The pain from the Ori's soldier's shot was indescribable. As she fell to the ground, Sam knew that this was it. She'd had injuries before, too many to count. But this one was different, through the haze of pain somehow she knew she wasn't getting home this time.

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

"My laptop. There's a file," gasped Sam. "In my personal directory. Letters mostly. There's one to Cassie. Some other people. Password is fishing."

Cameron Mitchell knew that Sam Carter was trying to prepare him for what she knew was inevitable. He was going to do all that he could to ensure that she made it back to the SGC in one piece, but he also had to be fair to her. Over-the-top optimism wasn't going to hack it this time. He owed it to her to listen, to take in what she was saying, and to reassure her that he would ensure that her wishes - likely her last wishes - were carried out. So he nodded, taking her hand. "Gonna do all we can, Sam. But I heard you, and I won't forget. I swear. But I want you to know we're going to do everything we can to get you home. I just need you to stay strong, so you can change that password when we both get out of here." Sam nodded her head at this compromise. It was obviously the easiest way for him to deal with it. And in some ways it made it easier for her too.

Not that she was giving up; no way. She knew how much she had to lose, and she was going to fight every inch of the way to get back to her wonderful family. But as she felt herself get weaker, she realized that, realistically, it was going to take a miracle.

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

Sam's back arched in pain. Cam scrambled to get her yet another shot of morphine, but as he lifted the blanket to inject her, she weakly pushed his hand away. "Wait, I need to think clearly," she gasped, "there might still be a way." Sweat beaded on her brow; the pain was coming in waves now. Her bandages were flooded with blood, and she knew that it would not be much longer. If she could just figure out a way to interface the crystal from the Ori staff weapon with the device, they might be able to shield the village in time. She could taste the bitter tang of blood in the back of her throat. Internal bleeding. Well, that figured, you don't get a hole that size in your stomach without some major organ damage. She just needed to keep it together until Mitchell had activated the device to cover the whole village. That would be worth it.

"You want me to use this,? asked Cam, holding up the crystal.

Weakly, Sam replied, breathing raggedly, "The power crystal in Merlin's device was depleted. That's why we needed the naquadah generators."

"I'm sorry, is that not apples and oranges?" enquired Mitchell, "Ancient and Ori technology is similar. We can make it work for a short time. Put the crystal in the back of the device." With the last of her reserves, Sam talked Mitchell through the process.

"What's next?" asked Cam.

"Laptop," wheezed Sam. She pray that she'd manage to complete the process before... complete the process in time.

"Sure you wanna do this?" asked Cam.

Sam nodded grimly.

He helped to lever her into position. The pain was blinding, Sam could feel her flesh tearing. She coughed, blood pouring from her mouth.

"Oh God, Sam," cried Mitchell, distraught, wiping the blood away.

She weakly pushed his hand away, reaching for the laptop. With shaking hands she typed in the relevant codes. She hit enter, and then convulsed as the pain became overwhelming. Cam held her in his arms, could see she was trying to say something. He put his ear to her mouth. "Jan't ... love her."

With a final shuddering breath, Sam collapsed in his arms.

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

My darling Cassie,

I'm writing this letter in the hope that you never read it. But if you are reading it, then it has happened. I am so sorry, my love, to be leaving you. You have been a wonderful daughter to me, and to Janet, and I want you to know that you have meant the world to us both.

My life only truly opened up when you came into it. I had always thought I was happy before, but your arrival changed everything. I will always regret the way that you came into our lives - losing your family, your friends, everything that had ever meant anything to you - but I have never for one second regretted that you came. Nothing prepared me for the joy that parenting brings, and I feel truly blessed to have experienced it with the perfect daughter. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for that incredible gift.

And of course, if it hadn't been for you scheming behind the scenes, Janet and I may never have got together. And that would have been a tragedy.

