A/N: The town they live in is based of a small town named Marquette, in Michigan, a place where most my family on my mom's side lives and a place I hold dear to my heart. Also, the song I named this story after really sets the mood for the story. Only if you like indie music though (:
Don't Let it Pass - Junip
What's in your hand
You're pinned down to routines
Elevate and leave
The flickering screen
Where nothing is compromised
Nothing is lost
When everything is realized
Nothing is crossed
But don't let it pass
Don't get locked in
Everything starts
Way from within
Where nothing is compromised
Nothing is lost
When everything is realized
Nothing is crossed
But don't let it pass
There he was, leaning against the wall outside the small shop where she had used the restroom, waiting patiently for her to do what she needed to do. As she walks toward him, she hates that her heart flutters just a bit when he looks her way, just like she hates that she knew the corner of his mouth would quirk up a little when he sees her.
He pushes his back off the wall, hands still in his pockets.
"Where to next?" he asks.
Temari takes a big inhale and thinks for a moment.
"Well," She starts, exhaling. "We can go to that park over on Birch Street? They have swings."
"Holy shit swings?" He gasps with mock excitement. "Jackpot. Let's go then."
Temari rolls her eyes and Shikamaru joins her at her side as they make their way down the sidewalk. The sun has already disappeared beyond the horizon, leaving streaks of orange and pink behind. The street lights flicker on, giving another sign that the evening was slowly melding into the night. The drop in temperature had been the first sign, and Temari thought about how she had urged Shikamaru to bring a jacket earlier that day. He had grumbled about it at the time, but he listened to her of course. He was certainly wearing it now.
It wasn't particularly busy, considering it was the weekend. A few cars on the streets now and then, or some people lingering on the outside of bars, their chatter coming and going as Temari and Shikamaru passed them. Other than that, the only sound that filled their ears was the scuffling of their shoes on the pavement. That was one of the pros of living in a fairly small town; you could pretty much walk to wherever you wanted to go if you needed to. It may take longer, but it was normal to them. They were in no rush to get anywhere anyway.
"I wonder if they've noticed we left yet." Shikamaru is the first to break the easy silence.
Temari gives a small snort. "Probably not. Ino seemed pretty set with that Sai guy and I'm pretty sure Naruto is challenging someone to some sort of drinking game. It's too bad Hinata couldn't be there, she can usually chill him out."
"Yeah" Shikamaru chuckles. "I've noticed that. I think we deuced out of there before anything could get too crazy, though."
"Well I can definitely rest easy knowing that you all are actually legally allowed to be drinking now. I swear, I felt like I was encouraging criminal behavior for a while there."
Shikamaru scoffs into a laugh "'Criminal behavior'."
Temari returns his laughter, giving him a quick glance before returning her gaze ahead of them. He looked particularly attractive tonight. He was wearing black jeans with a sweater underneath his jacket that was honestly kind of ugly in her opinion, with its zig-zag patterns and earthy colors, but she wasn't some fashion guru and neither was he. He probably wore it because it was kind of ugly anyway. His hair was half up in a small, loose bun on the back of his head and half down, the dark locks falling just a little bit past his shoulders. She has completely given up on inwardly denying her attraction to him for some time now.
She thinks about the inner war with herself she has been fighting since the first time some type of small feeling towards Shikamaru presented itself in her thoughts. Oh, how she fought, valiantly, stubbornly, giving reason after reason why she shouldn't allow any spark of affection to be fueled. He was younger than her, she didn't have time for a boyfriend, she wasn't ready for commitment, she wasn't romantic, etcetera, etcetera. It did nothing to damper the flame that has grown into a wildfire.
She's helplessly caught drowning and burning all at the same time and she hates it. She was never the type of girl to get mushy because of some boy, not even in her teenage years, yet here she was with her stomach twisting and her heart pounding, heat creeping its way into her cheeks like some love-struck school girl. There were times she wanted to grab him and shake him, shouting 'look what you've done to me' right into his face.
She knows he probably has feelings for her, too. She wasn't clueless.
She could see it in the way she caught him looking at her, in the way his eyes zeroed in on her in a group of their friends, the way he laughs at her dry humor when no one else does.
She sees it in the way his lazy-ass will drive to the convenience store to get her favorite candy and drink when she's being an absolute monster on her period without her ever even asking.
She sees it in the way he knows her favorite foods and drinks, TV shows and places, movies and books.
Most of all, she sees it in the way he'll open up to her at the rarest times, telling her things he says he doesn't want her to repeat to anyone else and of course she would never.
Temari really feels like he's not even trying to be discreet about it, dropping hints here and there while she's trying desperately to hide every bit of evidence that she knows all the same things about him, that every look he gives her is just a reflection of her own feelings.
He's never gone and said outright that he wants to date her or that he likes her in that way, she just knows him that well over the past two years of living with him and Ino and Choji. She knows him so well and it's so dumb that she even knows he probably won't say anything to her about how he feels because she really hasn't shown any signs that she likes him any more than a good friend. She's observant, and so is he.
He would know right away that she likes him if she let herself be as careless with her emotions as he does and that's where Temari begins to panic. She never held herself back for fear that he doesn't feel the same way, it's because he does feel the same. She knows that if she opens up that part of herself there's nothing left to do except date and be together and all those couple shenanigans she's so painfully bad at. She would have to accept being vulnerable and handing her heart over to someone else, which is something she was never able to do in past relationships.
A little voice in her head tells her that this is different because you never felt this way about those other guys, that this is different because this is Shikamaru, and being a couple means being close to him and kissing him and touching him and everything your mind has drifted to when it's 3 am, you can't sleep, and his TV is on just down the hall.
