A/N: Before you read this is a total comedy about the Shipping Wars of Avatar. It is not to offend any ships (I am a Zutara/Yukka/Zue/Maiko-ish/Taang/Tokka shipper myself) this is just to laugh and show the extreme side of shipping have fun. Enjoy.

The ocean of Chi was quiet the Zutaraian war ship was locked onto the harbor until orders from its leader, Canon-Bender69. Captain Ming Ue stood on the ship looking out into the sea.

The Kataang warship was parked on thee other side of the harbor; the ship seemed to be celebrating something. Ming Ue's silver eyes narrowed in disgust.

"Is everything alright Captain?" asked Private Amaterasu brushing her red hair.

Ming Ue sighed and turned around. "Those damn Kataangs they have been celebrating all afternoon. They have some information we don't know about or have been so in denial about."

Amaterasu let out a growl and threw her brush. "Damn them and their canon logic! What do you think they are up to?"

"I sent a spy, Agent ZK 78, to Maikoian ships a few days ago she should be returning with news."

And then under an amazing coincidence Agent ZK 78 barged into the room. She was bloody was covered in mud. Her eyes were bulging and her shirt looked like it was covered in vomit.

Ming Ue walked towards the disgusting agent. "Agent ZK 78? Are you alright?"

"T…terrible…disgusting…things…its EVIL!!!" the young teenage girl screamed.

"What? What's evil?" Amaterasu asked shaking the teenager.

"It…it…"

"Out with it solider!" Amaterasu said slapping the girl. Agent ZK 78 took out a tape and slowly handed it to Amaterasu.

"Take…it…and beware…" she whispered before fainting in the red heads arms. The girl immediately dropped the body to the floor and looked at the tape. "What do you think could be in this Captain?"

Ming Ue covered her mouth. "I don't know, but if it came from the Maiko ship…its something canon." She pressed on the loudspeaker. "Cabins OppositesArract through TheyLookSexyTogether gather in the auditorium. And prepare yourselves for something logical."

Ming Ue took the tape from Amaterasu and raised it up in the sky. "Only God knows what kind of Anti-Zutara lies are in this."

0o0o0

Within minutes the Zutaraian auditorium was filled with its teenage-girl soldiers and a handful of boys. They all seemed eager to see what was going to happen. They hadn't been this hyped up since the preview of CRoD.

Ming Ue came onto the stage, a screen was behind her, and Amaterasu was in the back holding the tape.

"Ladies and our 10 male crew, Agent ZK 78 had returned from her mission from the Maiko ship. She has returned with a tape which content sent her into a state of madness. We must warn you…this may contain logical fact that may go against our ship. You have been warned."

Ming Ue gave the signal and Amaterasu placed the tape inside the VCR. On the screen it showed COMIC CON. The girls in the crowd cheered, until they saw Aang.

"BOOO!! YOU DON'T DESIRVE KATARA! YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE KID!"

Ming Ue and Amaterasu smiled happily at their girls, but all smiles faded as Zuko and Mai came up on the screen…and kissed!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
They screamed, holding each other and crying. Some has vomited onto the floor other started scratching at their eyes.

Ming Ue walked onto the screen. "Zutaraians! Relax yourselves or the Waterbending Scroll will be banned for a week."

The room went dead silent.

Ming Ue cleared her throat and looked up.

"Now this video…"

"IT'S NOT REAL…"

"IT'S MAI'S SICK DREAM…"

"HE'S USING HER TO GET TO AZULA!"

As the uproar began up again one young girl raised her hand. Ming Ue clapped her hands twice and the room went silent again.

"You may speak PrincessKatara09," Ming Ue said.

"Um…I was just thinking. Don't you all think it's immature for us to hate and fight with Maiko and Kataang just because they are canon? Can't we just like our ship for what it is…a non-canon idea?"

Whispering started amongst the other Zutaraians and Ming Ue nodded slowly. "Wow PrincessKatara09, you have made a very logical and smart point," she said with a smile, "That must mean…" then suddenly pointed at the young girl. "YOU ARE A KATAANGER IN DISGUSE KILL HER!!!"

As soon as the order was given the fans jumped poor PrincessKatara09 the sound of screams and ripping of flesh was heard. Ming Ue nodded in approval as Amaterasu walked up to her.

"So what do we do about this kiss?" she asked clearly disgusted by the very idea of Zuko being with someone other than Katara.

"The same thing we did with Jin and Zuko's kiss. We ignore it until we can find something against it," she said walking into the hallway, with the red-head behind her. "Call the Taang Captain Tongone and tell them about this information. Let's see if they have any counter canon."

"Alright Captain I will…" the red head stopped and dropped her writing pad on the ground with a loud slam. Ming Ue turned around. "What is it Ama?"

The girl pointed out the window. The silver-eyes Captain looked up to see a flag raised from the Kataang flag. The flag had a picture of Mai and Zuko kissing and underneath it read Zutara 2005-2007 R.I.P.

Ming Ue growled and leaned out the window and screamed. "THIS MEANS WAR!!!!!"

A/N: Lol Well that was chapter 1 of this silly-ass story. Next time…the Kataang warship.