because the idea of Peeta in a flight suit was definitely intriguing. But he didn't have any photographs of himself. He didn't have any photographs at all.
"How do you go from that to…this?" she asked curiously, her eyes back on him.
"I guess I just fell into it like half the other guys who end up in the mines around here."
But most of the miners she knew did it because they didn't have much of a choice; it was really one of the only ways to make a good living in their small town. Peeta, however, came from money. Apparently a lot of it, from what she discerned while on the job. Miners gossiped. They also seemed to resent Peeta, too, even though he was kind as could be to everyone he came across. Her father seemed to be one of his few work friends.
She caught sight of one of his paintings hanging on the wall, and her train of thought switched tracks. "You remind me of Prim. You can do anything and you're good at everything."
He laughed lightly as he shook his head. "Far from it."
She didn't believe that for a minute, but before she had the chance to call him out on it, he sat forward and fixed his eyes on her, openly staring at her until she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I don't think you give yourself enough credit, Katniss," he finally said. "There isn't a coalminer in the county who hasn't heard all about how smart and amazing you are."
"That's just my dad being a dad," she said with an eye roll.
"Not all parents think their children hang the moon. Besides, I've gotten to know you a little better the last few weeks, and he's not exaggerating."
She didn't believe that for a minute, either, and she didn't want to talk about herself, so she skillfully spun the conversation back around to Peeta. "So you got to travel a lot. Which place was your favorite?"
A slow smile spread across his face as he considered it. "Probably Italy."
That sounded wonderful, she thought. Beautiful countryside, delicious food. "I haven't even left the country yet," she admitted.
"You've still got plenty of time for that."
"I guess," she grumbled as she picked at the remnants of her lunch. Last week, Peeta strolled into his office while she was eating a microwave dinner at her desk, and he seemed surprised that she wasn't having lunch on the site with her father. After she explained that they shared enough meals together at home, he asked her to join him in his office. It's been a date every day since.
"If you could go anywhere, where would you go?"
She had just allowed herself to consider it when they were interrupted by a loud knock at the front door. Peeta hefted himself out of his seat to answer it, motioning for Katniss to continue with her lunch. When he returned a moment later, Gale Hawthorne was trailing behind him, and Katniss's eyes widened as she wiped at her face with the back of her hand.
"Hey, Catnip."
"What are you doing here?" She hadn't meant for it to come out as harshly as it did.
"Just had lunch with my dad. He told me you were working here now, so I wanted to drop by and say hello."
She sat her plate down on the coffee table as Peeta excused himself, and after he was gone, she managed a half-hearted 'hello' in response.
Everyone thought she was so upset about the break up, that she was heartsick because she was in love with Gale and it didn't work out. But the truth was that it was the loss of their friendship that hurt her, and a romantic entanglement was always something she could have done without as far as they were concerned. He wanted to explore their relationship, though, and she had gone along with it just to make her best friend happy.
A lot of good that had done.
"I better get back to work," she said, standing and brushing past him. "Tell your dad I said hi."
Peeta must have left the trailer to tend to something else because there was no sign of him as she made her way back to her desk. Gale left quickly after that, mumbling a hurried farewell as he failed to meet her eyes.
She trudged through the rest of her workday in a bad mood, the lightness she felt during lunch with Peeta now long gone. As upset as Gale's visit left her, it was the fact that he disrupted her alone time with Peeta that angered her most.
A couple days later, she was working diligently when Peeta rushed out of his office and breezed past her without acknowledgement. She watched as the door slammed shut behind him, and she tried to shake off the hurt and get back to the report she was typing up on his behalf. At lunch time, she ate alone at her desk again.
About three hours later, he returned with her father. Katniss saw the cast on her dad's foot before he was fully in the trailer, and she jumped out of her seat to help him, even though Peeta was handling it fine on his own. "What happened?" she asked worriedly.
