Disclaimer- I don't own Artemis Fowl. Eoin does.
A/N- I was in the middle of writing the next chapter of Love is Confusing when I got writers block. So I decided to post a fic that I wrote a year ago. I've written another chapter just in case anyone wants me to continue.
Chapter One.
Dear Diary.
I am writing in you with a new pen. I love my new pen. It is pretty and shiny. Gold is pretty and shiny and so are diamonds. All my favourite things are pretty and shiny except for money. For some reason money isn't pretty or shiny. It confuses me and that is saying something for I am not easily confused.
Juliets makeup is pretty and sometimes it is shiny too. When Butler and Juliet were not around I tried on some of her makeup. I looked much prettier and shinier than Juliet. Juliet almost caught me doing sexy poses in the mirror so I locked the bathroom door. When she asked me what I was doing I told her that I was constipated but in really big words so that she didn't understand me.
I am very impressed with my vocabulary, sometimes I say words so big that I don't even understand myself. It pays to read a dictionary.
Better go, Mother will be back soon and I don't want her to catch me with her pretty and shiny high heels on.
A/N- The writing style changes a lot in the next chapter. Beware! Also, please review.