I want you to know that my dying is not a tragedy. You've always known everything about the job that I do, and its risks, and you know what a privilege it has been for me to do it. I've seen and done things most people never even dream about. I've worked with amazing people. I've experienced all different cultures, different technologies, different faiths. And I've had the honor of working with the very best, and truly I have loved it. If, as it now seems, my luck has finally run out, then so be it. Know that I died happy and fulfilled. Know that I died loving you. My only regret is the people that I leave behind, you and my beloved Janet most of all.

Look forward now. You have an exciting future in front of you. Follow your dreams, find love, seize every moment. And be happy, that's all I ask.

I'll be watching over you.

With all my love,

Sam

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

Dear Jack,

I can call you Jack, now, right? In my mind you've always been Jack to me and hey, you'll only get to read this after my death, so I reckon I get to call the shots.

I wanted you to know what an honour it has been to work with you. You have always been the best, nobody has ever come close. Yes, there were times that I disagreed with your decisions, but I always respected them, and your reasons for making them. You are a truly compassionate soldier, and if there were more people like you serving in the armed forces, this country - and this world - would be a better place.

I thank you for your friendship, your love. You, Daniel and Teal'c are part of my true family and I have always valued your presence in my life, in our lives. The way you three have acted as surrogate fathers to Cassie has brought so much happiness to her, and to us. And the way you all accepted, encouraged even, my relationship with Janet, has meant a great deal. I have had a wonderful life, that has been so enriched by you all. I have known true happiness, how many of us can say that? I pray that you will again find the happiness you had with Sarah, the happiness you deserve. I have missed you since your move to Washington, but I still care deeply what happens to you, and pray that you find someone who deserves you, though she'll have to be a very special lady.

So please don't mourn me, remember me with pleasure, with gladness, with laughter. Remember how much you have meant to me, and know that I am happy to die in the service of my country, my world.

Take care of Janet and Cassie for me, they'll need you.

With fondest love,

Carter

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

Jan,

As I write this, I pray that you never have to read it.

I am so sorry, honey, that I didn't retire when you asked me to. I need you to believe me absolutely when I say that I wanted to. I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life in comfort and security with you and Cassie. That's all I wanted, and all I needed.

But you know better than most the threats that we face out there. And you know that I could not risk these threats reaching Earth. I know that in some realities Sam Carter had to watch as her Janet and Cassie were caught up in an apocalypse. I just couldn't bear that. So please know that I have done only what I truly believed had to be done.

Make no mistake, though, I have loved my job. I have been happy and fulfilled, and I have worked with the best that there is. I have seen some amazing things, had some incredible experiences. Yes, there have been some damned distasteful things along the way, but on the whole my time with SG-1 has been wonderful.

But of course, until I got together with you, my love, I had never really understood what it was to be truly, deliriously happy. Why had I not known that before? I thank God every day that Cassie conspired to get us together. You have brought so much joy to me. I hadn't realized before our first kiss - you remember our first kiss, right, overlooking the bay? - that there really are angels walking around this Earth, and that you are the most perfect of them all. And brave, and strong, and beautiful, and indescribably tender. I have loved every moment that I have spent with you, every day at work, on holiday, doing the chores, cleaning the car, just being together. Even the arguments, though we never have argued much, have we? Every minute, every second has been a blessing. And the nights, during which I discovered the true meaning of love, of beauty, of ecstasy. Making love to you was the greatest, the purest, joy to me, and waking up in the morning, with your beautiful body next to mine, your breast in my hand. Truly, I have been happier than anyone deserves to be.

My last thoughts on this Earth will be of you. And my only regret is leaving you and Cassie behind. I pray that you will be able to move on. I can't bear the idea of you being unhappy. I want you to find somebody else, to find happiness again. Know that I loved you more than life, than air. And know that we will see each other again.

Your ever-loving,

Sam

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

Janet and Cassie decided not to attend Sam's memorial service. Janet wasn't sure she could hold it together in front of Cassie, and Cassie didn't want her mother to go through any more than she already had. And, as Janet reasoned, what could they possibly say that she didn't already know? That Sam was a great person? That she was a model soldier? That she was a brilliant scientist? That she was the best, most loving, most loyal friend there had ever been? Janet knew all that. And she also know, which they didn't, what a loving, tender, wonderful wife and mother she was. They didn't know that she was completely irreplaceable. They had no idea what a huge hole Sam had left in Janet's life. So she didn't need to hear what they had to say. She knew already.

