RETURN MY LOVE

Summary: In doing what they each felt was best for the other, misunderstanding, pride, and pain tore them apart. Can they find their way back to each other despite their perceived notions and …. Inuyasha? (First attempt at fanfiction. Please RR.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

Chapter 1: FOUND!

His heart thundered loudly inside the small confining cavity of his chest. A staccato of pounding beats reverberated and galloped madly like a wild horse out of control.

Before his very eyes stood the apparition that had haunted his dreams endlessly for the last two years. A sight he thought he would never see again on this side of life.

Hah! Human years meant nothing to him. The great Taiyoukai of the West was immortal. Free to live as he pleased and to do what he desired most. He was answerable to no one.

But yet those two short years were the longest span of his life. Even longer than the years that he had been alive. And that was only a short five centuries ago. The muscle in his jaw clenched tightly and sharp claws dug deep enough to draw blood that Sesshomaru could feel a slight dampness in his fisted palm.

A monumental anger rose like bile in his mouth but he forcefully clamped it down while trying to gather his wits about him. Like a mother who punished her lost child after swearing that she would forgive him of anything if only he return safe and sound to her arms again, Sesshomaru almost forgot his vow to maintain a calm façade.

How dared she put him through that excruciating misery! Not one word nor even a breath of her whereabouts.

She had disappeared like a thief in the night with only a few strands of precious hair left haphazardly behind on the floor of her chamber. The mere sight of them relentlessly pierced at his normally implacable conscience of longing thoughts for their owner. Thoughts of whether she was safe and warm somewhere in this vast land, of whether she was eating properly, or resting sufficiently, or even falling in love with a man, had flitted constantly in his mind during her long absence. He, who had never cared about anyone else's welfare, found his happiness so deeply and irrevocably anchored to this human girl.

But because of his enormous arrogance and sheer stupidity, Rin had left him, believing that she had no prominence in his life. That she was nothing of value in his grand scheme of conquest for power.

Power. She believed that was and always had been her lord's primary focus.

Of course, how could she not? He wondered while berating himself silently. She was constantly reminded of her lord's seemingly unswerving agenda due to Jaken's ceaseless and idiotic blatherings, and of course, Sesshomaru's haughty silence only added weight to her preconceived notions.

Yet apparently, she was never grudging or apprehensive about his intent. To her adoring eyes, her Lord Sesshomaru was easily the most powerful demon alive. His skills knew no bound and it was justified that he sought to maintain his supremacy. Knowing Rin, Sesshomaru never doubted her steadfast defense of his relentless clamor for power, his chosen path. But of course, she would always put his needs paramount to her own even at the risk of her own life.

Not that she didn't realize his weakness nor his arrogance. She was not foolish to mindlessly idolize him. She knew he had feet of clay; had faults like everyone else. They were not revealed as frequently but Sesshomaru knew he certainly had both his fits and his lighter moments which he allowed no one to witness except for her. But in spite of or perhaps because of those flaws, she cared about him. Not as lord, not as the most powerful demon, and certainly not as the wealthiest creature in almost all of Japan. But just as a being with a heart, as a creature who could appreciate the beauty of moonlight, who had provided shelter to an orphan lost and alone, and who had cooperated with his hanyou half-brother to destroy evil for the peace of their lands.

So when did his quest for power become secondary to her safety?

How did her feelings, her joy get so intimately woven, so necessary to his happiness?

Sesshomaru did not want to believe that his pride could so immediately take a back seat to a mere slip of a girl. If he were truthful with himself, he would have to acknowledge her power over him begun from that first moment.

Yet, in all their years together, she was profoundly conscious that his focus certainly was not some weakling of a human child who was only a short blight on his unceasing life. And when that focus deviated, the lord could not find it within him to tell her. Damn his reluctant, repressed nature. Years and centuries of self sufficiency and aloneness, Lord Sesshomaru's guardedness became second nature, as automatic as breathing. It was only recently that the dog demon was honest to realize the blame of her misperception rested entirely on his shoulders. How he had berated himself for his foolishness which only left him in a vast empty vacuum without her.

----XX-----

After quickly realizing Rin had disappeared, Sesshomaru had turned the world upside down in searching for her. His wrath was frightening to witness; it was even more terrifying because it was so blatant, so obvious since he did nothing to disguise his displeasure. In fact, he seemed to revel in it. Sesshomaru had always thought before he speak, strategized before he act to ensure his imminent victory, assessed before making a move in a given direction.

But he did not realize how truly powerful he was when he felt that there was nothing on heaven, earth or hell to keep him from finding her. All stops were unplugged. No bars held. The lord's incalculable strength and energy that he poured into this effort knew no limit.

In the beginning of his search for the missing girl, his ruthlessness achieved even greater heights than even before he met the girl child on that fateful day. One wrong word spoken by demons whom he sought information about her and those demons would be slain. One belittling snickering about the human girl meant instantaneous death to the speaker.

Yet the days became months and months became years. His wrath became less vitriolic but his temperament worsened. It was as though he had become more numbed and more yielding to the inevitable fact that perhaps he would never see his human girl again. The one he had painstakingly nurtured to adulthood. She would never know of the numerous times when human ailments fell upon her and of how he hovered nearby anxiously monitoring her recuperation, unbeknownst to the other servants. She would never know that he had turned many suitors away because he thought she was not psychologically or physically ready to handle that side of intimacy just yet. She was not to know that he enjoyed her soothing presence more than he let on. She was not to know that he felt something akin to a small state of panic when she became hurt or injured in this violent world of theirs.

Somewhere along the way, his protectiveness took on a different flavor.

It became something more ardent, more possessive, more lover-like and Sesshomaru did NOT like that one bit. It had taken him a while to come to terms with his feelings for her. His staunch refusal to acknowledge that she meant something to him may have been too late.

Ever since her disappearance, gloom hung heavily in his heart, but on the outside, if it were possible, he was colder, more impassive and more withdrawn into himself.

In the past, when Rin was still traveling with them, Sesshomaru would deliberately stop more often at his homeland on the pretext of filling supplies, catching up on news, and getting status on his home front. It was done wordlessly but the unheralded thoughtfulness didn't go unnoticed by the young girl. For his pain, she would flash those extra bright smiles that lit up her face even more acknowledging her gratefulness for his action.

Now, Jaken lamented the fact that the lord was almost never at home. It was as if the house indicted him of his own folly and it never failed to remind him that the human was no longer residing there. Lord Sesshomaru seemed anxious to leave that oppressive mood for the open territory almost immediately whenever he stopped by home. What upset Jaken more was that lord Sesshomaru-sama now preferred to travel by himself. Even Jaken was forbidden to come along. Indeed, Sesshomaru had quite given up hope of finding the girl. The dog demon had never realized what power this slight creature held over him until she was no longer at his side. Because of her, he finally acknowledged to himself the depth and magnitude of his feelings for her.

Yet, he never thought he would see his human again in such strange circumstances….

TBC

88888888888888888