Sweet bro and Hella jeff were sitting in their home. They've been settled down for years, and an abode as humble as this one deserve a couple to settle down in it. A home that simply screams "GET INSIDE ME AND FUCK LIKE WRINKLY OLD DISGUSTING ANIMALS IN THE MASTER BEDROOM." However, this raises a question:Why is the home screaming? Well, perhaps because houses such as this one have an uncanny future vision, and this home can see the signs. The signs of a major negative force approaches. I'm talking a MAJOR FUCKING DISTURBANCE IN THE GOD DAMN FORCE. A SIGNIFICANT RUSSLING IN THE JIMMIES. Now lets cut the shit and get into the actual fucking plot, okay?
Sweet bro was dusting the fine china(that's not a sex joke you fucking idiot) on a rickety old ladder in the dining room. Hella Jeff walked in and watched his partner. Sweet bro accidentally fell down the ladder and hit the floor with a thud. "I WARNED YOU BOUT THE STAIRS BRO I TOLD YOU DAWG" "IT'S A LADDER YOU FUCKING FUCKASS" Sweetbro snapped. " hey, bb calm down. im just playin" "MY FUKKIN BACK COULD BE BROKEN YOU SELF-CENTERED SHITHOLE. ALL YOU EVER DO IS JOKE AROUND. YOU'RE GOING WELL INTO YOUR 50S CALM THE FUCK DOWN. ITS TIME FOR YOU TO GET SERIOUS" "yeah yeah i know, and im sorry bb." Hella Jeff decided to ascend to the attic, and take a peek out the skylight. "ahh, what a nice night. look at THESE FUKIN STARS BROOO. it shows how beautiful shit can be an . . . .-what the fuck is that."
It looks like a little something is approaching. And by a little something, I mean fuCKING PLUTO IS HEADING STRAIGHT FOR THIS LOCATION OH FUCK. Wait. WAIT! WAIT A HOT GOD DAMN MINUTE. HERE'S THE SOLUTION. Hella Jeff decides to grab the ILLEGAL BOTTLE ROCKET THAT HE OWNS FOR SOME MYSTICAL FUCKIN' REASON. He decides to launch it straight at the approaching planet. And as predicted, the whole fucking joke here is that it didn't work because no fucking shit it didn't work. It's a measly little tubular cardboard gun powder amalgamation, going against a rock that's almost as big as the moon. Almost. Hella jeff dashed down to the dining room, however, his significant other was absent from the house. Huh isn't that strange. When he decided to walk outside, he randomly encountered the mayor of his town "mayor what the shitballs is going on" "Well…someone launched Pluto out of orbit and towards the earth." "well then who the fuck launched the planet" "The person was…the person was you." PLOT TWIST FUCKERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
End of Chapter 1