Opening my eyes, I found myself in Trevor's apartment, laying on the futon. I sat up slowly. I turned my head towards the bedroom. It looked like no one was home. Standing up, I heard quiet voices outside. I ran outside, busting through the door and looking to my left. I was greeted with the sight of a barbeque and everyone I had met around it. Michael and Franklin tending to the meat. Amanda and her children hanging out on some beach chairs, with Wade and Floyd chatting with Ron nearby. Trevor came out of nowhere, saying my name,
"Lily." A smile formed on his face as he wrapped on arm around my waist, pulling me towards everyone.
Sudden yelling made my eyes shoot open. Looking around, I wasn't in Trevor's trailer or my own home, rather a car. There was an ache on my side from laying on the seat belt receiver. It became clear that I couldn't move my hands and that they were behind my back. Slowly sitting up, I tried to listen to the yelling. It was incomprehensible, all gibberish. I quickly moved my hands under my legs and feet, bringing them in front of me. Are you for real? I was pretty sure the last thing I remembered was an FIB agent capturing me, and for some reason, don't ask me why, but I was pretty sure they would have double lock handcuffs. Those, you would need a lock pick for, which I don't have, but tightly around my wrists were zip ties, the easiest things to take off. Sighing, I turned my hands around to look a them. They were black, definitely heavy duty, pulled as tightly as they could be. Moving the main knot to directly between my hands, I raised them above my head and practically slamming them down towards my stomach, breaking the zip tie in half. I rubbed my wrists, and then carefully looked behind me. Directly behind the vehicle were three figures, their backs towards me. Two were incredibly tall, and thin. The third one had a bit of weight on him. Looking at them closely, I realized it was Haines, Norton and, who I have to guess to be, Weston. Looking around some more, I saw Trevor, Franklin and Michael in the distance. I couldn't see their facial expressions too clearly but it was pretty obvious they were angry.
In a flash all six pulled out their guns. A small piece of me panicked and quickly moved to the driver's seat. As I was attempting to pull down the steering wheel column, something shiny caught my eye from the car door. A gun, so small like a beretta nano. Grabbing it, and quickly looking backwards, the standoff was still on. The yelling growing louder. I pulled down the compartment, quickly finding the bundle of wires with the starter. Looking back again, I felt more panic as I turned back. Pulling out the battery and ignition wires, I found I had nothing to pull back the covering. Opening up the center console, a small pocket knife shined at the bottom. Grabbing it quickly, I returned my attention back to the bundle. Hopefully I don't get electrocuted. I quickly stripped part of the wires and put them together. A spark, and the radio in the middle of the console turned on. Quickly cutting a piece of the leather seat, I placed it over the wires, twisting them together. I grabbed and stripped the starter wire. With the connection of the three, the engine came to life. I revved the engine twice, before quickly placing it in reverse. Looking back, the three men closest to me, now stood looking at the vehicle curiously. I stepped on the gas, flying backwards into one of the men and slamming on the breaks. I heard a loud thud and quickly put it in park. Keeping low, I quickly opened the door, pulled the gun, aimed and fired at the man who stood closer to me. The bullet went through the man's leg, and he cried out in pain, falling to the ground with a hard thud. I stood up slowly, gun ready, when I heard a cock behind my head. Dave spoke,
"Now let's just take this nice and easy."
"Sure." I dropped the gun, and turned around. Quickly grabbing the man's wrists, I aimed the gun downward, pulling him down. As he lost balance and fell forward, I rammed my knee in his chin. He fell back, then onto his knees, as I grabbed the top of the door and slammed it into his face, causing him to fall. I took the gun from his hands and the one I dropped, then carefully moved around the car. Stepping around, I looked for the guy I backed into, only to find him out cold at the back bumper. As I carefully took his gun, the man screaming in pain, began to direct his words at me.
"You stupid fucking bitch! You shot me!"
"Wow, good job captain obvious. Now give me your gun, or I'll shoot your other leg."
"I have a marathon to run!"
"Welp, looks like two legs are going to be out of business then." I cocked the gun, and with fear in his eyes, he threw his gun, dragging to a stop in front of me.
