Ordinarity
Summary: Usagi does some thinking about her and Mamoru's relationship as well as her destiny as a Sailor Senshi and Queen and mother to be, after the battle against Galaxia. Takes place about a month or two after the final episode.
If you have time I'd love to hear - read - your thoughts on this matter
Enjoy the reading!
Updated due to spelling mistakes, so embarrassing -.-
#
When was the first time Mamoru had looked at her without annoyance or anger? Usagi pulled restlessly at some of the loose blonde hair that swung around her hair face, hanging from her trademark odango hairstyle.
When was the first time, really? She couldn't say. Because, the first time Usagi had seen the black haired older guy look at her with a smile and pleased eyes filled with real caring, was right after the soul of Serenity had awoken within her and thus woken the soul of Endymion that resided in Mamoru. So, Usagi concluded as she pulled at her hair some more, than meant that it wasn't MAMORU per see that looked at USAGI that time, but rather ENDYMION who looked at SERENTIY.
But what about after that? When the soul of the tragic past lovers had somehow slowly retired back into such a deep part of her and Mamoru's subconscious that they almost forgot them? All the times he had looked at her then?
No. That wasn't plain Mamoru either, of that Usagi was completely sure, since she had felt the small but oh so existing soul of Serenity rejoice and come forth from the deep subconscious in Usagi's own mind, and thus she had seen and sensed Endymion in Mamoru.
So, if it never had been Usagi and Mamoru, but rather Serenity and Endymion, didn't that mean that Usagi and Mamoru weren't meant to be involved? For surely, in a romantic and loving relationship, Usagi should feel loved for HERSELF and not for a small but existing part of a since long gone soul that just happened to reside in her body and mind.
And to take things further - if Mamoru cared for her (loved her as he said) he shouldn't have stepped away when Endymion of the future sent those nightmares - "testing the strength of their love" be damned!
Usagi huffed. When that had happened, Serenity had walked forward and almost consumed Usagi entirely with the grief of the thought of Endymion leaving her AGAIN, thus making her feel sad and depressed all the time until things got "fixed"
So no, they - Usagi and Mamoru as individuals - had never liked each other, and if they didn't LIKE one another, there sure as hell could be such a thing as LOVE between them.
And, for USAGI'S part, there was no love, no liking, no respect. All that joy she felt came - she had finally realized - from SERENITY spending time with ENDYMION via Usagi and Mamoru's bodies.
So what to do now, when she no longer had to be Sailor Moon or the powerful Serenity. What now, when she could be whom she had wanted to be since the beginning of the magical supergirl fighting bad guys-circus had started - Tsukino Usagi. What now when she, after years of fighting against her own will to save others - the saving part she didn't mind since she cared for all good people and wanted them safe - no longer had the will or strength to put up with it.
She could quit, she guessed; tell everyone that she no longer wanted a part of it and leave. But, the friendship she had with the other girls - although that as well was a result of souls taking over bodies - that friendship, she treasured it too much.
So what to do? How to end things? Usagi did not want to live her life as a reincarnation with the soul of Serenity of the Moon inside her. She longed for sleepless night without memories from the Silver Millennium to visit her as forms of dreams. She craved FREEDOOM.
"U-SAAAA-GI!"
Usagi smiled as Minako flung herself down on the bench, loose blonde hair falling all over the place.
"You sounded serious on the phone, is something wrong?"
Usagi pondered how to answer the other blonde's question.
"I don't think wrong is the right word, more like mad and crazy and confusing and sad as hell," Usagi replied after thinking through. Minako blinked, looking quite put off by Usagi cursing.
"Alright. Shoot. Tell me", said the girl who had been the very first to be dragged into the magical mess.
Usagi was silent for a moment, and then she figured that if anyone could possibly understand her, it was Minako. And so, she voiced her thoughts to another for the first time. Minako listened silently, never laughing or scolding. She simply listened until Usagi stopped talking.
"I know," was all Minako said after five minutes of silence.
"What do you mean, you know?"
Minako smiled slightly.
"Do you remember the bond Venus and Serenity shared; the bond of friendship and love before the bond of Guardian and Princess?"
Usagi nodded.
"I do. I've... dreamt... all of Serenity's life."
"I have done the same with Venus's. So, that bond somehow - I have no clue why - has stretched - for me at least - from Venus to Minako."
Minako looked a bit apologetic. Usagi took her hand.
"You're my dearest friend Minako, magic aside," she told her "twin" sincerely.
"Usagi."
"Minako."
They shared a smile.
"But, of you knew, then why...?" Usagi trailed of.
"Well, I assumed you weren't ready to talk," Minako said with a shrug.
"Thank you."
"Mhm. And, for the record, I feel the same way", Minako told her matter of factly.
"Really?"
"Yupp. I mean, it sure had been an adventure, but now we - or well, the Senshi - are no longer needed, so I'd love for Venus to leave me," Minako stated.
"Mhm. I want to be just Usagi."
"Will you tell the others and Mamoru?"
I have to, anything else is cruel and unfair."
#
"You're... you're serious? You don't want to be with Mamoru, and you don't want to be Sailor Moon or have Serenity's soul inside you?"
Usagi nodded firmly. "I'm very serious. I have NEVER wanted this, surely you must know that," she said softly to Rei.
They had once more met at the Hikawa Jinja. Usagi wondered if it would be the last time. She really had no idea how Rei, Ami, Makoto and Mamoru would react. Or what they would choose to do; join her in splitting their souls from their magical reincarnations and be their earthly selves, or remain as they were now - two persons in one body and mind, forever tangled, never ending.
