All That and a Bag O' Cheetos
By: The Bubbles
Disclaimer- "Canada is great. We should all try to be more like Canada. They don't start wars or cause trouble. They just sit up there eating bacon and drinking maple syrup."
Summary: In honor of the return of the greatest sketch comedy show to grace the television screen, I've crossed over Evo and All That. Musical guest 'The Evo Karaoke Gang.' Sketches include Detective Dan, Vital Information, and Ask Ashley.
A/N- Like I said in the summary, All That is by far the best sketch comedy show ever. Since The N' has started playing it again, I've decided to do some crossovers. And no, I'm not planning to abandon The Problem With Parents. This is just a side thing for when my brain overloads.
Also, I would like to point out that I refuse point blank to acknowledge the second series at all and therefore all sketches will be from the Golden Era.
Okay, five minutes everyone, five minutes until Showtime!
(o.o.o)
It was a beautiful night. Snow from a recent snowstorm covered the ground, but the sky itself had long since cleared, so that the stars shown through, casting a glittering sheen on everything. It was all in all a perfect night for Warren's Christmas Charity Gala Masquerade Ball, held at the Worthington mansion.
Rogue, in a costume of an armadillo, was trying to ignore the fact that Remy was helping himself to some rather shiny valuables. Normally she would have said something, but she was bored, and she figured that he would get caught and make the night interesting.
Almost as if on cue, Warren spotted Gambit making off with his loot and tackled him.
"Ah! Help, I'm being manhandled! Attack, assault, murder, rape! Help, help, help!"
Before anyone could say a word, a man in a fedora and a trench coat skidded into the room and nearly fell over.
"I'm Detective Dan," he said in a cliché detective's voice, once he'd regained his balance.
Behind a nearby statue, the authoress, a shameless fangirl of Josh Server in general and Detective Dan in specific, gave a very audible meep and nearly drowned in a large puddle of her own drool. Kurt, who was standing on the other side of the statue, heard this and jumped atop the figure's head to investigate. The authoress looked up and spotted him. She gave another meep.
"I'm not here," she said. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her id-mat, which looked like a zipper tag, and setting it on the floor, she unzipped a plothole. With a cheeky grin and a mock salute, she jumped through and zipped it behind her.
Kurt scratched his head in confusion and shrugged. He jumped down to the floor where the others were all gathered around the peculiar detective.
"Now what seems to be the problem here?" He was saying.
"Detective, thank goodness you're here," Warren said. He pointed at Remy. "This man was trying to steal some of our valuables!"
"Theft?" The detective looked confused. "That can't be right; I came here to investigate an assault. Who was being assaulted?"
Remy raised his hand. "That would be me."
"Well, duh!" Warren ruffled his wings impatiently. "I 'assaulted' him because he was trying to steal the valuables from some of my guests."
"Ah-HA!" Dan spun around and pointed at the millionaire. "So you admit it!"
"Admit what? That I was trying to prevent my guests from being robbed?" He pointed at Remy. "He's a thief. Go ahead, ask him."
"Okay." The Detective shrugged and turned to Remy. "Were you trying to rob these nice people?"
"Who me?" Remy looked taken aback. "Never, why would I?"
"That's a good question," Dan replied thoughtfully. "Why would you want to steal from these nice people; after all, you do have all these nice shiny jewels of your own." He indicated the various bits of jewelry on Gambit's person; Angel, meanwhile, executed a perfect face palm. Detective Dan patted Remy on the back. "Okay, pal, you're free to go."
Gambit grinned. "Hey, thanks, mon ami." He laughed delightfully as he ran off.
Angel scowled and was about to fly after him when Detective Dan grabbed him and sat him down. "Hey! What are you doing?"
"I'll ask the questions here, ma'am," Dan said with a glare. He turned away thoughtfully. "Where were you when my pizza arrived late last week?"
All those present gave him a blank stare.
"Are you off your rocker, man?" Angel asked. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"That's a very good point," Dan acknowledged. "I better take off my pants."
"Take off your what?!"
He grabbed the waistband of his trousers and ripped his pants from his body. In the ensuing confusion, the authoress snuck back in, grabbed the pants and snuck out.
Kitty looked the now pantless detective up and down.
"Um, Sir? Aren't you… cold?"
"Why yes. Yes I am."
"That's it!" Warren had had enough. He grabbed the hapless Detective Dan and dragged him over to the door. "I've had enough of you and your crazy antics!" And on that note, he threw the half-naked man out of the door and slammed. Seconds later, it opened again, and his pants sailed out to land on his head before the door was once more slammed.
Detective Dan stood up and removed his ripped up slacks from his head. He looked out toward the street and, with much teeth-chattering, said,
"I'm Detective Dan, I'm very very cold right now."
(o.o.o)
A/N- Well, there you are. Don't expect the next chapter for a while, because I've also gotta work on "TPW/P" and Tocxi's birthday fic, which takes priority. When I do get the next chapter up, it will be a crossover with either "Jimmy Bond" or "Repairman-man."