"Blimey, that all went a bit mango-shaped! Hmm … mangos … do I like mangos?"
"OK, so we've tested apples, pomegranates, pears, satsumas, grapes—"
"Red and green," interjected Rose.
"—avacados, oranges, passion fruits and bananas," finished Jack, checking off the various fruits on the list he was holding. "The only thing left to try that we've got on board the TARDIS is a mango." Jack looked at the Doctor and grinned. "Feeling up to the challenge, Doc?"
The Doctor wrinkled his nose up, pretending to be affronted. He peered suspiciously at the fruit bowl, which held a wide variety of fruits less then an hour ago, and now contained one solitary mango.
"I'll have you know I'm feeling rather full," the Doctor said. "Plus I think I'm stocked up on enough vitamins to keep me going for about a month without needing to worry about eating healthily."
"Have you got a phobia of mangos or something, Doctor?" Rose asked, only half-joking.
"I don't think it's a phobia," Jack said, crossing his arms and staring intently at the Doctor, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. "I think he just doesn't want to. He's being stubborn."
"I am not stubborn!"
"Prove it," Jack said, the grin on his face getting steadily bigger. "I dare you."
"Oooooooh …" Rose taunted the Doctor, knowing from experience that he could never resist a dare. The Doctor's eyes narrowed slightly, but Jack and Rose could tell he was fighting back his characteristic manic grin.
"I dare you," repeated Jack. Rose looked from Jack to the Doctor as they stared each other out, the Doctor trying hard not to smile and Jack trying hard not to blink. It was like watching two cowboys in a spaghetti western trying to out-stare each other before going for their guns in the shoot-out.
In one quick motion, the Doctor grabbed the mango and bit into it several times until only the stone was left. The Doctor threw the stone back into the fruit bowl as Jack carried on staring, as if egging the Doctor on, and Rose suppressed a giggle as she watched the Doctor's face. As the Doctor chewed the mango, his expression went from defiance to distaste to disgust in the space of about two seconds.
"Like it?" Jack asked cheekily.
The Doctor nodded and turned a pale green colour.
"Gonna swallow it?"
He nodded again and dry-heaved.
"Doc, if you don't like it, you can just admit it."
"Yeah, it's not like we're gonna take the mick just 'cause you don't like mangos—"
"AI DOO MLAK MAMBOS!" yelled the Doctor, spraying half-chewed mango all over Jack and Rose, who both shrieked and tried to shield themselves from the green gunk exploding from the Doctor's mouth.
"Y'know, Doc," Jack said, "saying 'I do like mangos' sounds so much more believable when you're not vomiting said mango all over Rose and myself." he grinned as he wiped some gunk off his sleeve. The Doctor sighed heavily and wiped his mouth.
"Yeah, I don't think mangos agree with me," he conceded.
"I think it's more of a case of you not agreeing with the mangos," Rose giggled, shaking her head violently to dislodge a stubborn piece of fruit from her hair.
"Either way," Jack said, "at least we can add mangos to the list of things to torture you with."
"What's the supposed to mean?" the Doctor demanded jokingly.
"Well," said Jack, in an attempt at being deadly serious, "we need to know what'll make you talk in a torturous situation so that we can conceal that from anyone who wants to torture you."
"Including you?" The Doctor grinned as Jack pretended to look hurt.
"Why would I want to torture you, Doctor?" he said, placing a hand on his chest and choking back a fake sob. "It breaks my heart that you could even think such a thing!" He howled melodramatically for a few seconds before dissolving into peals of laughter, with Rose giggling and the Doctor rolling his eyes.
"It's not like it's difficult to torture him, anyway," Rose giggled, winking conspiratorially at Jack. "We just threaten to phone Mickey and tell him to post on that website that the Doctor can't get enough of Disney films." The Doctor paled.
"You wouldn't!" he said, genuinely shocked. Jack suppressed another laugh as Rose grinned evilly.
"With particular emphasis," she continued, staring mischievously at the Doctor, "on how much he cried at the end of Finding Nemo, and how he leapt around the TARDIS yelling 'To infinity and beyond' while brandishing his sonic screwdriver at people after watching Toy Story …"