"Oh, some very dangerous mining stuff is all," he smiled as they walked him to Peeta's couch. As he put a little too much weight on his injured leg, the grin turned into a grimace.
"Your dad slipped on some ice in the parking lot," Peeta answered.
"Hey now! I thought we agreed to come up with a better story than that."
"Sorry, Jack. Katniss, it was a bear attack."
"Is it broken?" she asked, ignoring their jokes.
"Yeah, but it's a not that bad, sweetie. I'll be back on both feet in a few weeks."
It was a flimsy reassurance, but she allowed it. Peeta drove her father home that day, and Katniss rode behind him in her dad's car. When they were in the living room of their house, as her mother fussed over her dad's injury, Peeta gently squeezed her hand and promised to pick her up for work in the morning so she could retrieve her car.
"Or you could take the day off and spend it with your dad," he added as they both looked on while her parents bickered mildly. "I won't tell the boss."
Across the room, her father smiled and pulled her mother down to him, finally shutting her up with a soft kiss. She and Peeta averted their eyes.
"I think my mom has everything under control," Katniss admitted. "So I guess I'll see you in the morning?"
"Looking forward to it," he admitted as she saw him out. She softly thanked him again for all his assistance with her father, and they lingered at the front door until she shyly retreated.
Snow often hit their area the hardest in late February, and that year was no exception. Katniss woke one Monday morning to nearly a foot of accumulation. She groaned when she realized she and her mother would be snowed in, so she threw the covers off and bundled up, planning on tackling the shoveling duties since her father was still on the mend.
The sound of a shovel scrapping against the uncovered pavement caught her attention as she zipped up her coat. Her mother was still getting ready for work, and Prim wasn't due home from college until her spring break the following month. She slipped on her boots and headed out through the kitchen side door, and she tried to contain her smile when she saw Peeta in their driveway.
"What are you doing?" she asked, rushing out to greet him. His cheeks were pink from the frost, and he looked adorable in a dark ski cap with the soft waves of his blond hair peeking out from beneath.
"Hey!" he responded cheerfully before returning to his work. "I didn't want your cars to be stuck in the garage. Figured I'd make myself useful."
"I could have done it, you know."
He grinned as he continued to clear the snow. "Oh, I have no doubt about that."
They were interrupted by her mother, who thanked him gleefully when she came outside. "I was just about to call off," she admitted before heading inside to make breakfast. She invited Peeta to stay, but he politely declined, noting that he had to be at work soon.
"Me too," Katniss said with a sigh, already dreading the commute.
"Why don't you ride with me again?" he asked. Both Peeta and her mother had SUVs, but Katniss's small sedan wouldn't navigate as well in these conditions. She accepted gratefully, and then rushed inside to get ready in record time.
Peeta was having coffee with her mother in the kitchen when she returned, and they left quickly to head to the site. "Thanks again," she said as she buckled the safety belt in the front seat of his Chevrolet Tahoe. "I hate snow, so you saved my morning."
"I'm glad."
She asked about his weekend, which he called "uneventful" and she admitted hers was as well.
"So no hot dates?" he asked, and she laughed caustically.
"Yeah, right."
"I, uh, actually thought you and Gale might have worked things out," he said, his eyes trained on the icy road ahead.
"There's nothing to work out," she replied.
Peeta shook his head as he seemed to consider something. "That kid's going to regret it."
She shrugged absently as she looked out her window at the passing snowy scenery. "I'm sure he's already moved on.
"Multiple times," she added, sharing a smile with Peeta.
"Probably just trying to cope with the pain of losing you."
"He's the one who ended things," she said with yet another shrug.
"Are you still upset about that?" he wondered, and she confessed that it was only the loss of their friendship that really bothered her.
"Maybe I'm just not meant to have a love life."
He laughed softly, his full attention seemingly back on the road. "If I were about 15 years younger, I'd be investing a lot of time in proving you wrong about that."
She raised a brow at that comment. "Really?"
