For more than a year I came to know who you are,
I was always fascinated by everything that was you,
And everything you had, good or bad
On the days I haven't seen you, I missed you
Thinking of your smiling face had made me a happy
When I cried on your shoulder, I realized you were the first
Yet I fell on you like it was always something I do
We both had shared scars, wounds and sadness
And wept in each other's arms
And for the first time in my life, I felt I knew someone truly special
Someone who understood me, liked all of me
And everything I had, good or bad
But as time passed, I came to realize that my feelings weren't even complete
I knew I felt something else, something different for you
For some reason, I treasured your embraces and simple touches
And when those times happened, I felt a strange sensation
It took me weeks of wondering, days of thinking
I had thought on several occasions that it simply cannot be
What I had in my mind, and what everything around me were saying
They all matched and reluctantly I accepted it as what it really was: love.
But the time it took to tell you took even longer
While I had been caught up in my thoughts I had strained yours
And forced your unwilling self to give up what I had always hoped you felt
The whole time it was in front of me
And my ignorance blinded me
My heart had split in two and my joy dissipated
Yet I was surprised my soul told me I still loved you
So I took the pain, hid it and smiled a smile for you
So you won't experience what I was going through
Not only that, but I did foolish things to get you to look my way again
Guilty yet desperate, I cried for days and for the first time in my life
Felt what heartbreak and its pain alone
Yet you felt it too because of me, so I deserve even more
But despite everything, I still loved you
If I had to give my life to save yours I would
I would've done anything to make you happy
For I learned that I was the slave of your heart
And I craved to give it everything it needed
I wanted to melt in your arms and to feel your lips against mine again
Selfish I am, but I knew it was true
Yet my true foolishness struck the final blow,
And cut all the strings that could've held us together
I am so sorry
But now I've figured
It could've been better if we had never met,
I wouldn't have cost and caused you any trouble
I wouldn't have given you any pain
I wouldn't have to crave for you in this one-sided love
That until now stays
I wouldn't have taken advantage of your kindness
And ignored your love when you needed it
I am so so sorry
And so, I have found a solution that is nearly as good as this regret
I will cut off the last string
I will say the last words
I will see the last of your face in reality
I will save all the memories we had to this very last
I will leave you in the only way I can
Very soon, you will never know when
And I will never tell you, because you will never see me
The truth reality will bring you is harsh but you will learn to accept it
How could I do all this yet I know the pain it takes?
It is because of one thing and one thing only
I love you
I love you so much that I am willing to do anything and sacrifice everything
to make you the happiest person in the world
I will give you all my joy
Endure anything for you
It is said that love is the strongest thing in the world
Because in love you will find joy in making
The person that you love happy
Whether you are happy or not
I learnt this, no, realized this
So…
Farewell.
But please don't ever forget that I…
…will always love you no matter what.