Night Terrors
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. If I did I would be a very happy person. First person to go would be Sakura cause I don't like her.
Summary: Naruto went on a mission with the rest of team seven just before the Chunin exams. What would happen if when he was sleeping he had a nightmare and then they were attack before he can recover? What if it broke his mask? What if the others learned he is not what he appeared to be?
A/N This is my first Naruto fan fic so please be nice in your reviews. Please enjoy!
Old man Sarutobi had given us one final mission to go on before the Chunin exams. He wanted to make sure we were ready. It was a simple mission. Just escort this young messenger back to his village. It was only a C-Ranked mission. No big deal right?
Wrong... Ever since we had left the gates of Konoha I've had this bad feeling. It scared me so much that I wasn't acting like I usually did. Right now I would be jumping around happily. I would have had this giant smile stretching across my face. I would be doing anything to keep them from finding the real me. The one I've been hiding since early childhood.
They wouldn't understand... Right? They wouldn't like the real me... Right? They would hate me... Right? I don't want that... I never wanted that... But ever since I learned the truth... It hurts to look at the glaring villagers. It hurt to see my friends genuinely happy. There my friends... Right? Maybe... Maybe not...
Right now I have a frown... One I can't seem to fight off with that annoying smile. Did they know I hate smiling? Did they know it hurt to smile? Did they know that each hurtful word they direct at me hurts me deeply? Did they know I'm slowly dying on the inside?
Kyuubi is concerned about my mental state. He's begged me to talk to Iruka-sensei. To talk to someone... To let out the hurt. I haven't cried for real in a long time... I have forced that evil pain away...
My eyes are clouded... They are darker then they usually are. Sasuke is the only one who has visibly noticed so far. No one has said anything. For once I'm showing part of my depression. Will he say anything? Will he help me? No not the mighty Sasuke. He's probably happy to finally see me so quiet and well... not happy.
Sakura doesn't care. She doesn't even look my way. She maybe wondering why I'm quiet but she probably doesn't want to say anything because she doesn't want me to start talking again. They don't know how much there hurting me... Ignoring me like they are...
Kakashi-sensei has probably noticed as well. I don't know what's keeping him from saying anything. Maybe he hates me like all the other adults. He's the kind I hate the most. The kind that hate me silently... Behind my back. He acts all nice to me... Playing me for a fool. Only later he will reveal the truth. He hates me... I know he does.
I walk behind everyone with my head down. My bangs cover my eyes and my hands are in my pockets. I couldn't bare to wear that hideous orange jumpsuit. Did they know I hate that jumpsuit? Did they know that the shops refuse to sell me clothes and other things? Did they know I'm forced to eat ramen? Did they know I can't go cook and that I'm not allowed into the other restaurants? Only the ramen stand? Did they know I hate the clothes I wear?
I finally managed to get a pair of decent clothes when we visited the wave country. They actually sold me clothes! For once I didn't have to eat ramen! I was very tempted to just stay there forever... They didn't judge me. They even named a bridge after me! The Great Naruto Bridge. Has a nice ring to it... Doesn't it?
Right now I have a black shirt on with a blood red jacket on over it. I am also wearing black baggy pants which is where I have hidden my weapons but I can still reach them no matter what. I also have my black sandals on. I just couldn't bare to wear my blue ones. I also have a black forehead protector on instead of my blue one. I decided to wear my dark colors to match my current mood.
I know they noticed. Why haven't they said something? I'm not wearing orange! I let them believe that orange is my favorite color! Why haven't they asked? It hurts... So deep inside my chest. My heart is bleeding...
The real me is a genius. The real me is serious. Sometimes that shows through. Like when the lives of my teammates are on the line. The real me is quiet and cunning. The real me... is more like Sasuke then he will ever know. I know so many jutsu's. Kyuubi has been teaching me for years now. Silently... I have shown them the opposite of me. What if they saw me? The real me? What would they say? What would they do? Would they accept me? I doubt it...
The first day is over on this five day mission. Two days going there. One day of rest. (Should we need it.) And two days to get back home. Simple right? Wrong...
I offered to do the first watch. I'm not tired nor am I hungry. I barely ate any of the fish we had caught earlier. I don't like eating a lot of food... I do it for show then I go home and barf most of it back up. I lean against a tree and let my senses search the area for danger. My hearing is sensitive and I'm a pretty light sleeper. Again most of it is an act. Sometimes I don't sleep. Most of the time I pretend to sleep. I have made it an art form. No one has yet to figure out when I pretend to sleep and when I'm really asleep.
