Elliot's POV

I remember it all so clearly. The last conversation we had. The last time I saw her and really spoke to her. The last time I saw her.

"What is wrong with you?" I hear John ask me. We were talking to a suspect and I pushed him up to the wall and started choking him. Olivia tried to get me off of him but I wouldn't, instead I pushed her into a wall. She hit her head and fell to the ground.

"I-I don't know." I said breathing heavy. "How is she?"

"She's ok, but right now she just wants to know if you're ok. I don't get her. If I were her I wouldn't give a damn about you right now, but she keeps asking about you. She told Cargen she isn't pressing charges. Your very lucky to have a partner like her, Stabler. The thing is your losing her." John said and walked away.

'What did he mean by that? I'm losing her. How?'

I walk into the crib where Olivia is. Cargen and Fin are talking to the suspect that I had tried to choke. Munch… well I don't know where he is. I look in and there she is. Sitting up on the bed putting on her boots. I walk in.

"How are you feeling?" I ask.

"I'm ok. Are you?"

"Olivia I just pushed you into a wall. You should be charging me or something. I could've put you in a coma. Your asking me if I'm ok while I could've done that to you."

"Elliot I know you didn't mean it. You lost your temper. It happens to everyone. Plus you have enough to handle with right now." She said getting up. I watch her walk to the squad room and I follow her.

"Liv?"

"Yeah, el." She said putting on her coat and for the first time in weeks I saw something different about her. I could see her jeans falling off of her and her once small shirt hanging off of her too. O looked into her eyes. They lost that warm feeling. That spark. She looked pale.

"How have you been really?"

"I've been ok Elliot. Don't worry about me." She said smiling at me, but it was fake. Actually come to think of it all her smiles lately have been fake.

"You lost weight and you look different. Why?"

"Elliot…. Nothing is wrong."

"A few minutes ago john said I'm losing you. And it's true. Your different. I've been an asshole lately."

"Elliot that is not true. I mean yes you have been cranky, but you were not a asshole. I have to go home. Take care Elliot." She said walking away. She disappears into the dark hallways. I hear cargen call my name and walk into his office and sit down.

"I'm sorry Captain."

"For what? The guy confessed. I se you finally notice Olivia's change."

"Yeah. Did she tell you what is wrong?"

"No, but Haung has been keeping a close eye on her and he thinks she might commit suicide. Do you believe that?"

"Well not really I mean this is Olivia were talking about she wouldn't do that."

"Ok just watch out and if you see any cuts on her tell me. And Elliot you might wanna go see Haung. Get some things off your chest."

"Ok thanks cap."

Morning came and we were all working. Olivia called in sick so I was on the desk. Nothing came in so we all just played around. It was eight PM and cargen told us to go home. I went to my apartment. I brought it a month ago since I moved out. The divorce was final now. In the middle of the night I wake up to my phone ringing.

As soon as I heard something happened to Olivia I drove to her apartment as quickly as I could. When I got there I saw the police and an ambulance. I walk up the stairs and I see Cargen, Munch and Fin there. They had sad faces on. John looked like he was crying. I walk into her apartment and I see the CSU team gathered around something in the bathroom. I walk into the bathroom and there I see Olivia's lifeless body on the ground.

Both her wrists were slit and her blood was seeping onto the white bathroom tiles. Her face pale. I couldn't help it. I dropped to my knees right next to her. I put my head on her stomach and I cry 'come back'. I say it over and over, but she doesn't seem to come back. Just two days ago I spoke to her, what I didn't know was that would be the last time.

It's been two weeks since her death and now I am standing in the grave yard with Cargen, Munch, Fin, Casey and some victims she helped over the years. We stand here and watch as they brier her. I cry as her casket goes down. On her grave stone it read:

Olivia Benson

January, 29, 2006

Partner, friend, and daughter

It's been a month now since her funeral. We are all now cleaning her apartment out. I went to her desk she had in the corner of her apartment. I saw a note on her desk and it was addressed to me. I opened it and read it;

Dear Elliot,

You are probably mad at me for killing myself. I have something to tell you. Something I couldn't tell you in years. I love you. I forgive you for that little push you gave me in the interrogation room. I don't want any of you sulking around. I want you guys to go about your days as if nothing happened. Do not think a bottle is an answer because it's not.

I hope you go on with life because id you don't I'll haunt you till you die. I'll be watching over you Elliot remember that.

Love,

Liv.

A/N ok. Pointless I know, but it popped into my head so I wrote it. I hope ya'll liked it! R&R