Once again Penny has shredded the disclaimer telling you that I don't own any X-Men characters. Here's another of my Evo-tized version of Penance and all the fun and craziness she causes from her own perspective. See what fun we have when…
Penny Goes To The Grocery Store
Penny is happy today! The sun is shining! The birds are singing. And the squirrels are screaming especially loud when they are shredded.
Penny is happily wandering in the yard when she sees Scott and Ororo. They are headed to the garage. They are going on a trip! Maybe Penny can come too!
"Penny! No! Stay here!" Scott said. "You can't come with us. It's not safe. Especially for other people."
"We're going to the grocery store," Ororo says as she gets ready to get inside the van. "Be good Penny."
But Penny wants to go too. She has never seen a grocery store and wants to know what one is. She doesn't want to stay behind.
"Hey guys!" Kitty walks through the walls. "Could you get me a few things while you're going?"
Look! The back door of the van is open! While Kitty is talking to Scott and Ororo Penny decides to sneak in and hide. Quiet Penny! Hide in the back under a blanket!
Soon the truck is moving and Scott and Ororo are talking about grown up things called lawsuits and traffic accidents. Penny can't wait to see the grocery store!
"I can't believe we have to drive four towns over just to buy groceries," Scott grumbles. He is rarely happy.
"Well maybe no one will recognize us at this store?" Ororo sounds a little sad.
Penny wonders why the grown ups are always so unhappy. She always makes sure they have plenty of dead squirrels to play with. And she always attacks people called mailmen who threaten their home. And sometimes policemen and lawyers too.
Oh well, grown ups are funny that way.
It takes a long, long time before the van stops. Penny can't wait to see what the grocery store looks like. She waits until Scott and Ororo leave the van and she sneaks out after them.
Oh my! The Grocery Store is huge! There are so many people coming in and out with a lot of bags full of things! What's inside? Let's go look Penny!
Penny starts to follow Ororo and Scott inside. She decides to surprise them. That will make them happy!
Oooh! Look how the doors slide open! How fun! Open! Close! Open! Close! Open! Close! This is fun!
"Stop fooling around with our door!" A very angry man shouts at her. "There are customers trying to get in! Go away you pink freak! No! Get out of here!"
Penny runs inside. Oooh! There are so many good things to eat and taste.
Look at all the apples! There are red ones and green ones and even a yellowish one! And they are all shiny! And they all taste so good!
And there are grapes and oranges and even watermelon to slice! They are tasty too! Penny must try mouthfuls of them all.
"Clean up in Produce!"
"Stop eating the fruit you little…" The Angry Man is back. He must want some fruit! Penny decides to give him some. And she decides to give fruit to the people around her too.
"AAHHHH!" A lady screams as an orange hits her head. "Some crazy mutant is throwing fruit at us!"
"Why you little…" The Angry Man looms over her.
Have a watermelon Mister Angry Man!
"Get this off my head!" The Angry Man screams as Penny places a watermelon over his head. Look! It's Mister Watermelon Head!
Penny then decides to stop snacking and go find Ororo and Scott. She sees a place where it is cold and there are fish in a clear counter. Ooh! Look Penny! Look at the funny creatures that have big claws and tails. They all look so sad huddled together in that big tank. That tank is way too crowded! Penny decides that she needs to take the creatures out of the tank! That will make them happy!
Not to mention to snap all the rubber bands off them so they can use their claws! Yes! They are very happy now!
"What are you doing in my tank you little…AAAAHH!" A man comes up to her. So Penny throws him a clawed creature for him to hold. It grabs right onto his nose! Oh look! It wants to be friends!
Maybe all the other creatures want friends too! Penny tries to give as many people as she can new friends to play with!
"AAAHHHHH!"
"GET THIS THING OFF ME!"
"AAAHHHH! THAT HURTS!"
"OH GOD THE LOBSTERS ARE TAKING OVER AREN'T THEY?"
"Clean up in Seafood!"
Penny decides to keep one friend for herself. She names him Mr. Claws! Come Mr. Claws! Let's go find Ororo and Scott! Where could they be?
Look Mr. Claws! Look at all the shiny cans! People are putting all the shiny cans into shiny wheeled baskets. Penny decides that she will help people put stuff in the shiny baskets.
Here everyone! Take all the cans and stuff you want! Clear the shelves! This should make you happy!
"AAAAHHHH!"
"CRAZY MUTANT ON THE LOOSE!"
"WATCH OUT FOR THE FLYING CANS!"
"Clean up on Aisle Two…And Three…"
CRASH!
"And Four…"
"Get away from me you little pink devil!" A funny lady in a black outfit and a funny white and black head covering on her head waves her finger at Penny.
Maybe she won't be mad if she says hello to Mr. Claws?
"AAHHHH! HEAVEN SAVE ME! GET THIS THING OFF ME! AAHHH!"
