Note: This took a few months to write. I wanted it to be...better than average. I'm not the best, but I sure as hell try. Enjoy.
Suggested Listening: Creep by Radiohead. It's what this oneshot was written to, but not a songfic.
Warnings: Masturbation, dark themes..kinda, angst.
Beautiful was an understatement when it came to describing Mello's favorite redhead. In truth, the blond could find no words appropriate enough to portray his Matt. Matt was simply too much of an attractive guy; so much so that Mello couldn't stand to look at him sometimes. When Matt would glance his way on occasion Mello would quickly turn his head, his cheeks heating up from the redhead's stare and the uninhibited thoughts that would run through his own mind.
Quite often, when Mello would lay in bed at night, those daytime thoughts would turn into nighttime fantasies as he wrapped his fingers around his pulsing length. Sweat would bead at the top of his forehead as he thrust into his hand and continually moaned Matt's name, panting harshly as wave after wave of blissful orgasm turned his vision white and his thoughts became incoherent.
In the mornings following his sins Mello would feel the guilt and shame coursing throughout his body. With a bottle of whiskey by his side he would lay on the floor of his messy living room, crying into the carpet and begging God's forgiveness for his lude acts and immoral thoughts. If anyone knew better that homosexuality was a sin, it was Mello. He knew his thoughts of Matt were wrong, and mixing them in with masturbation no less was an automatic ticket to hell. Yet when the afternoon sky was replaced with a sheet of black, Mello didn't try to stop those thoughts from leading him into temptation once more.
As the nights of sin continued and the days of remorse passed on, Mello found it more and more challenging to keep his secret hidden from Matt. Frequent visits from the man himself brought the redhead closer to discovering just what it was exactly that had Mello drinking again like he used to during the kira case. Time after time Matt questioned the blond regarding his behavior, but Mello always found a way out of the questioning, instead directing the both of their focus onto an entirely different subject. Matt took notice, but he kept his mouth shut. If Mello didn't want to talk about it, Matt wouldn't force him. That didn't mean that he wouldn't remain concerned.
The months passed by for Mello in a haze, continually filled with lustful nights and regretful mornings. Many times Matt came close to exploding and demanding that Mello tell him what the fuck was going on, why he was in a constant daze and seemingly losing touch with the real world. But he kept his cool, he had to. He couldn't stand to lose his best friend due to his own uncontrolled emotions; he wouldn't.
And then one day, as Matt was walking by Mello's window in order to get to the front door, he heard a quiet moan of his name, followed by a hitch of breath. Matt froze in his steps, eyes widened and a blush appearing on his face. His thoughts ran in circles as he pieced together Mello's strange behavior over the past few months, and to what he just heard. Shaking his head he ran to Mello's door and pounded with both fists on the fake wood door. Exactly six minutes passed before the door opened slowly, revealing a very calm-looking Mello.
Matt considered the fact that he had only been hearing things, until he caught a glimpse of the laces on Mello's pants. They were slightly untied, which was odd for the blond, since he usually kept them nice and tight.
Noticing the look on Matt's face, Mello stepped aside and let him in, closing the door immediately and staring right at Matt's back.
"So, do you want to tell me what's going on?" Matt asked after lighting up a smoke. He turned around and faced Mello, giving him a firm look and waiting for a response.
Mello gulped. "What do you mean?"
"Don't give me that shit, Mello. I know what's been up with you lately, why you've been drinking again and why you've been acting so fucking weird around me." Matt was angry, that much was noticeable, and it honestly scared Mello.
"Matt, I..." Before the blond could say anything more, Matt had him against the wall, tongue snaking out to lick along his jaw line, hips pressed closely together. A moan escaped Mello's mouth as Matt's sinful tongue licked a trail to his neck, and his hands slid to the small of his back.
"Mello, you're a devious little bastard, you know that?"
"I…wha-?" His eyes slipped closed as Matt's hands began to untie the laces of his pants.
"You think I didn't know what was going on?" Calloused fingers slipped inside of the open pants, lightly stroking the hardening flesh. "Well, I didn't. Just figured it out right before walking through your door." A hand wrapped around the fully erect flesh. Mello's eyes widened and his breath came in short, rough gasps.
It was hard to believe that this was actually happening, and that maybe his mind was fucking with him. But his thoughts shattered as Matt's thumb pressed hard against the tip of his penis. He bucked his hips for more contact.
"Yeah, you like this, don't you?" Matt teased, and he continued stroking until Mello tensed, and he stopped and Mello whimpered.
"Matty, why did you-?"
"Shut the fuck up, Mello." Matt's hands flew up to Mello's neck and wrapped around it. He squeezed lightly at first, then harder as he shouted obscenities at him. "You're a disgusting slut, you know that? I can't believe God allowed you to live."
Tears streamed down Mello's face as the words sunk deep into his heart. He didn't try to fight Matt off, or struggle for air as the life was literally squeezed out of him. What had he expected from Matt? Absolutely nothing.
"I fucking hate you now," and the words didn't make sense anymore. They scrambled together and Matt's image blurred as black spots formed in his vision, before a mass of them clouded his eyes, and he knew no more.
Matt watched with sick satisfaction as Mello's limp body slumped to the floor.
"Fucking creep. You didn't belong here anyways." And he walked out of Mello's apartment.