Ciel clutches his chest as he bolts up in his bed, gasping for breath. Doll climbs down from her bunk, woken by the sudden noise. "Smile? What's wrong!?" She asks quietly, holding Ciel's shoulders.
Ciel manages to get his breathing and heartbeat under control, and answers, "I'm fine."
Doll frowns, replying, "You're obviously not fine. What happened," urgently.
"Just a nightmare." Ciel insists. "I'm fine. Go back to bed. We have to get up early anyway."
Doll hesitates, but goes back to bed anyway. She does stay up until Ciel falls back asleep, however.
Ciel just lays there, thinking back on his nightmare. The flashes of the man with the knife. The burning feeling from them branding him. His own screams reverberating off the walls of the cursed room. The immense pain and the stickiness from his own blood pooling on the pedestal under him. Sebastian showing up and murdering every single of them while Ciel watched. The feeling of being confined.
Ciel forces himself to relax, reminding himself he's not in that hell hole anymore. He lays back down, pulling the blankets back up his chin, returning to the terrifying black thing called sleep that conjured up the worst images that had been locked away for so long.
The next morning, Ciel is paler than usual and more withdrawn, ignoring even Sebastian, or Black as he's called. Doll keeps a close eye on him as they prepare the food and notices the differences, making a mental note to bring it up to Sebastian at a later time.
As they eat, Ciel hardly makes a dent in his small portion of food. The only reason he eats at all is because Doll makes him, pestering him relentlessly.
During practice, Ciel is worse than usual, falling more than before. Doll finally makes him take a break, guiding Ciel back to their tent to rest. Ciel fights her the whole way, insisting he's fine and can practice. "Smile, you're obviously not fine. Just take a break for today." Doll urges firmly, not giving Ciel much of a choice. "I'll leave you alone after dinner."
Ciel stops fighting, his energy already drained from practice. He settles on top of his bed, lying down at the pressure of Doll's hands, adamant he won't sleep, but drifts off anyway.
Doll watches as Ciel falls asleep, covering him with her own blanket so he won't catch a cold. She then goes to Joker and expresses her concern. "Smile is really tired, and I think he's been having nightmares when he sleeps. He only stopped fighting me because he seemed to be exhausted." She explains, a look of distress passing over her features.
Joker pats Doll's head and smiles. "If it gets worse, then we'll get involved. Until then, keep a close eye on him." He assures her. "If you're really worried, mention it to Black. He and Smile seem really close."
Doll nods, her fear not entirely diminished. "I will. Thank you, Joker."
"You're welcome. Now go on and practice." Joker urges, giving Doll a nudge towards the practice ring. Doll runs over, practicing like she's supposed to.
Sebastian notices Ciel's absence and approaches Doll about it. "Do you know where Smile is?" He inquires with Doll, his fake smile up.
"He was feeling tired, so I took him back to our tent to get some rest." Doll explains, deciding to leave out the nightmares for the time being. "He should be better by dinner."
Sebastian thanks her, returning to his practice while thinking of Ciel.
The night continues on, and Ciel shows back up at dinner, true to Doll's word. He's not quite as pale, but still lacking a bit of color in his skin.
For a few nights, the nightmares continue, growing to the point where Ciel can barely sleep before waking up clutching his chest and gasping for breath, but never making a sound past that. Doll ends up spending most of the night in the bed next to Ciel, so as to calm him down when he launches himself upwards.
On the fourth day after the nightmares start, Doll takes Ciel to the shower. When messing with him and trying to take off his shirt, Doll notices a brand mark on the left side of Ciel's back.
Before he can say anything, Ciel shouts at him and runs off, leaving the other men there to look at them. Doll lets him be, seeing Sebastian going after him.
Later Doll finds that Sebastian took Ciel a fresh set of clothes. He appears right before lights out, totally ignoring Doll's questions. Doll decides not to push it, letting Ciel be for the night.
When Ciel wakes up in the middle of the night, a short scream passing his lips, Doll is next to him immediately. "Smile, it's ok. You're fine now. It was just a nightmare." She reassures him, pulling him into a hug.
Ciel gasps and shakes in the embrace, resting his head on Doll's shoulder as he tries to breathe. "Breathe in. Breathe out." Doll instructs calmly, rubbing Ciel's back.
Ciel follows the simple instructions, regaining his sense lowly but surely. "T-thanks." He breathes, trying to remove Doll from his form, Doll's not having it.
"Smile, what was so terrible that you have nightmares every night? And you're not getting away with not answering this." Doll says firmly, her mouth set in a firm line.
Ciel laughs hysterically. "You wanna know? Fine! When I was ten, I was captured and sold as a slave for a perverse cult! They branded me and tortured me for months! I was on the verge of breaking fully when Black came and saved me!" He admits,crazed smile and his eyes glazed over, not entirely aware of his surroundings.
Doll frowns, pulling Ciel into another hug. "Sh. It's ok." She coos, rubbing his back.
Ciel doesn't cry, only sit there silently. Eventually, Doll lays down with him, pulling him into her chest. Doll stays awake until Ciel falls asleep, which is an hour later. Thankfully, he stays asleep for the rest of the night.
