Chapter 1

A puppy's bark. It should've been a happy sound, tied to memories of summer days and cheerful romps barefoot through the grass. Instead, it had broken his heart. Memories of that beach, the sounds of the waves crashing, the skin on skin, knowing so much about himself, and the feeling of it all. He had felt so complete, so right with the world. Then the harsh reality pulled at him once more. The tower crumbled. The world was changed. And the voice he wanted to hear more than any other was replaced by the cheerful bark of a puppy.

Aoba rolled over, he'd been dreaming of Ren again. He didn't bother opening his eyes to check the pillow where the allmate body sat in off mode, he had checked it every time he woke up the first few days just to make sure it wasn't a bad dream, that Ren wasn't really gone. But the reality had gradually set in like an unrelenting chill and Aoba had resigned himself to stay in bed where he could at least see Ren in his dreams.

Granny moved about the house quietly, leaving food outside Aoba's door and collecting the untouched dishes later. The pangs of hunger dulled after the second day, though he did pull himself upright and chug a water bottle that lay on the floor next to his bed, his will to live saying it wasn't time to give up yet. As he tried to go back to sleep, there was a soft rapping at his door. Aoba ignored it, just like he had ignored his coil when it rang the first day before turning it off completely. The knocking came again, this time accompanied by a soft, low voice.

"Aoba?" it was Koujaku.

Aoba pulled his blanket up tighter around himself and rolled away from the door, hoping that if he didn't answer his friend would go away. He should've known better. After another moment, his door creaked open and Aoba felt another presence enter the room. Soft footfalls on the floor and then a dipping in the bed from added weight.

"Aoba," Koujaku's voice was gentle, "Come on, Aoba. You need to get up."

The blue haired man groaned, reflexively curling in on himself more as he tried to will Koujaku away and bring back his fevered dreams of Ren. A slender yet persistent finger gently tapped the side of his face. Aoba tried to swat it away but missed only to have it return a little harder this time.

"Leave me alone," he was shocked at how raspy his own voice sounded, "Damn hippo."

"Get up and eat and maybe I will," the familiar playfulness in Koujaku's voice was forced, a hint of worry coloring the edges of his words.

"I'm fine. Just…let me sleep."

"You've been sleeping for over a week now," the dark haired man poked Aoba's face again, "Tae says you haven't eaten in as long."

"I'm fine," Aoba grit his teeth, bitterness seeping into his voice as he swatted at Koujaku's hand again, more aggressively.

"Obviously not," Koujaku prodded again, "You haven't spoken to anyone since Oval Tower fell."

"I said I'm fine!" With a sudden and tremendous kick, Aoba sent and unprepared Koujaku tumbling to the floor, "Why can't you all just leave me alone?!"

"Aoba!" the hairdresser huffed from the floor, "That hurt."

"You don't know pain!" Maybe it was the delirium from lack of food and water, or the hysteria of all the events that had transpired built to overflowing, but Aoba stumbled from his bed and grabbed fistfuls of Koujaku's kimono and shook his friend violently, "You don't know what it means to hurt!"

"Aoba!" Alarm. Good.

"You just…" The haze passed and the chill sank deep in his heart causing Aoba to release his friend and clutch his own chest, "You…just…you don't…"

Koujaku caught Aoba as he fell onto his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. All the pain, all the loss poured in an endless torrent of tears. He mumbled incoherently into his best friend's chest. Names flew out. Toue. Sei. Ren. Sly. It was all too jumbled for Koujaku to understand. Instead he kept one arm wrapped tightly around Aoba's waist; the other ran soothingly back and forth across his back. After several moments, the blue haired man began to calm down, his breathing returning to normal save for the occasional hiccup. Koujaku noticed Aoba's eyes begin to flutter close and roused his friend.

"You can't sleep yet," he soothed, "You have to eat first."

Aoba simply nodded, not objecting but not trusting his voice. Rolling sideways off his friend, Aoba tried to stand but his legs were weak under him and wouldn't support his weight. Koujaku stood and tried to help Aoba up. When it became apparent that he was too weak to stand, Koujaku scooped him up bridal style and carefully replaced him on his bed.

"Koujaku!" the blue haired man protested, but lacked the energy to fight off.

"Wait here," and with that he disappeared out the door, returning a few moments later with a steaming tray of food, "Scoot over."

Aoba did as he was instructed and Koujaku slid onto the bed next to him, helping the other man sit up with the aid of a few pillows to prop him with. Handing him one of the bowls of rice, Koujaku waited till Aoba took three mouthfuls before he himself launched into the meal Tae had set out for them.

He had been out of the hospital a few days, his injuries minor. The first day he had come straight to Aoba's only to find his friend fast asleep. Tae had fed him and sent him away, instructing him to let Aoba rest. The second day, he could tell something was wrong just by the tone of Tae's voice. When Tae called his coil the third day, he knew something was wrong. Briefly, she had explained what she knew and voiced her frustration at how much she didn't know and practically begged Koujaku to do something.

Pushing his bowl back into Koujaku's hand; Aoba settled down, curling into his friend's side and casually tossing an arm across him. Careful not to move too much, Koujaku removed the dishes from the bed and placed them onto the floor before wrapping an arm protectively around Aoba's shoulder. Soon, the blue haired man was sleeping leaving the older man to quietly contemplate the situation. He'd gotten him to eat, that was good, but the outburst had raised more questions. Aoba suddenly hiccupped a sob in his sleep and called out a name.

"Ren!"

Rubbing his arm lightly to calm him, Koujaku turned his eyes from Aoba to the little pillow at the foot of the bed where a lump of dark blue fur lay motionless.