Penny decides to leave those two alone and goes down another aisle.
Look at all the shiny bottles. Penny casually slices one open. Some sweet smelling goo drips out. It's the stuff that Penny uses when she takes a bath! It's sticky but it smells so nice.
Penny decides that maybe the floor needs a bath. It does look a little dirty.
SLICE! SLICE! SLICE! SLICE! SLICE! SLICE!
Penny uses her sharp hands to cut all the bottles on the shelves in half and dumps as much of the sticky stuff on the floor. Look at all the pretty goo on the floor! It will make it nice and clean.
Penny sees some bottles still on the shelf high above her. Penny tries to reach them by jumping but she can't do it. Climb the shelves Penny! That's the way to go!
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY STORE YOU LITTLE PINK…" Mr. Angry Man is back again. Penny cuts the bottles just as he runs up. The man slips and slides all the way into the wall!
Look! Mr. Angry man is cleaning the floor with his back!
"AAHHHHHH!"
CRASH!
There he goes!
"SOMEBODY GET THAT LITTLE PINK MUTANT FREAK!" Mr. Angry Man screamed. "AAH! MY ANKLE! THAT LITTLE MONSTER SPRAINED MY ANKLE!"
"Oh please let it not be her," Scott grumbled as he ran into the aisle. "Please let it be anything but…PENNY!"
Look how fast Scott slides on the floor. My that goo is slippery.
CRASH!
"Clean up on aisle…Oh forget it. I quit!"
"Scott!" Ororo went into the aisle, but not as fast as Scott. "Penny! Get down there! How did you manage to follow us?"
Ororo is here! Yay! Maybe she will play with Penny!
"PENNY! NO! DOWN GIRL!" Ororo shouted. "NO HUGS! NO HUGS!"
"MUTANTS! SOMEBODY CALL THE COPS!" The Angry Man screams.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
About an hour later back at the Institute…
"Did you get anything…?" Kitty began then she turned around and saw Ororo and Scott. Ororo's clothes were torn. Scott was covered in shampoo and bruises. They both had tomato stains on their clothes.
"Yes, they had a special on humiliation, angry mobs and tomatoes," Scott told her.
"Storm! What happened to you?" Kitty gasped.
"Why are you covered in shampoo and bath gel?" Rogue asked Scott. Penny bounded in on all fours with a fish in her teeth. "Oh…"
"You know I was wondering why there were squirrels in the backyard," Kitty remarked. "And why they weren't being shredded."
"What did she do?" Kitty asked.
"What didn't she do?" Ororo moaned.
"She was throwing fruit and lobsters at people," Scott began as he sat down. "Ate a quarter of the fruit in the produce department, threw cans and other things off the shelves and into people's baskets…"
"And onto the floor," Ororo slumped in her seat. "Attacked a nun…"
"Oh boy…" Rogue winced.
"Threw a ton of shampoo and bath gel all over the floor so not only did I fall down more times than Tonya Harding at the Olympics, she sent several other people flying into a wall…" Scott groaned. "Including the store manager who had to be sent to the hospital. And then the angry mob that formed nearly sent us to the hospital!"
"And the worst part of it all was that when Penance snuck out of the van she left the back doors open," Ororo gave Penny a very harsh look. "Someone snuck in the van and stole it. I had to create a fog barrier while we ran for our lives!"
"Couldn't you like fly Storm?" Kitty asked.
"Have you ever tried to fly while carrying two mutants at the same time and one of them is a hyperactive pink knife?" Ororo asked her. "And the other one is screaming about why everything in the world happens to him? It wasn't pretty."
"We finally got a cab about two miles away from the store and were able to drive home," Scott moaned.
"Drive home?" Rogue asked. "Don't you mean ride home?"
"No, Penny wandered a bit ahead of us and by the time we caught up to her there was this cab driver running away with shredded pants and a lobster on his behind screaming for the cops," Scott told her. "We figured we might as well get a ride out of it since we were going to get blamed anyway."
Penny happily put the fish down in front of Scott on the table. "No Penny, I don't want Mr. Fish," He said in an acid tone. "What I want is for you to act like a human being!"
"Like that's going to happen," Kitty rolled her eyes.
"All right Penance," Ororo got to her feet. "It's time for you to go into the time out room again."
"Uh, Storm…" Rogue held up her hand. "She was in the time out room earlier today. For about three minutes before she cut her way out."
"AGAIN?" Scott shouted. "But we reinforced the door and the walls with adamantium this time!"
"Yeah, but you forgot to do the floor," Rogue told him.
"Oh…" Scott got up and pounded his head against the wall. "Why? Why? Why? Why?"
Penny doesn't understand why Scott and Ororo are so upset and tired. She had a fun day out! She made a lot of new friends and ate a lot of good food and shredded some shiny stuff!
Penny then thought that some people just aren't very good at shopping.