"I like to think so. Truth is, I'd probably be too nervous to ever ask you out."
He looked over at her with a smile then, and something about the look in his eyes told her that he wasn't just saying all this to make her feel better about anything.
The idea that he could possibly be attracted to her did things to her body that she wasn't prepared for, and she squirmed in her seat for the rest of the drive.
As the snowfall melted, her father's injury slowly healed. But he wasn't quite ready to go back to work, and he was driving her and her mother crazy with his cabin fever. When Peeta called one Saturday for help with an electrical issue at his house, her dad was on his (still shaky) feet a second later, ready to be on his way. He asked Katniss if she wanted to tag along, and she didn't hesitate before agreeing.
They pulled up to a nice sized two-story stone house across the town, and Katniss felt suddenly shy as she trailed behind her father up Peeta's walkway. There was still so much she wanted to know about Peeta, even as they learned plenty about each other during their workdays together.
"Hey, thanks for stopping by," Peeta said as he opened his front door to them. His smile widened when he saw Katniss, and he invited them both inside.
He led her father to a guestroom upstairs, explaining that he finally got around to replacing the switches in the back bedroom when he ran into trouble. She tuned them out as they discussed the wiring, and her eyes roamed the empty space, bored by the lack of information it presented.
As they were immersed in their work, Katniss felt free to roam the hallway outside. It was sparsely decorated, and in many ways it was obvious that the house belonged to a bachelor, but there was also something very quaint about his home. There weren't many photos lining the walls, but there were the occasional pieces of his art that he must have liked well enough to display here. She admired each one as she passed it.
There was an updated bathroom the next door down, and another small bedroom past that. The door at the end of the hall was cracked open, and she could barely make out the bed off to the side of the room. It must be where Peeta slept, she realized. His bedroom. If she were bolder, she'd explore it while they were preoccupied, but she respected his privacy enough for it to trump her curiosity.
She returned to the other bedroom, her absence missed. Apparently her father figured out the issue pretty quickly, and he was ribbing Peeta for failing to see it. She knew her dad didn't have a mean bone in his body, but he wasn't picking up on the way Peeta wasn't quite in on the teasing about his masculinity. Coupling this with a few offhand comments he'd made to her about his family before, Katniss realized it was probably something he was sensitive about.
"Guess I have to turn in my man card now," he said lightly, but his smile wasn't reaching his eyes.
"We'll collect it at the next meeting," her dad chuckled. He turned back to Katniss as he rolled up his sleeves. "Ready to hit the road, Kid?"
Not really, she thought. It'd be another boring Saturday at home with her parents. Katniss was actually just as eager for her father to heal as he was, because as much as she loved them, she preferred it when they were always out and about with their own lives, and she was afforded some privacy and time alone. "Yeah, okay."
"Thanks for coming over," Peeta told them at the door, but Katniss's attention was focused on the tops of her shoes peeking out from beneath the hem of her jeans. She mumbled a quick goodbye, and followed her father back to the car.
Later that evening, her phone buzzed with a text notification, and she was surprised to see it was from Peeta. They texted occasionally before, but not often.
Peeta: Everything okay?
He must have picked up on her attitude that afternoon. Not surprising. He was always strangely perceptive of her feelings.
Katniss: I'm alright. Just bored.
And frustrated, but that went without saying. Peeta was on the receiving end of many of her rants about her ongoing search for a teaching job. It was another thing that she had to dwell on during nights in with her parents.
Before he had a chance to reply, she quickly typed out an apology for her father's offhand comment earlier. He has a lame sense of humor, she said.
Peeta: No worries. I know he didn't mean anything by it.
Katniss thought deliberately about her next reply before writing, I think you can keep your man card. Being a former fighter pilot and all.
Peeta: A cookie-baking and flower-painting former fighter pilot. He added a winking emoticon at the end and she resisted the urge to tease him for that.
Katniss: So what are your plans for the night?
Peeta: Don't have any.