Doll wakes up extra early, heading to Joker's tent. He's just getting up when she enters, and blinks at her appearance. "Doll, is there something you need?" He asks, leaning on his elbows.
"We need to intervene." Doll states simply. "Smile woke up screaming last night. He wouldn't go back to sleep for an hour. And that's only because I laid down with him so he could stay calm."
Joker frowns, concern flashing across his features. "We'll let him take it easy for awhile. Doc can give him some sleeping medicine so the nightmares calm down." Joker decides. "No practice or shows until he's better."
Doll breathes a sigh of relief, thanks Joker, and heads back to her and Ciel's tent. As she walks in, Ciel is up and changing. "Hurry up! We don't want to be late." Doll urges, a smile on her face.
Ciel stiffens, pulling on his shirt more roughly than necessary. "And I talked with Joker, since you've been having constant nightmares. You're obviously not ok, so I asked him to give you some time to rest. He said no practice or shows until they calm down and that you can get some medicine from Doc." Doll tells him, watching his reaction carefully.
Ciel stiffens again, much more noticeably and longer this time. He turns slowly, a vindictive look in his eyes. "You did what?" He asks slowly, a hard edge in his voice.
"I'm sorry, but if you kept practicing, you would have been hurt. I really didn't want that to happen." Doll apologizes, having enough courtesy to look sheepish.
Ciel takes a few deep breaths, and forces himself to calm down. Thanking it through, Ciel speaks again. "You're right. If I kept practicing, I could have been seriously hurt or hurt someone else, and that would be bad." He admits, though he doesn't like it.
They walk and start helping with breakfast, Ciel peeling potatoes again, this time considerably better. Sebastian walks by, but doesn't acknowledge them.
Later, right before the show, Sebastian and Ciel are about to sneak off when Sebastian is needed for the acrobatics in place of Wendy. Ciel waits for Sebastian close to the first-sting tents, and goes ahead after Sebastian has all of the snakes tied up.
While he's investigating, after the close call with Beast, Ciel finds a letter with information on him. He eyes widened and his heartbeat speeds up. He takes deep breathes, putting the letter back and leaving the tent as he hears the first-strings appear.
When he's caught by the snake and Doll, and breathes a sigh of relief at an escape. He works up a lie to tell her when she questions him, she surely will, as they run.
When they get under the string and out of sight, when Doll reveals she had been rooming with Ciel, he blanks, losing absolute control o f his body. He has a full on panic attack, the stress, lack of sleep, his cold, and the winter weather finally getting to him. His breathing and heartbeat speed up, he starts coughing violently, leading to Ciel vomiting before collapsing.
Doll lifts Ciel easily, worried about how light he is. She rushes to the others, who are still changing, almost fully panicking. She finds Dagger first, and barely keeps from breaking down. "I found Smile and he started coughing really badly and then threw up and collapsed and I don't know what to do." She explains, panic building in her.
"I'll take him to the infirmary. You go get changed and get there as soon as you can." Dagger takes Ciel from Doll, moving quickly.
Doll is at the infirmary in record time, and finds Doc, Sebastian and Dagger around a feverish Ciel. "Why did he collapse?" She asks as soon as she's by them.
"It's asthma. It looks like he's been essentially cured of it; but stress, a cold, or the chill of winter can trigger it again. There are also signs of a panic attack, so that contributed to the relapse." Doc explains.
"So he'll be ok?" Doll asks hopefully.
"We'll have to watch him until the fever goes away and the coughing stops, but he should be fine when they pass." Doc assures her.
Doll sighs in relief, and Dagger pats her shoulder before leaving them. "I'll go get ice." Doll offers.
She runs off, leaving Sebastian and Doc with Ciel. When she returns, Sebastian is gone and Ciel is asleep, but having another nightmare. "Doc, we need to wake Ciel up." Doll says in an urgent voice.
"Why is that?" He questions, turning towards her.
"The nightmares have been happening every night all week. I think they're part of why his asthma relapsed so badly." Doll explains urgently, setting the ice down.
"Doll, he needs his sleep. I promise if i can see it get really bad, then we'll wake him up." Doc attempt to calm her, but it barely works.
Doll goes to the other side of the bed, lying close to Ciel so that he needs her, she's in reach. He manages to calm back down without waking up, causing Doll to sigh in relief. She falls asleep too, but leaves when it's lights out.
When Ciel and Sebastian disappear the next morning, Doll is freaking out. "Smile is still sick! He's going to get worse if he's out in the cold." She stresses to Dagger.
"I'm sure that Black is with Smile, so he'll be fine." Dagger assures her, a hint of bitterness in his voice. "Now, let's go practice. There's no use worrying about things we can't deal with."
Doll quiets down, chewing on her lip, but doesn't stop thinking about it. She goes through her routine, trying to focus, but the task proves to be difficult.
A/N: The story progresses the same way from there, so I really don't want to write it out. But, if you liked, let me know however you'd like and I'll write more like it.