Disclaimer: I do not own Ed, Edd n Eddy or any of the following characters.
Chapter 1
By now, Double D was used to sitting between Ed and Eddy in the Principle's office, but he felt awkward and uncomfortable, talking alone with the guidance counselor he'd never really spoken with. Mr. Richards had apparently developed a curiosity toward him. Double D happened to have the highest grade point average of anyone in the history of Peach Creek High, but also one of the longest lists of offenses on his permanent record. He could've been Valedictorian, and Mr. Richards wanted to know why he gave it all up. "For your friends? That punk with the leather jacket?" Mr. Richards asked. "Or maybe your girlfriend? The one who's always skipping class, and dyes her hair blue." He leaned forward in his leather chair; fingers laced together. "Tell me about your nickname? What does it mean?" It seemed that he fancied himself a licensed therapist.
"Well, I suppose it's a sexual innuendo, but its purpose is to separate myself from my friend, Ed. People find 'Eddward' too formal, I suppose...?"
"Didn't you used to dress more formally?" Freshman year, Double D had outgrown wearing ties to school, finding it unnecessarily pretentious, and preferring to dress comfortably in baggy t-shirts and track pants. "Why do you always wear that hat?"
"I have a dodgeball-related scar. I'd rather not talk about it." Double D self-consciously tucked a strand of shoulder-length, black hair, behind his ear. "Anything else you'd like to ask, Sir?" He was growing weary of this conversation. "My favorite color, perhaps?" He'd always been a smartass, but he'd become a lot more outspoken with people besides Ed and Eddy. "It's a tie between red and orange. Maybe red-orange?"
"What are your parents like?"
"Distant."
Deep within the bowels of the junkyard, Jonny and the Eds, were hotboxing the back of the microbus they'd cleaned up. Jonny had let his Afro grow out, and typically dressed in tie-dye t-shirts, ripped jeans, and sandals. If you were to look up the word 'hippie' in the dictionary, you should've seen a picture of Jonny. "Here you go, Plank." He held the pipe up to the wooden board's mouth. The Eds exchanged deadpan looks. "I heard there'll be a party at Kevin's later."
"Really?!" Eddy perked up. "We should totally crash." After finally making peace with Kevin after all those years, the jock had sacrificed their friendship to maintain his popularity; there was no way he'd invite them to his party.
"Idunno, Eddy," Ed said apprehensively.
"Don't worry, Lumpy. We'll just blend in with the crowd."
Double D was sure they'd eventually be thrown out by Kevin, but Eddy was right about the crowd; there had to be at least thirty or forty people, which was a lot for the tiny house. It was loud and smokey and sweaty; not exactly the environment that Double D preferred. "Even if we don't run into Kevin, right away, someone will eventually point out our unwanted presence to him."
Eddy elbowed his shoulder. "You jinxed us, Double D."
"Hey, skank," Sarah addressed Marie, who happened to be hanging on Double D's arm. Ed's younger sister, was still the bratty princess, and sadistic tattletail, she'd always been. She was almost as popular as Kevin's girlfriend, Nazz, but thought to be even prettier by some—with long, red-orange hair, and pouty lips—though she could never seem to compete with Marie; who might've been a sultry, seductive, freckle-faced, blue-haired beauty, but was undeniably still trailer trash, in Sarah's biased opinion.
The blue-haired girl, merely flipped Sarah off, but it appeared the eldest Kanker, wasn't going to let that slide.
"What'd you just call her?" Lee asked rhetorically, raising her voice, as well as her fist. "Get off me!" She advised Ed, when he physically restrained her from hitting his sister, who smirked arrogantly at Lee.
Eddy facepalmed; they were already causing a scene.
"Who invited you guys?" Sarah crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at the obvious party crashers.
"Um... Kevin." Eddy said dumbly.
"So, if I ask him, he'll confirm that he invited you?"
"Please, baby sister," Ed pleaded, "don't tell Kevin!"
"I won't tell him," she said, "as long as you take Jimmy and I shopping."
"Okay," Ed agreed reluctantly.
"I mean, Kevin will find out you're here, anyway." She giggled evilly, flipping her pretty hair over her shoulder, and walking away.
"I really don't like that chick," Marie said, gripping Double D's arm possessively. "Hittin' on my man."
"I only have eyes for you," he said romantically, lifting her face to plant a kiss on her lips. Lee and May, wolf-whistled obnoxiously, while Ed and Eddy, made mockingly sickened noises.
Across the room, Sarah was glaring holes in the back of Marie's head. Suddenly, she couldn't care less about the deal she'd just made with her brother. "Oh, Kevin!"