Peeta: Maybe I'll bake some cookies or paint some flowers, not sure yet.
Katniss: I don't know how you don't have any plans. I saw your satellite dish today.
Peeta: Fan of premium channels, are we?
Katniss: I wouldn't know. My dad is a firm believer in basic cable.
Peeta: Feel free to stop by some time and see how the other half lives.
She invited herself over the next Friday night.
For every night she spent on his couch, the space between them seemed to decrease by an inch or so.
When they were only half a cushion apart, she brought up her bare feet to curl under her body, and the heel of her foot brushed the outside of his thigh, but she pretended she didn't notice.
The following week, he draped his arm over the back of the sofa, and she leaned in ever so slightly.
She was sure he was feeling it, too. Whatever this was between them, it had to be somewhat mutual. So she continued to move closer until there was barely any breathing room between their bodies. One of her friends in college once told her that she thought too much, that she should just act every once in awhile. Peeta was freezing up next to her, that she could feel, but she didn't want to over think this, too.
So she kissed him. It wasn't a smooth, fluid motion. She stumbled a bit as she turned to press herself against him, and her lips missed at first, landing more at the corner of his mouth. But she corrected it quickly, her nose slightly bumping his as their lips pressed together.
Then he was kissing her back, eagerly wrapping his arms around her to pull her more firmly against him as his mouth moved with hers. It deepened quickly, her lips parting to offer more of herself. He moaned softly deep in the back of his throat, and she sighed, too. He was really kissing her back, and she wanted nothing more than to give into the temptation and slip her tongue against his so she could taste the inside of his sweet mouth.
But then it was over as quickly as it began, and he was gently pushing her away. "Katniss, stop. We can't. I'm sorry."
She blinked, dumbfounded. But he kissed her back. He wanted her, too. She'd been so sure.
"We can't," he repeated again, and it almost seemed like he was lecturing himself as much as her.
She scrambled out of her seat and rushed to the door, slipping her shoes on as she tried to hide her mortification. "I should go."
"You don't have to. We should talk about this."
"No, I should go."
He raced after her, jogging behind as she escaped onto his front porch. "Will I see you Monday?"
"Of course," she answered. She still needed her job, after all.
His shoulders sagged slightly as he exhaled. "I'm sorry, Katniss."
She didn't want to hear it. She just wanted to get to her car.
And this was exactly why she liked to over think things.
"Bye," he called out pathetically, but she didn't reply as she started up her engine.
The house was dark when she arrived home. Her parents were out on a date-night and Prim wasn't due home for the summer for several more weeks. She climbed the stairs slowly and stripped down to underwear before climbing into bed. The streetlights outside filtered through her blinds and cast shadows across her ceiling, and she stared up at them as she tried to think of anything but Peeta.
It was awkward now at work. He smiled softly at her that Monday morning and offered up a hello, but she only nodded an acknowledgment before settling in at her desk. During lunch, she pointedly pulled out a brown paper bag while finishing up a report for Peeta, and she hoped that was a flash of hurt that crossed his face before he covered it.
Things were tense for the rest of the week until that Friday, when she arrived in the morning to find a box of cupcakes waiting on her desk. Peeta's office door was shut as she slowly lifted the white cardboard top.
The first three had 'Happy Birthday Katniss' piped on the top of a bed of icing and surrounded by delicate sugar flowers. The bottom three were a little sloppy, which made her smile. "Please have lunch with me today?" they asked, and she knew she would agree.
"Can I talk to you in my office when you get a moment?" he asked a few weeks later, and she was a little put off by how serious he sounded.
"Yeah, I just have to make a couple calls first."
He nodded before heading back, shutting the door behind him, and she worried her lip as she finished up the last of her work.
It felt odd to knock on his door, but she did, and he beckoned her inside. "Is something wrong?"
"You know how you're always complaining that you need to have connections to get a teaching job around here?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"Well, I guess now would be a good time to mention I have connections."