I sniff the air with my sensitive nose. I send chakra waves out to see if it can sense anything. No one knows that I can do that. I decided to keep it a secret for now. Soon Sasuke wakes up and takes over. I give him a weak smile before slipping off into the land of dreams and nightmares...
Dream
I stand alone in a field of blood red flowers when a blood red fox appears before me. I just stare into its blood red eyes before it jumps on top of me and is absorbed into my stomach. A group of villagers step out of a mist that had spread the minute the fox had entered me. There angry... They hate me! I have to run! I must get away! I have to save myself again!
Why bother running? Why bother living? No one will ever acknowledge me. No one will ever care for me. Except maybe Iruka-sensei. I find myself stopping and I turn to face them. There standing in the front row is Sakura, Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei. I knew they hated me.
They run at me with blades so sharp it feels as though each and every plunge kills another part of my soul. There killing me... I'm dying... I don't want to die. Yet what can I do?
I hear someone yelling my name. At first I thought it was someone from my dream. I felt hope start to fill me. Maybe someone does care! Then arms are shaking me... Telling me to wake up! We're under attack! My eyes snap open. There stood twenty ninja. A shiver goes down my spine as I jump up.
Maybe I should let them kill me. No I have to protect the others! They may not care about me but I care about them! I have to help them. We form a circle with our backs together. The young messenger, who I never learned the name of, is at the center. Jutsu after jutsu is released. A large amount of chakra is used to protect my allies. With deadly precision I kill ten ninja's on my own. Sasuke kills three and Sakura knocks out two. Kakashi kills the last five ninja's. Why did they attack?
As we turn away from the carnage the others look at me with something akin to fear in there eyes. I don't think they have ever seen me so serious. Nor do I think they have ever seen me this powerful. Well they have to deal with it. I don't care.
I can feel there stares as I start to walk away. I can feel my eyes darken completely now. Did they honestly think that was my first kill? Did they honestly think that I am that innocent? Did they honestly believe that mask?
We can't stay here anymore. I know those ninja's were sent to test us. They were all weak Chunin. Or maybe they came to kill the messenger. I don't know for sure. All I do know is that... We're in danger.
I grab my pack and continue to walk away. They call after me but I don't even slow down. A minute later I can feel there presence just behind me. I can hear them talking about me. How I'm acting so strange. Well guess what guys! This is the real me! Believe it! I start to chuckle but it isn't my normal chuckle. The one I use when I pretend to be sheepish. No this one is dark and scary.
Believe it... I wonder where I had picked that up from. I can't seem to remember... Oh well its not important. Just like my life. Another day passes by and I'm still not acting the way I'm supposed to be. I can feel there concern now. I haven't said a word since the day we left Konoha. Even Sakura seems to care.
I heave a heavy sigh once we enter our destination. I head straight for the closest hotel to rest after using so much chakra. I lay back on the bed in our hotel room just staring at the ceiling. The mission is complete. I considered just starting off for home without them but it seems they need to relax before we go back and I have to stay and protect them. Why are we staying? They barely fought! I did all the work. Lazy morons...
Sasuke just came in to tell me that there going to eat now. I can feel his gaze on me. I don't acknowledge him. I don't care about food. Why should I eat? Do I deserve such a thing? Kyuubi is begging me to talk to Sasuke. He's acknowledging my presence. He seems to care. Should I tell him?
"I'm not hungry Sasuke. You guys can go on without me." There I said something.
"This isn't like you dobe." Sasuke decided he wanted to bug me. Oh well what can I do?
"Your right. Its not." I smirk at him in a creepy way.
"What's wrong?" He finally asks.
"What? You don't like the real me?" I chuckle darkly at this.
"The real you?" Sasuke looks confused.
My chuckle turns into a laugh which then turns into tears. I don't know why I'm crying. Nor do I know why I'm doing it in front of him. Have I mentioned that I don't really like Sakura at all? I'm trying to hide how much I hate her by driving her away with my apparent love sickness for her. Why should I like her? All she has ever shown me is anger and annoyance.
While I'm laughing and crying I turn on my side so he can't see my tears. I stare at the wall as I hear him sigh and move over to my bed. I don't say anything and just as he's about to say something Kakashi and Sakura come in looking for Sasuke and me. No one knows I'm crying... I've somehow managed not to shake as silent sobs try to destroy all my carefully built walls that protected the real me. The horrible... Depressed... Me. I will not break down. I will not break down... I... Will... Not... Break... Down!
"What's wrong with Naruto?" Sakura asks as they evaluate the situation.
