Zexion doesn't trust easily.
It comes from knowing how to bend the truth to suit you. How to weave lies with little effort. How to manipulate.
From knowing how easy it can be if you know what your doing.
But more than that, it comes from experience.
He wouldn't be who and what he is today if not for blind trust.
Ienzo was trusting. He believed every word Xehanort spoke. How their research would do so much good for the world. How Master Ansem would be so proud of them. How they would all be okay.
But something went wrong. There was a mistake somewhere along the lines. A miscalculation.
And all was lost in a single moment.
And there was Xehanort-though no longer Xehanort-wracked with guilt over the outcome. Or at least the memory of guilt. He couldn't feel it anymore. But he remembered what guilt was.
He'd fix it. They'd fix it. They'd find a way.
The people they had been were gone. And in their place, mere shadows. Empty shells. With memories that meant nothing. Bonds that meant nothing. Devoid of feeling.
Xemnas became their leader, and once again they followed like blind, stupid sheep.
Zexion still believed in Xemnas as Ienzo had believed in Xehanort.
He was still so young and grasping for something, anything to hold on to that was familiar. And Xehanort still smiled and gave his tiny hand a reassuring squeaze-everything was going to be okay. As long as they stuck together. They were still a family, weren't they? Hadn't they always been? The six of them were brothers even if they shared no blood.
But time changes things. Memories fade. The continuous effort of keeping up the facade of feeling grows wearisome.
Emptyness only grows deeper and darker.
Xemnas stops smiling and Zexion grows up.
And trust breaks.
Suspicion and distrust take it's place. Fed by the years that pass with them no closer to regaining what was lost. Xemnas talks often of how much closer they get to their goal each day. How it will all be worth it in the end. But now his promises seem cold and empty. And Zexion has trouble believing his words as he used to.
Doubt sinks in like a cold, dead weight within him.
What if Xemnas' goal is not to regain their hearts? What if he has some grander scheme? What if this was what he'd wanted all along?
What if there wasn't a miscalculation?
What if he'd planned for them to fall into darkness?
He clings futiley to past bonds. But Xigbar's sense of humor has darkened. Xaldin's compassion has turned to cold calculation. Vexen's guidance has ceased entirely. Lexaeus' no longer plays the role of their protector.
Xemnas is most likely mad.
And Zexion has turned to lies and manipulation.
They've come so far from who they were. Perhaps by now there is no way to return. Perhaps the only way forward is to further sink into darkness.
And yet he still clings to the hope. Now just a tiny thread of light amid the darkness. What happens when that tiny bit is extinguished? Will they be met with despair? Defeat? Death?
None of them even try to pretend at caring for one another anymore.
Darkness consumes all.
~Owari~