"What do you mean?" she asked, sitting in the chair across from his desk.
"I never mentioned it before because they didn't have any positions open, but one of my childhood friends is the principal at the Springfield middle school. I asked her to let me know if they were ever hiring, and she called this morning. One of the sixth grade teachers is moving and she needs a replacement for the fall."
Katniss was literally on the edge of her seat now as she waited for him to continue. "She knows about you, and she wants to meet with you sometime next week,"
"For real?" Katniss grinned, unable to contain her excitement. "I have an interview?"
Her enthusiasm seemed to be contagious as he smiled just as widely. "You've got an interview."
"Thank you so much, Peeta. There's no way I would have gotten it without you."
"No need to thank me. I just told her about you, but you're going to be the one who seals the deal, Katniss."
She wanted to enjoy the moment for as long as possible before the nerves set in, but then a troublesome thought crossed her mind, and her smile fell. "Peeta, did you do this because…because of what happened last month? I mean, do you want me to leave this job because of it."
"No," he stated emphatically, the worry because she assumed that now etched in his features. "Not at all, Katniss. I'd hate to lose you here, you've got to know that. I'll miss you like crazy if you get this job."
"It's a big if."
"It's really not," he replied, sliding a piece of paper across his desk. "Here's her number. You can take off any time you want."
"Thank you," she repeated as she accepted it. "And for what it's worth, I'm really sorry for what I did."
She was at the door when he called her name again. "Yeah?"
"I'm not," is all he said, and her brow furrowed in confusion as she made her way back to her desk.
Delly Cartwright was incredibly nice to her, and she made Katniss's first interview about a hundred times less stressful by being so friendly and happy. They talked for a couple hours, discussing at length Katniss's teaching methods and goals. At the end of the interview, Delly offered her the position, and Katniss had to ask her to repeat it because she was sure she didn't hear right.
It was her first instinct to drive back to their office, and she hoped that Peeta would actually be in his office for once instead of somewhere on the site. As she pulled into her parking space, she spotted him several yards aware, orange mining helmet still on as he spoke to a coalminer. She waited in her car until they finished their discussion, and once the other man was gone, she got out and chased after him. On the way over, she thought about pretending it hadn't gone well, then surprising him with the news. But that was all forgotten as she got closer and called out after him. He turned around at the sound of his name, and she rushed to him, wrapping her arms around him in a fierce hug that he eagerly returned. "I got it!"
He lifted her off her feet, spinning them slowly as his arms tightened around her. "I knew you'd do fantastic."
It felt like a long while before he set her back down, and still she didn't want to let go of him. If there were any of her father's coworkers around, though, it would look suspicious, and that realization was the only thing that gave her the willpower to pull away.
"C'mon, let's order a celebratory lunch," he said, taking her hand in his and leading her to the trailer. It felt so good that she didn't ever want to let go, and she didn't give a damn about who saw them in that moment.
One of the best things about her new teaching position was that it didn't start until the end of the summer, so she was still able to work with Peeta until school began. She still thought about the kiss they shared, still wondered what would have happened had he not stopped it, but it was enough to spend her weekdays with him. Then, after what felt like some sort of probationary period on both their parts, she began visiting him at home again.
There were still moments where Katniss felt like the attraction was too much to ignore. The times where their laughter would trail off, their eyes would meet, and she'd remember just what it felt like to have his lips pressed against hers. But he was always the one to break the spell first, and she would be left staring after his retreating form as he escaped behind his office door.
She could never quite figure him out. There were plenty of times when she could have sworn he was flirting with her, and some of the looks he sent her way shot straight to her core. She was so grateful that Prim was home for the summer, because the more time spent with her little sister meant less time with Peeta, and it saved her sanity. He hadn't even crossed her mind since she said goodbye to him at work that afternoon.
That didn't stop her from feeling like someone had punched her in the gut when she saw him and a nondescript blonde woman seated across from each other at the restaurant. As the waiter led her family to their table, she tried not to stare their way.