"He says he's not hungry and then he just started laughing hysterically." Sasuke told them.
"He's been acting strange ever since we left Konoha." Kakashi muttered.
"Don't talk about me like I'm not here." I manage to spit out.
"What's wrong?" Kakashi asks and this time I just can't take it anymore. I have to let this out and now!
"You want to know what's wrong with me? I'll tell you what's wrong with me!" I scream as I whip around while knocking Sasuke onto the floor. They must have seen my tears but I don't care anymore. All I want to do is get away from them.
Sasuke backs away from me fearfully. Well I never thought I'd see the day where mister high and mighty is cowering because of me. I can feel my chakra just bursting to be set free. I feel like I'm going to self destruct here and now. I grab my bag and jump out the window. I run into the forest just as my chakra becomes uncontrollable. I stop in a clearing after dropping my bag at its edge and just fall onto my knees and I start to cry again.
My chakra is swirling around me and everything it touches it destroys. I can feel them enter the clearing but they stay away as I let it all out. The loneliness... The anger... The fear... Everything I've buried for so long. I let out an anguished scream before I start to hit the ground with my hands. Unbelievable pain flows through my veins. I can smell there fear. I can almost taste it. With a final cry I pull the chakra back in. A stunned silence filled the air as I turned back to them. I carefully wiped my face clean of all the tears I had shed before I decided to fill the silence.
"You never noticed..." My deepened voice announced after a few minutes of silence.
"All the pain I've been going through... You've never noticed that all those smiles were fake..." I continue as they continue to stare at me.
"I've been so alone for a long time now. I've been so afraid that if I showed my true self... That I would be ignored again. I don't want this pain anymore..." I whisper as I look away from them.
"What pain can an dobe like you feel?" Sasuke's arrogant voice slammed into my ears.
"More pain then you could ever feel. I've never had a family. I've never had anyone care about me. All I've ever received in my short life is hatred for something I couldn't control. For something I'm not. I didn't even do anything! All I've ever received is glares! All I've ever received is beating after beating. I never deserved any of it..." My rage was just barely controlled.
"Why do they hate you?" Came Sakura's timid question.
"What beatings?" Sasuke says at the same time.
I look over at Kakashi's wide eye as I answer, "The Kyuubi couldn't be killed so instead the Fourth sacrificed his life in order to save his village. He took a newborn babe whose umbilical cord had just been cut and sealed the Kyuubi in that babe. That baby was me.
"And those idiot villagers hate me for what I am. They call me a demon when all I really am is its container. I am not the Kyuubi. I was supposed to be a hero. Instead of love, I receive hatred and fear and beatings from clueless prejudiced people." Silence filled the air once again after my story was shared.
"So that's why they hate you..." Sakura mumbled.
Sakura's and Sasuke's eyes were wide but soon understanding filled them. Kakashi stood there watching there reactions.
"I didn't even know until two years before graduation." I told them.
I just watched them as they thought it over. After five minutes I get up and start to walk in the direction of Konoha. I figure the other Genins would find out soon because of these two. So I may as well go and face the music.
"Where are you going?" Sasuke asked.
"Back to Konoha. I figured now that you two know you'll hate me even more and that you'll tell the others." I turn to look at them and I find myself speechless.
There is no hatred in there eyes. Only sorrow. Are they sad... for me? Kakashi is smiling and with a poof of smoke he's gone and back again with the others packs.
"We don't hate you Naruto... Had we known how much pain you were in... We would have stopped it long ago." Sakura said with a smile.
"Does this mean I don't have to hide behind a mask anymore?" I ask just barely keeping the hope from entering my voice.
"We want to get to know the real you... Dobe." Sasuke said with a smile as they walked toward me.
I smile a real genuine smile for the first time ever. Maybe I could get used to this. They didn't turn there backs on me. Maybe just maybe we've grown stronger and more united now. Maybe I can learn to trust them. Maybe just maybe I can finally learn to love. How could one night filled with such night terrors bring forth such a positive thing? I now know we are ready to take the next step as a team. I think we're finally ready for the Chunin exams.
The End.
A/N Well I hope you like my little story. I've been wanting to write a Naruto story for awhile now. Now I guess I could add more to this story but I think this is good enough. Let me know what you think but please no flames. As I said before this is my first Naruto fic. If you all like it then I may try another cause I've had this idea stuck in my head for awhile now but I figured I should start with something simple. Now since the jutsu's are so complicated (at least to me.) I decided to keep it simple here. While I didn't give it a name or anything I didn't think it needed one at least for this story. Please review. Ciao for now.
Karone