"Thank you." I stepped on the gun gently. Footsteps stopped beside me. Turning my head I saw the other three standing next to me, Trevor and Michael clearly out of breath.
"Holy… fuck…" Michael tried to control his breathing to speak more, but instead he had a coughing fit.
"Oh man, you need to work out more." Trevor joked, breathing heavily.
"Shut the fuck up." Michael said gaining composure.
"Goddamn, Lester wasn't kiddin' about your credentials. But what about these fools now?" Franklin motioned to the three injured men; two out cold and one now groaning in pain. I shrugged my shoulders. Haines and Norton still looked the same, it had been a while since we had last seen each other. Weston, though, I had heard his name pop up from time to time, and he looked exactly like I pictured him; a complete asshole.
"That's your call. Also, congratulations, you're the lucky winner of three guns." I walked to Franklin and dropped all of the guns into his hands, one falling to the ground.
"We could smoke them." Trevor suggested. Michael shook his head,
"No… we'll be in more trouble if we do that. Frank and I will deal with this. Trevor, take Lily back to your trailer. We'll meet you there."
"Sounds like a plan." Trevor agreed as he motioned with his head for me to follow. "We came here to rescue you and yet here you are, kicking ass on your own." I laughed as we walked towards the vehicle.
As we drove off in Trevor's truck, I felt a large hand grasp mine tightly. Looking at Trevor, I could tell his whole body was trembling. Was he anxious about what happened? As he stopped in front of the trailer, he gave my hand a quick squeeze before both of us getting out. He held the door open for me, which was odd… to say the least. I was on edge the whole time, unsure what was going to happen. As soon as I was in the middle of the kitchen, he slammed the door, turning towards me with tears in his eyes, yelling,
"What. The. Fuck were you thinking?!" Confused I yelled back,
"About what?" Leaving? Knocking out two guys and only shooting on in the leg?
"About fucking leaving! I gave you a goddamn choice!" The confusion became overtaken by anger.
"I understand you gave me a choice, but I couldn't take it! You took me from my home! What else was I supposed to do?! Just agree?! I told you I needed to see things for myself! I couldn't just sit back and wait for the rest of my life run off without and me not know! I can't just sit back and be a "good hostage", a "good prisoner" just because you want piece of mind! How do I know, you weren't just going to lie to me so that you could keep me here?! I barely know you and the things I do know are mostly negative!"
"Then you could have gotten to know me!"
"Why?! You're the one who kidnapped me! How does that make any sense? The first time we met, I watched you murder a man in cold blood and you held a gun up to my head! I don't know the reason for it, for all I know he could have cut you off in traffic or looked at you the wrong way but I don't think the reason matters! Don't you hear how any of this sounds? And if I did try to get to know you then wouldn't that feel like you were being manipulated? Like I'm being manipulated? What kind of person do you take me for?" My voice cracked near the end and tears began to form in my eyes. The man who Trevor had shot in the head flashed quickly in my mind. Focusing back at Trevor, his hands were still in clenched fists, face full of different emotions as if he was going to crumble at any moment. His whole body was shaking terribly as he tried to stop raising his voice,
"I'm just saying, you could have asked." He groaned, and covered his face with his hands. "I'm just… just… I know you're smart. You're… you're not like other women… you don't hurt me, manipulate my feelings or-or-or anything like that." Tears begin to trickle down his face. "I-I-I've never felt like this about anyone… I don't know what to do. I don't know how to feel, to act, or-or-or what to say. Everything I do seems to be mistake, a-a-and I can't seem to get myself out of this continuous hole of failing to do anything you like or want." He fell onto his knees, and began to wail. I wasn't expecting him to just flip out. "I just want to be with you! I want to be happy! I know what I've done is wrong and I can't go back! But I want another chance! I want to restart all of this!" He continued to look at me with wide eyes, tears streaming down his face, "Please." He whimpered. "Please, please, please, please, give me another chance!" He began to slam his hands into the floor, the sound booming and shaking the entire trailer. "Idiot, idiot, idiot! I can't do anything right!" He began to slam his head against the floor.