It felt like the words on the menu were blurring together as her parents and Prim talked about their day. She stayed quiet, pretending to peruse the entrees, when her mother mentioned Peeta's name.
"Oh, I didn't know they were coming here!" she said with a light laugh. "Should we go say hi?"
"They're on a date, Millie!" her father replied.
Another punch. There went that small shred of hope that it wasn't how it looked. Katniss lowered the menu in time to see her mother smiling brightly as she waved over at their table, and she turned her head to find the blonde waving back, smiling just as wide.
"Do you know her?" she asked her mother, hoping her voice wasn't as quivery as it sounded in her head.
"We work together. I played matchmaker." Katniss scowled at her mother's sly smile, and though she knew she had no reason to really be angry with her, she still was.
She looked over at their table again, and her eyes locked with Peeta's before she averted her gaze.
"What are you gonna get, Kitty?" her father asked her as she folded her menu closed.
"I'm not really hungry right now," she said, and her father laughed.
"Alert the presses! Katniss Everdeen is full."
Dinner was hell, and she wondered if either of her parents noticed how often her head was turned in the other direction as she tried to gauge Peeta's interest in her mother's coworker. Sometimes he'd look up and catch, her, and he'd hold the stare for several moments before resuming conversation with his date.
While her mother and father didn't catch it, Prim did, and Katniss knew there would be questions later.
Peeta and the woman stood to leave just as her family's food arrived, and Katniss forced her attention to the small cup of lamb stew she'd ordered. There was no way she would be able to touch it now.
"I'll see you Monday, Millie!" the woman said as they stopped by on their way out.
"I guess I'll see you on Monday," Peeta told her father as Katniss looked on. "And I'll definitely see you," he said to Katniss, smiling as if everything was absolutely fine.
She didn't respond. Couldn't if she wanted to. They left and her stew grew cold.
"I think I'm going to turn in early tonight," she said later that evening after they returned home. She'd tried to distract herself by sitting down to watch a movie with them, but all she could do was wonder if Peeta and the woman were still together, and if they were, what they were doing.
Prim shot her a look as she rose from the couch, and she returned it with one that said, We'll talk later.
"Are you getting sick, honey?" her mother asked.
"No," she answered tersely before tromping up the stairs.
Sleep eluded her, and the heavy silence in her room allowed her mind to race more. Not able to take another moment of it, she reached for her phone on the nightstand and quickly typed out a message.
Katniss: Hey. What are you up to tonight?
She waited for several minutes that felt like an eternity before her phone buzzed with a reply.
Gale: Spending some time with Posy. You?
As they bounced texts back and forth, she could read into his confusion over her sudden renewed interest, but she refused to feel guilty over it. They made plans to meet after his baby sister was in bed, so at nine o'clock, she crept back down the steps and out the backdoor without her family noticing.
He tasted the same (different from Peeta) and he felt the same (different from Peeta). As her hands slipped between them to brush the persistent bulge in his jeans, he broke their fevered kiss.
"Okay, Catnip, what the hell has gotten into you?"
It wasn't said with the same hopeful yet breathless voice he used earlier after she'd pounced. Now he was just suspicious, and she realized he had every reason to be. In their one hour together, they'd already gone further than they had in the one month they dated.
She tried to shut him up with her lips, but he wasn't having it. He knew her too damn well. He knew just how terrible and selfish she could be.
They fought, and the chasm she felt between them before breached out into an unfixable abyss. After he dropped her off at the end of her block, she turned around to walk the length of her street several times before finally heading back.
Her parents and Prim were in bed by the time she returned, and she was grateful for that at least. She tossed and turned for most of the night until falling into a fitful sleep, and when she woke around noon, her mother was at the foot of her bed, her face etched with concern.
"How are you feeling?" she asked, reaching to press her palm to Katniss's forehead.
