Chapter 1: Another Unwanted Seal
"WHAT?" The cry of one particular 18 year old blonde ninja woke up the entire populace of Konoha at the ungodly hour of 7:00am…and on a weekend too.
"I'm sorry Naruto, but you just can't eat ramen anymore. Sakura and I've been wondering why you haven't grown at all and since the only thing that hasn't changed with you is ramen, that's the only thing it could be." Tsunade sat back in her chair, ready for anything else Naruto may come up with. Surprisingly, Naruto merely looked up with a smirk.
"So what are you going to do about me when I leave on missions outside the town?" Tsunade grinned before gesturing to Jiraiya, who was now standing behind the blonde jinchuuriki. In an instant, the blonde had jumped back in a defensive position, his kunai knife out.
"Oh there is no way in hell that you two are going to physically beat the living crap out of me until I give up ramen, believe it! Besides, I'm stronger than the both of you now." Tsunade kept that annoying smile on her face.
"That is true Naruto, you may be stronger than me physically, but…" In an instant, the blonde Hokage (Tsunade, not Naruto) had pulled up her shirt, revealing her…overly large assets. Naruto could only stare for about 3 seconds, before flying back from a spurting nose-bleed before passing out on the ground.
"Poor innocent Naruto, now Jiraiya, put the seal on him…Jiraiya?" Tsunade glanced to her left to see the perverted Sannin being just that, as he was currently pre-occupied ogling the busty blonde. In an instant, the Sannin was knocked out cold lying next to Naruto. Tsunade sighed.
"Great, now I have to wait for Jiraiya to wake up…or…" Tsunade lifted up the Sannin, and aimed at a specific spot in the village, before tossing the Toad Sannin up in the air, following up with a chakra-enhanced kick which sent Jiraiya flying all the way across the village…right into the hot springs.
Yet another scream filled the village…followed by a lot more squealing and sounds of another man screaming. After all, how was Tsunade supposed to know today was the Hyuuga womens' weekly bath day?
It was about an hour later when Jiraiya returned, limping the whole way, having suffered numerous tenketsus being closed in. To make matters worse, there was one specific area that was really limp, having suffered a direct shot. Jiraiya grimaced and was glad that his 'little buddy' down there was numbed as well, or else he'd be down on the ground clutching it.
Tsunade also noticed the odd walking method of the Toad Sannin after he came back and chuckled.
"Now, draw his seal."
Time Skip…
Naruto woke dazedly with a red hue to his face after remembering just what had knocked him unconscious in the first place. Above him were Tsunade and Jiraiya, smirking for some reason. Grumbling about old blondes and perverted sages, the prankster ninja hopped to his feet before looking at both of them oddly.
"Just what did you do to me?" Tsunade looked to Jiraiya, who looked back to Tsunade, and they both faced the blonde.
"Absolutely nothing." Naruto simply stared at both of them for a while.
"Ok…I'm going to get some ramen now, and no flashing, granny." When Naruto instinctively raised his arms above his head, he felt no imminent attack. Peeking over his eyes for a moment, he noticed that the old Hokage was still smiling. Now Naruto was definitely afraid.
"Fine, don't tell me what you did. But from the silence I'm guessing I'm still allowed to eat my precious ramen, so bye!" In a yellow flash, much reminiscent of the fourth Hokage, the blonde was gone in an instant.
It was finally after Naruto had left that Tsunade actually decided to ask Jiraiya what he did to Naruto.
"Oh let's just say the new effect of ramen on Naruto will be a blast." Tsunade narrowed her eyes at Jiraiya.
"How much of a blast?" Their answer was rewarded when a large shockwave shook the Hokage Tower and both rushed to the window to see a large smoke column rising from where Ichiraku's ramen stand was. Tsunade glared at Jiraiya, who simply waved his hands nervously.
"Um…I made a mistake somewhere?" Once again, the white-haired Sannin found himself being sent flying into the hot springs, where he was once again beset upon…and had more damage done to his 'little buddy' down below.
Meanwhile, Naruto had just regained consciousness from the explosion and looked to his left, and noticed that Ichiraku's was completely destroyed. Not only that, but he also saw the spilt bowls of ramen all over the floor. It was finally then that Naruto cracked.
"MY PRECIOUS RAMEN, NOOO!!" After slowly crawling towards the noodles, he never noticed all the ramen noodles glow around him before they exploded. It was then that the entire local populace of Konoha woke up at the ungodly hour of 8:30am while on a weekend after the numerous explosions, screaming, squealing and wailing, grumbling about inconsiderate assholes who couldn't be bothered giving people a nice sleep-in.
They were going to be in for a rough day.