Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, I do not own Glee, I dooooo nooot own Glee. *yes, once again I am singing my disclaimer* such fun!
A/N:
So, the full title would not fit in the description, but I still put it in here, OF COURSE. I hope you like it.
I love you all, and yes, this does kind of have a cliffhanger. Unless your mind always walks as wonderfully strange, mesmerizing and downright magical paths as mine – the road not taken, and all that – in that case, you will know what this is about, for sure.
Uncovering The Love We Hold Wrapped Inside Our Clothes
Blaine feels long arms gently wrap around him and a chin rest on his left shoulder.
The familiar touch holds nothing but comfort for the boy.
He closes his eyes for a moment and allows himself to simply lean back into the warmth. After all, they are in the choir room, which is right now empty, and one of the only places at school Kurt and Blaine feel safe enough to show the affection they hold for each other.
Blaine is filled with happiness, thinking back to the moment Kurt handed him that beautiful bouquet of flowers.
Then, Blaine feels something else, distinctly piercing that happiness.
"Kurt?"
"Mmh."
"I am sorry."
"Why? What for?" Kurt asks slowly sliding his arms from where they have been resting over Blaine's stomach to Blaine's hips, and keeping the touch, fingers trailing along the fabric of Blaine's vest, as he moves around Blaine to face him.
Blaine himself seems frozen in place.
A moment later their eyes lock, and Kurt sees Blaine is on the brink of tears.
Kurt wants nothing more, in this instant, than to wrap Blaine securely into his arms and let him cry, but Blaine's expression tells him that the other boy wants, needs to say something, so Kurt holds back, keeping his eyes linked with Blaine's.
"Babe, you can tell me," Kurt says, then quickly adds "I know you know that. I am just saying it because I also know, that sometimes, you need to hear things like that out loud."
Kurt looks so serious saying this, like he has just reminded Blaine that they both know the answer to one of the best kept secrets in the universe, that Blaine has to smile.
A single tear slips from Blaine's right eye, and Kurt moves on instinct to wipe it away.
They have held each other often enough over the summer, either one crying, which most times had led to both of them being in tears, their muscles seem to have memorized the movements that are comforting to each other.
Kurt and Blaine had both wondered about and eventually discussed with each other whether the amount of crying that seemed to occur already in the early stages of their relationship is something other couples experience.
Eventually they had come to the conclusion that they both had their doubts, and the whole topic had been considered dealt with, by both, when Blaine had said "…but when have we ever been a usual couple." To which Kurt had only replied with a smile, some nodding and "True."
There are upsides to the crying too, because in the end they always lead to the both of them just lying on Kurt's bed, wrapped in each other's arms or holding hands while lying on their sides, smiling at each other, raveling in the comfort of the other's presence, knowing it is all they need, hoping it will be all they will ever need, and something they will always have, to make them feel they can go on, no matter what the world throws at them next.
This, right here, right now, appears to be one of those nexts, something that involves more than just the two of them.
The two of them has been easy ever since Blaine confessed his feelings to Kurt that day at Dalton.
But the world being involved, the world breaking into their shared lives, will, it seems for now, always make things more complicated.
With Blaine smiling, the tear could almost pass for a happy one, did Kurt not known how this conversation had started.
"I am sorry I did not kiss you in the stairwell," Blaine finally whispers, eyes darting to the floor, the rest of his face speaking of the guilt and more so grief he felt then, still –painfully obvious to Kurt - feels right now.
"Hey, the touch of a fingertip, remember?" Kurt smiles his warmest, most affectionate of smiles.
"And…and I know. It is all new to me too. I don't know either how close we can allow ourselves to be in public." Taking a deep breath Kurt continues, "…and yes, I hate that we have to think about and discuss it. But none of that will ever make me doubt your love for me or my love for you. You know that, right?" Kurt waits for the slight, to him after a summer mostly spent together, telltale shift of Blaine's head to the side, letting Kurt know without words, that yes he, Blaine, knows, understands.
Watching Blaine love him and loving Blaine has taught Kurt that there is so much more than words, always more.
So Kurt continues "Yes, I hope soon we will live somewhere, together, where we won't have to worry about that at all. I hope, more so, that in a couple of years even kids living here won't have to worry either about such a simple thing as showing their love for each other in public. Love for each other is nothing anyone should ever have to hide, and Blaine…look at me please…" and Blaine does, so Kurt says with a somewhat proud smile for knowing his boyfriend so well already, "Those eyes will always betray your love for me. All it will take when we get into our first fight as a couple will be one look into those big, gorgeous eyes of yours, and gosh, I fear I will forget anything but my love for you. Maybe I am foolishly sure of our love. All I know for now is that it is an amazing feeling, to love you."
"The best," Blaine whispers, resting his forehead against Kurt's.
"Yes. The best," Kurt echoes Blaine's whisper in a tone so even and quiet, any onlooker would suspect the two boys are whispering a secret too each other that no one else is supposed to know about.
And although their love is no secret, no one around them seems to have caught on to the secret of its depth just yet; if you asked Blaine or Kurt they would probably answer that it is unlikely anyone ever will unearth it.
"And by the way," Kurt goes on after a moment of easy silence, "I am saying all this to let you know…I understand." Looking somewhat saddened Kurt adds "I thought you did know? I thought you saw it in my eyes too. I wanted to kiss you, so badly."
Blaine leans in and connects their lips in a soft yet insistent touch he hopes will leave no doubt with Kurt.
"I do. Gosh, Kurt, I do. I don't doubt your love for me, never. I just…"
"Yes?"
"I am still scared of losing you sometimes, because of something like this, and with the auditions going on, I was scared I hurt you... and you have always been more out and proud than me. Being out and proud at Dalton was…it never felt like truly being that, and I cannot…" Blaine lets out a deep sigh before he says, "I cannot stand the idea of not having you in my life anymore." Blaine adds a second later in a whisper, "…did not want to from the first moment our eyes locked when I sang Teenage Dream to you and saw your smile."
Kurt pulls Blaine into his arms then says softly "I am so so sorry I did not encourage you to give your best and go for what you truely want. You were always there when I needed you and now that you needed me to support you I was so selfish, I am so so sorry."
Hearing Kurt's words Blaine slowly relaxes into his boyfriend's touch, then wraps his own arms around Kurt until his hands rest comfortably on Kurt's lower back. Pulling himself deeper into Kurt's arms, Blaine takes a deep breath, in an attempt to feel even closer to the boy in his arms.
"You smell like…"
"You," Kurt supplies, and it is not a question.
Having been too wrapped up first in his own thoughts and then focused on Kurt's words, pulling back Blaine only now fully takes in all of Kurt's appearance.
"You are wearing…," Blaine sounds as surprised as he looks.
"Yes. Yes, I am," Kurt replies, a slight smirk on his face.