"I'm fine," she growled as she slipped out from under the covers and began padding to the bathroom.
She somehow woke in a worse mood than when she went to bed, and she didn't want to keep taking it out on her mother, or anyone else. It wasn't their fault that Peeta messed with her head.
No, it was his fault. And she wasn't going to take it anymore.
There was a priceless look of surprise when he opened his door and found her on his front porch. She didn't return his confused hello as she brushed past him and into his house.
All the bad feelings she'd been harboring since that night he turned her down came tumbling out. She wanted to know why he did it, why he led her on only to rebuff the advances. Why he looked at her the way he did and then refused to meet her eyes. She couldn't have been imagining it all this time. As fantastical as it sounded, she knew he felt it, too. He had to.
"Nothing can happen between us, Katniss," he answered flatly, and her fists clenched in frustration.
"Don't treat me like a child."
"Then don't act like one!" he snapped back.
She felt her throat tightening with the threat of tears, but she didn't want to cry in front of him and prove his point further. "I have five weeks left on the job," she said quietly after recollecting herself. "Then I'm done. That's it. We won't see each other anymore."
His face was solemn as he nodded in agreement. "It's probably for the best."
"I just want you to know that I don't appreciate the mixed signals," she said. "And you know you do it."
He muttered an apology, but it fell on deaf ears as her eyes landed on the thin scarf draped over the back of his couch. She recognized it instantly, and she could still picture it wrapped stylishly around the blonde's long neck.
"You brought her back here," she said absently as she tried to wrap her mind around it. It was exactly what she feared, and it hurt just as bad as she imagined it would. But the worst of it was the part of her still holding out that little bit of hope.
Maybe she just stopped in for a few minutes, it said. Maybe it doesn't mean what you think it does.
"Just tell me," she asked. "I can't keep doing this, so just tell me."
"I slept with her," he admitted quietly. "Is that what you want to hear?"
"All I want to hear is the truth."
He scoffed before his mouth twisted in a sardonic smile. "Fine. I fucked her and thought about you the entire time. There's the truth. Feel better?"
"How is that supposed to make me feel better?" she yelled once she shook herself out of her stunned silence. "It's like you're playing a game with me or something."
He sighed in defeat. "I don't want to do this to you, Katniss. I'm sorry. You asked for an honest answer, and there it is.
"And here's another confession- I asked your mother to set me up because I know I need to forget about you. Lee is someone I should want. Someone I'm allowed to have feelings for. You're not."
"That's bullshit, too," she replied. "We're not Romeo and Juliet. I might still be figuring things out, but I am an adult."
"You're fifteen years younger than I am. I'm your boss. I'm technically your father's boss. There's a pretty significant power imbalance here, Katniss. How do you think your parents would feel if we were together? What do you think everyone would assume?"
"I don't understand why you care so much about what other people think."
"I care because I don't want it to have any impact on you! And I don't understand why you don't assume the same things everyone else would."
"Because I know you better than that, okay? And I feel the same way about you."
"Please don't say that," he pleaded.
"It's the truth. I care about you more every day I spend with you. The more I get to know you, the more I-"F
She was cut short by his mouth on hers, and all the fight inside of her seeped out as she sagged against him, clutching at his strong shoulders while deepening the kiss.
He wasn't pulling away this time, and as his lips moved confidently with her own, she knew they were both in too deep now for their own good. She could have taken the out he offered, could have left broken-hearted but angry. But that wasn't the path she wanted to take.
This time, she stopped the kiss, gently pushing off his chest and stumbling back as he blinked in surprise. "I think you need to wash Lee's smell off of you before we talk about this," she told him firmly. "I'll see you at work tomorrow."
The more Katniss learned about herself, the more she realized that power imbalance wouldn't be as significant as he thought.
TBC
There will be about 3 or 4 chapters to this one. My fic tumblr url is annieoakley1, so feel free to stop by and say hello. Thanks for reading!