Well goddammit enough was enough and as she looked at herself in the mirror of the bathroom that night, she decided 'fuck it'. She's gonna tell him how she felt tonight and that was gonna be that. She was not going to chicken out because she's Temari, and she'd be damned if she was gonna let herself be a coward.
So, as they silently make their way to some dumb park that has swings, Temari gathers every ounce of courage she has in her body. He doesn't say anything more to her as they stride along and she's fine with that. They had gotten over uncomfortable silences a long time ago. They were just fine being around each other without filling every empty space with menial chatter, much unlike the other female that lived with them.
It was probably about twenty minutes before they reach the park from their starting point down town.
The old buildings of what could hardly be called the 'city' gradually merge into smaller convenience stores and small shops until actual homes can be seen. The sky had darkened significantly, most of the light now coming from street lamps and porch lights on distant houses.
The park was somewhat shoddy, old, possibly hastily revamped over the years. The actual playground itself was small, not more than a slide and a few contraptions for children to climb on, and then a patchy, concrete basketball court off to the side, with no net on the hoop. Most of the actual park was grass and trees.
None of it really mattered, though, because there were indeed swings as she had said. Now that she thinks about it, the swings were really their only reason for walking all the way from down could have said anywhere, hell, they could have even gone home if they really wanted to. Neither of them really ever want to go out with their friends anyway, but here they are, still out in the night and sitting down on some shitty, squeaky swings at around 9:00 on a Saturday night.
"I haven't actually swung on swings in a long time." Shikamaru says as he grabs the chains on either side of him and lowers himself down onto the rubber seat. His legs are too long, and the seat is too low.
"You look dumb." Temari snickers as she sits on the swing next to him. She's a fair amount shorter than him, so the level of the swing isn't too bad for her.
"Well I remember why I don't swing on swings now." He drawls, stretching out his bent knees and digging his heels into the gravel.
"I used to like these swings when I was a kid though. My dad would take me here."
Temari hums in reply, rocking herself on the swing a little as Shikamaru continues.
"I pass by this park a lot, but I haven't actually been in it in a long time."
"Well," Temari starts. "It's kind of a shitty park."
"Yeah," he laughs. "It is, but I doubt the parks in Phoenix are any better."
"Uhm, excuse you! They were pretty great actually."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah. Most of them were new and big and had a bunch of cool shit you could climb on with big slides. I remember one that even had one of those rock climbing walls."
"Well shit, I guess I stand corrected."
Temari smirks over her small triumph.
Out of the corner of her eye and through her hair, she catches him giving her that look he always gives her when he thinks she doesn't notice. The one that reminds her of how he feels and how she feels and how they could be together but they're not because she's emotionally constipated and can't deal with romantic feelings. She frowns to herself. If she's going to confess her stupid feelings to him, she should probably just get it over with.
"Hey, Shikamaru?" She speaks before she can convince herself otherwise.
He says 'yeah' in response and he's looking at her but she keeps her face forward, her hair blocking it from his view.
"I have to tell you something."
He's hesitant at the change in her tone, but after a few seconds decides to go with the word "Anything."
That fucking sap. They aren't in some kind of indie movie.
"Well Okay," She begins, not really knowing how to begin.
"I've been thinking about this for a long time, about telling you that I-" She turns to look at him, which she immediately regrets because he's looking at her with those brown eyes and that blank expression, just waiting patiently for her to say what she needs to say.
"That Iiiiiii- hate you." She slaps her palm to her forehead, turning away.
"No okay that's not it, sorry."
Shikamaru's face contorts into confusion, which was something she hardly ever saw.
"Okay, Shikamaru, listen," She begins again, turning towards him.
"What I mean to say is that-" She sighs "Well. You... make me feel... some... type... of way... that's kind of really positive... but in a, I guess, more than... friend way."
Shikamaru stares at her for a moment, reading her expression, before looking down at his feet and grinning the biggest, most childish grin she's ever seen him make.
"Well," he sighs. "That's pretty nifty."
Temari can't stop the big, stupid grin that slowly stretches across her face or the snorting laughter that erupts from her. She throws her torso back, her arms outstretched, hands grasping the chains of the swing. She bellows so loudly that the sound fills the empty park.
Shikamaru watches her and a small chuckle escapes his throat before he, too begins to laugh as hard as she is.
She pulls herself up, weakly pointing at him and choking out "You're fuckin' dumb" between giggles. He just agrees and gradually comes down from the laughing fit with her. They're both looking at each other as they catch their breaths and subside with just a few short laughs here and there.
Temari sighs "So," She says. "What happens next?"
"Ah, well," Shikamaru chirps. "There's like some sort of initiation? I don't know, there's some paperwork, blah, blah, I think sacrifices to Satan are in there somewhere last time I checked, some dates, more paperwork, and then we become boyfriend and girlfriend, I think?"
Temari guffaws "Alright, when do we start?"
Shikamaru stands up, stretching and yawning "It starts with us going home, ordering pizza, and watching Netflix... or playing some Xbox, whatever you prefer, honestly."
Temari pulls herself up "Sounds like my kind of deal."
"Sweet let's go then." Shikamaru shoves his hands in his jeans pockets. "Should only take us about another 20 minutes to walk to the house from here, I think."
They both turn away from the swing set and trod onto the sidewalk. Out of the corner of her eye, Temari can see him give her that look again, the one he gives her when he thinks she isn't looking. She lets out a satisfied 'hm' and reaches for his hand in his pocket, pulling it out, and easily twining his fingers with her own. Somehow he grins even wider and so does she.
She feels so dumb and mushy and ridiculously pleased.
Oh well, no one is around to see, anyway.