A/N--After working on my Sirius journal story; I came to realize I loved the flash back scenerio, and I wanted a story around Severus to be similarly put out. I am still working on my Sirius story, but I wanted to begin this as well. Naturally I don't own Harry Potter or any of that just this story and of course my own characters in it.

Severus Snape had never prayed. He had made few wishes in his life for anything, and most of them had come to nothing. He wondered now as he stared into the distance if the one prayer that had come true was worth it. If in his painful life that something good was really worth all of the suffering he'd gone through. Even as a child a girl had driven his ambition, his goals. Now it seemed his life had turned around in a cycle. He sighed and thought back.

No one had ever found Severus Snape attractive. He pondered this to himself as he watched James Potter run after Lily with a wicked grin on his mouth. He wanted to go over and do something; but after his latest argument with her it seemed stupid to even try. No, he was sure he would end up spending his whole life pining after Lily Evans. Silently he made a prayer someone else would come along and pull his mind away from her. He would work his whole life; do whatever it took for someone who would fall in love with him.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I know that you are always paying attention in potions..and with my friend always wanting to talk to me in that class I never take good notes. Mum says she'll curse my nose off if I don't get better marks..could I borrow your notes?"

She had long sun colored hair that trailed around her shoulders. Her nose turned up giving her a childlike expression of amusement. His dark eyes found her light chestnut ones, and he felt instantly as if someone had answered his every wish. He'd seen her though, but where he couldn't grasp. She sat down beside him, and smiled. "Well?"

"Yeah..of..of course."

"Thank you..it's so hard for me sometimes..honestly I can't imagine why I'd need to know any of these potions.." She looked out at the lake then back to him. "Thank you..I really needed help.."

She hadn't realized that he'd been wishing for her help as well.

Fate was fickle. Severus tried to shake his head from the memories and focus on the way the landscape zoomed by faster and faster. The Knight Bus never seemed to get any less ridiculous a ride, but he thought it would give him time to prepare something to say. He sighed, running his fingers through his dark greasy hair. He'd felt no need to clean up before leaving the house, but as he considered it he wished he had. It had been a long time…and here he was with a stuffed rabbit to give her. She would probably hate it. He sighed again and eyed the people on the train most of them asleep or reading the Daily Prophet. He felt the letter in his pocket with his fingers, the parchment wrinkled from the times he'd unfolded and refolded it. He wanted to read it there, but he worried the people around them would know. Would see it.

"We're here sir, Malfoy Manor. Rather spooky now an't it?" The boy who turned to speak to him waited for an answer, but the dark haired man just picked up his things and walked off the train leaving a few galleons before walking towards the large manor. The whole driveway felt cold, longer with every step. The house had seen better days, since the fall of Voldemort it was in shambles barely the grand home it had once been. He wondered if it had affected her much.

"You going to kiss me Severus?" The teenage girl just stared at him, her light brown eyes glittering with delight. The library was empty, and he'd been considering it as he went over the potions notes with her. Yes, he could easily reach over and kiss her, they were alone and she was so close..

"Of course not. I'm not suicidal..I know what would happen to me."

"Oh don't be a prat. It's just a kiss Severus..it won't mean anything.." She promised him softly caressing his hand with her own. He stared at their hands a while, and then up at her. He leaned over, and it felt as if eternity were there between their lips, until he felt their lips touch. It started chaste enough, but as she kissed back she deepened it, and books strewn across the table. Her lips tasted sweet, and he could smell something delicious on her. Some sort of perfume, like roses. Her robes were slipped off, and beneath she was wearing a fitted white t-shirt and jeans. She smoothed her fingers through his hair, and moved onto his lap. Far away though, the sound of footsteps made her go back to her seat in a flash, her robes pulled back on and her focus back on the book. Severus couldn't catch up, and found himself stupidly staring at her. What had happened?

Then he could see over her shoulder the blonde young man walked inside. He was out of Hogwarts, but he looked as if he could wander in when he felt like it. He stood next to her, reaching his hand out to touch her face. Severus was sure he could see her wince in a silent agony.

"My father wished I come visit…check in on my little fiancée'.." Lucius Malfoy's grey eyes moved over her, a smirk across his mouth. "Make sure you're keeping me in mind.."

"Of course Lucius..only you.." She looked up from the book, back at the man standing before her. " It's only a few months away before I'm out of here and..your wife."

"I've heard some reports that you've been spending an unusual amount of time with..less favourable people.."

"Severus has been helping me with work.."

"You know who I mean Persephone." Those grey eyes were sharp along with the young man's features, and she looked down like a wounded animal.

"I'll behave myself more appropriately, I promise." He kissed her forehead, and gave Severus a nod before leaving the library and them all alone.

Peacocks walked gingerly around the landscape. One or two, both of them looking as though they were hungry. He took his wand out and with a flick they were both eating hungrily at something between them. He gave a quiet sigh as he walked down towards the house again. He worried a moment that no one was there, that he'd come all this way for nothing when he saw a figure sitting outside. It was a young girl, with the sharp features of a Malfoy. He stared at her silently, watching as the child played with a toy wand twirling it freely between her chubby fingers. She must have been two or three.

"Mummy says if a stranger comes, I'm supposed to go inside. I'm waiting though." The girl's voice was surprisingly loud compared to the silence of the grounds. Severus just stood there a while and the girl coolly walked over. He felt scared, foolishly scared of this child. The girl looked up at him a while, and then her eyes filled with tears. He didn't know how to react, if he were better off going after her but when she went inside he knew that he was right to come. The little girl was waiting for him right? He stared up at the house, not back towards the little lane he'd been dropped off at. He was here for a reason. Someone in there was waiting for him, had been waiting too long.

Thanks for reading, any criticism or reviews are really appreciated. I really do love Severus, and thought that this would be very fun to write. I hope you've enjoyed the first chapter!