The only thing Usagi knew was that she, along with Minako, had had enough and would find a way to break free.
Silence stretched out across the room, dooming and unsure.
"Can you say something?" Usagi bade finally, when she no longer could take it.
"I'll say this: you are secretive as heck!" Mamoru muttered, looking quite awestruck.
"Huh?"
"Well, everyone has been asking me what's up with you, and I haven't had a clue so... secretive and sneaky," said the college student with a snicker followed by a shrug.
"I'm not sneaky, baka!" Usagi found herself snapping, suddenly ad annoyed as she had been during those old odd moment when she had interacted with Mamoru as Usagi alone, without any magical souls interfering.
"You are, odango atama!" he insisted and grinned at her.
And then, Usagi felt Serenity take over, more firmly than ever.
"I'm sorry I snapped, my love, please forgive me!"
'Oh no you don't!' Usagi thought as she clawed her way back into HER OWN body, pushing the Moon Princess back with a grunt
"You see? This is partly what I want to escape from; having MY OWN SELF taken over by someone long dead!" she huffed in annoyance.
"That was way too creepy!" Rei muttered and looked quite sick to her stomach. "It was like watching two totally different persons who looked the same," she went on and shuddered.
"I will look up soul disunion," Ami said firmly, looking scared.
"I'll just knock the souls away!" declared Makoto and let her fist hit her palm with a thud.
"I'd REALLY like not to have flashbacks involving Endymion and Serenity in bed, like, it's just SO wrong to see your image like that, odango atama!" Mamoru muttered.
"EW! YOU CREEP, CHIBA!"
#
"And you're sure this will work, Ami?"
"Affirmative, Usagi. The Mercury computer is fail safe - good thing I can use it this final time!" said Ami and nodded.
It had been a week since they all had agreed to split from the souls of the Silver Millennium. Ami had found a way, partially using the Mercury computer since some things was otherworldly and therefore only accessible through magical means, and had directed them to a hill on the country side, far from the city and from people. They could not, WOULD not, be interrupted.
"Alright Ami, lead the way!" Usagi said.
"We have to transform into our final and strongest forms, pray to Selene to stop this cycle and then reject our power and the Outer's souls completely", Ami said solemnly.
It took them mere instants to wield their powers; years of transforming had paid off.
"So... they praying thing... how?" asked Usagi - she no longer thought of herself as Sailor Moon.
"You must do it, Usagi. At least I think so. Since Serenity is a Moonchild, she will aid you in contacting the Moon Queen, I hope", replied Ami.
Usagi snickered at the irony; the soul who wanted to stay held the key to its own undoing.
"Alright!"
She reached into her mind. 'Serenity. Please, I don't want to share my life with you; to let you live through me. No longer. So please, this one time, help me,' she spoke to the soul of the Moon princess in her mind.
'Usagi... I'm truly sorry. I ignored how you felt. I was selfish. Unworthy of my title and powers. I will help, and leave. But, thank you.'
The Moon Princess faded somewhat, but not before telling Usagi what to say and do, and Usagi left her mind.
"Usagi?"
She smiled at her four friends and nodded at Mamoru, confirming that she knew how to fix things.
"Selene! I summon thee! By the power of the Moon!" Usagi called out to the gleaming silvery full moon, and raised her Moon Rod; it grew longer - seemed to reach up to the very surface of the moon, and heated up from power flowing through it.
"I hear you... Usagi."
The dead Moon Queen could no longer take visual form, but her very presence filled the air that surrounded the five on top of the hill.
"We have ended the cycle one time, beaten the evil, fought with the souls of your people. Now, we reject them and our powers, forever ending the never ending circle! Heed us!"
Oh how she longed to never have to shout cheesy lines again!
I hear and heed you - and I THANK YOU, children of Earth. Reclaim yourselves", the voice if Selene echoed around them.
"We reject magic, we reclaim ourselves!" said Usagi and nodded pointedly to the four people beside her.
"WE REJECT MAGIC AND RECLAIM OURSELVES!" they shouted as one.
It began deep inside her, humming softly, getting stronger. Tearing her apart. Usagi welcomed it.
"Goodbye... Usagi," came a faint, final whisper.
'Goodbye, Serenity!' Usagi sang out happily in her mind as a final deep thug followed by a searing pain filled her.
Usagi blinked, took a deep breath and blinked once more. The world came into focus, sharp and clear and so normal she cried out with joy, filling the night with her shriek.
"Really, odango atama? Lower the volume!"
"Shut the hell up, Chiba baka!"
#
Usagi stepped inside the building and walked up to the counter.
"Hello! I have an appointment, Tsukino Usagi," she said happily.
"Absolutely! Please come this way, miss Tsukino."
It was like seeing a somewhat familiar stranger. Usagi beamed at her reflection.
"Is this exactly how you wanted it?"
"Yes! Thank you! I'm so happy!" Usagi squealed, and the hairdresser smiled.
"Splendid."
Usagi took another look at herself and the familiar stranger with a blond, madly short pixie cut smiled back.
When she had paid and was out on the street, she stopped shortly by a window and studied herself. Jeans, bright pink shoes with silver studs, a poison green tank top, huge silver hops in the lobes of her ear.
Usagi saluted her reflection.
"Goodbye... Serenity."
Tsukino Usagi walked away in the crowd, towards ordinarily, and it had never felt better.
In the window, the faint image of a woman in a long, sweeping white dress, her blonde hair amazingly long and put in two odangos, smiled and faded away to eternal rest.