Just a few hours ago, Summer had been crying about high school ending. What a friggin joke. It s not like anyone died or anything, But now someone was dead. Her best friend. Summer had only felt this way one other time before. When her mother left them. And it wasn t even this bad, no, Marissa was gone forever. Summer didn t know what to do when Mrs. Cohen hysterically explained Marissa s death to she and Seth. So she slapped Cohen in the face, and ran out of that house, she had to go somewhere. So she got in her car and drove to her house. She ran upstairs, ignoring a sobbing Julie on her couch. She slid down the wall of her walk-in closet. This is where she and Marissa would hide when they didn t want to leave each other after sleep overs when they were 5. This is where she and Marissa would stay up all night long with chocolate ice cream and talk about boys. This is where she and Marissa would give each other makeover s and dress up for dances. This is where they both had their first kiss. This is where they would sober each other up. Summer could feel Marissa in this closet. "Why?" , is all Summer could manage to say. Why did Marissa leave? Better question, why is Summer still here. Summer went over to her dresser, and pulled out a sharp blade. Flashback. 14 year old Summer Roberts was not a happy girl. To everyone else, she was. She had the perfect dad, perfect step mom, and they took perfect vacations and Summer got to stay alone in her perfect house and throw perfect parties. What they didn t know is that she drank perfect alcohol until she perfectly passed out. And then when she regained consciousness, she realized her best friend wasn t there to see that she was okay. Her life sucked. What people also didn t know, was that she cut herself, and thought about death 24/7. Summer told only Marissa. So that maybe Marissa would care more about her, and be careful not to make her upset. She freaked Marissa out with stories of how Summer wanted to kill herself, but whenever Marissa brought up therapy, Summer said it was just a phase. Marissa wasn t kinder to Summer, and forgot about her a little bit when she got back together with Luke again. Summer felt alone, and afraid. But what she didn t realize was that Marissa was standing by her, most people she knew wouldn t deal with this kind of problem, but Marissa was. Summer didn t see that at the time. And Marissa spent so much time with Holly, it just felt like Summer was the last thing on Marissa s list. One night when Marissa went to the movies with Luke and Holly without even calling Summer, she felt so sad and angry, she didn t know what to do. She hadn t cut herself for a while, she was trying to stop so she could go to her 8th grade dance without cuts all over her wrists. But she was so upset, she just grabbed the blade she had stashed away in the back of her dresser. Summer was normally a happy girl. Or that s how it appeared to everyone else. She pointed the blade slightly upward towards her wrist, and closed her eyes. She dug across her wrist. Summer smiled at the sight of the red liquid oozing out of her skin. The blood made her feel better. Like she was getting pay back for being such a bitch, and being too bad of a friend to not be invited places. The only thing she liked more then the blood, were the scars. Even though she had to wear about 6 elastics to cover them up, she loved seeing the scars. They were a reminder that she was doing something about the person she was. She laughed a little bit, and then felt the pain. Blinding pain. She dug too deep. She started crying hysterically. She got over that quick, and started in a different place. She repeated this over and over again. She then fell asleep on the floor, with a wet towel over her wrist. Three hours later, Marissa entered Summer s bedroom. Her mouth dropped open at this sight. Her eye s filled up with tears a little bit, but then she changed Summer s bloody shirt, and cleaned up her wrist, and washed the towel. She picked Summer up best she could, and put her on her bed. She kissed Summer s fore head, then fell asleep next to her, crying. Marissa brought Summer to therapy the next day, against Summer s will, and even though Summer hated her for the next 5 months, she got over her suicidal depression. End Flashback Summer thought back to her 8th grade year. It was the worst of her life. But she was taught that year how important her life was, and how she shouldn t hurt herself. Her therapist didn t teach her that. Marissa did. Marissa wasn t here now. But Marissa wouldn t want Summer to resort back to old ways just because she wasn t there. So Summer pulled the knife away from her wrist, and threw it away. She didn t need to hold onto these memories. They weren t worth remembering. Summer went in her closet and cried. She cried for the life that was lost, and the life that almost was.