I stood shocked, wide-eyed and unsure how to act. Sounds stuttered out of my mouth but none would form into words. I looked around, wishing someone else was here to deal with the situation. I looked back at Trevor. I kept thinking back to the dreams I had been having, how in everything single one, I was with him or running to him. I don't know what kind of sign that was or if he was just messing with me head. I also didn't know how to feel about any of it either. What was our relationship now? What will happen from here on out? Why do I keep having dreams of somebody who I think I feel neutral or should have negative feelings towards? My actions from here on out were the only things that were going to define our relationship. I didn't want to make the wrong choice, and me regret it later, but at the same time; sometimes you just have to go with what you think is right or what you want.
I quickly walked towards Trevor, his forehead pressed hard against the floor of the trailer, and set myself down in front of him, gently placing my knees on the floor.
"Trevor." Trevor didn't move. "Trevor!" Trevor sniffled, and slowly picked up his head. Tears streaked his entire face, his eyes were already puffy almost as if he had been crying for days, and his forehead bore a dark red mark.
"Listen to me Trevor." His eyes, dull, looked at me. "I want to make this very clear. I am beyond confused right now. I have no idea what to feel, what to say or how to make anything better at this point. The question I've been continuously asking myself is; what are we? I am here willingly, but I have no idea what that makes us, or how that changes our relationship. A piece of me is such a weak person and wants to give in, say let's start over and be with you. But a larger piece, my instincts, my moral values, my heart, my mind, everything is telling me, that… that wouldn't be okay. That it wouldn't work. We are very different people. You live a free and dangerous life that you made yourself, and I've constructed mine out of experience and the time I spent trying to find myself, a purpose. You are a drug addict through the core, an alcoholic and a whole bunch of other not so great things. I'm none of those things. You seem like the type of person who wants to be free, stay free, not be tied down by someone who is the complete opposite in thinking. Think about it. Could you stand the idea of not doing most of those things anymore? Those are so destructive towards yourself that... I don't think I'd want to be with a person who's slowly killing themselves or putting themselves into dangerous situations that would get themselves killed. That's essentially just letting me watch someone I love die. I don't want you to change yourself so that you can make me happy while dragging yourself down in the process. If someone wants to change, it should be for themself. A relationship isn't about changing someone to mirror someone like yourself or to put under your control so that you have some type of control in your life either; it's about coming together as a team, working towards the problems together, and jumping over hurdles that one person wouldn't normally be able to make on their own. It's two people versus a problem, not two people versus each other. I want you to be happy too, even if it means that we can't be together, because I don't want to take anything away from you and I don't want you to take anything from me." Near the end of it, I couldn't hold in my tears, and they began to trickle down my face. "If… If I want to be with someone, I want to be with that person to the end. I… I can't stand to lose someone to something that is preventable or can be helped. What I want and what you want are two very different things." Silence set on between us. After what seemed like an eternity, Trevor spoke in a low, raspy voice.
"I… I think… I think maybe we should just go into it head first." Huh? "Who cares if this relationship is destined for failure? If the inevitable is, that one of us will die or leave; let's just focus on the two of us now, in the moment. Sometimes the best thing to do, is to go in as if inevitability doesn't exist and set the stones down ourselves of how our relationship should be defined and what we should do, as we go. Why let inevitability define who we love, who we can be and share experiences with?" He took of my hands into his own. "Let's just take this leap of faith in each other, and figure things out as we go.I want to be with you, and even if those feelings aren't the same in a few years, I want to experience the love that you would give to another person. I live in the now, maybe you should try too." Everything about his face, his body were just pleading me to say something, make a decision in his favor. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. I knew from the start there were going to be so many difficulties and hurdles to go over. Trevor had a lot of baggage that would be difficult to shed and carry. I felt large hands on my face, thumbs rubbing my cheeks and Trevor's voice ringing through my ears,
"Don't think about, it's either yes or no. Whatever comes by instinct alone." Opening my eyes, his face was close to mine, our foreheads pressed up against each others. Instinct…. Instinct. A gut feeling alone pushed my mind to an answer.
"Yes."