So instead she and Cassie went to Jack's cabin, where they spent a week crying, laughing, looking at photos, talking about Sam, consoling each other.

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

20 years later

"Cassie, come here and help me with this cake," called Janet. She had just collected the huge cake that she had had made for Cassie's 40th birthday. She couldn't believe that their little girl - her little girl, she reminded herself - was about to reach 40. Suddenly Janet felt very old. She was going to be 60 herself next year, she realized, so perhaps she was very old? Since losing Sam, time had seemed almost irrelevant; her own 40th had passed in a blur.

Janet had tried to do what Sam asked, she'd tried to go on with her life. She hadn't been able to remain at the SGC, though, that was asking too much. She'd stayed for nearly six months, but found that every time she heard the sirens, she kept expecting Sam to step back through the wormhole as if nothing had happened. And she couldn't bring herself to walk past Sam's lab, even to venture onto the same level. So she had quit the SGC, and gotten herself a job at the local Memorial Hospital. To start with she worked mainly in the emergency room, figuring that keeping herself frantically busy would help keep her mind off Sam. Of course it didn't, but it did offer the benefit of exhausting her to such an extent physically that she was finally able to sleep. It wasn't the sort of sleep she had enjoyed, curled in her lover's arms, but at least it was sleep of some sort.

After a year or two, she transferred to the surgical ward, which was still busy but in a more ordered fashion. And eventually, she settled down into a life of sorts. She watched Cassie mature, get her medical degree - top marks, of course. And it was with trepidation that she waved Cassie off to do voluntary work in Africa. "I've got to give something back, Mom," Cassie had argued. "I was so lucky when I was a kid to be found by you and Sam. Many of the kids out there have nothing, they have nobody. I'm just going for six months, I need to make a difference, however small." In the end, Cassie had stayed nearly four years. The compassionate young woman had been unable to tear herself away. Janet was happy for her, on one of her three visits out to see her, she realized she had never seen Cassie so fulfilled; and she was thrilled to see what a superb doctor she was. Sam would have been so proud.

Eventually, Cassie had returned home, and had settled less than an hour from Janet. She got a good job at a specialist cancer hospital, and had moved mostly into research, where she had since made a name for herself as a leader in the field. After a few years, she had met and married John Robins, a teacher, and eight years ago, her first baby had been born. At the christening, Janet had been almost overwhelmed to hold Samantha Eve Robins. She would never replace her Sam, but it was a good start at least. Young Samantha was followed three years later by Matthew Jack Robins.

And now Cassie was about to celebrate her 40th, a milestone in anybody's life. Janet was determined to make it memorable for her. In consultation with John, she had invited everybody who had ever been important to Cassie, including two of her colleagues with whom she had worked in Africa, which would be a tremendous surprise; while she had kept up with them, and continued to exchange Christmas and birthday cards, she had not seen them in nearly 15 years. Janet also invited Jack, Daniel, Teal'c, Cameron and Vala.

She had remained in close contact with them all since losing Sam, particularly Jack, Daniel and Teal'c, who had been devastated by Sam's death. Jack had immediately resigned from the military, and despite many pleas from the air force had never been back to the SGC. Daniel had remained there, working purely on the research side, examining artefacts and videos of sites that had been visited by other SG teams. He had never again gone through the 'Gate, explaining that it didn't feel right without Sam.

Cam and Vala joined SG-2, refusing to rebuild SG-1, and to that day SG-1 had never reformed. They duo had become an indomitable pair, achieving much with their usual panache and derring-do. This all came to a halt 10 years ago, though, when Cam had bravely rescued a child from the jaws of a vicious beast on an alien planet. He, and the child, had survived, but the muscles in his left arm were severely damaged, so he no longer had any independent movement in the limb. He was sanguine about it; he merely tucked the withered arm into his left pocket, almost jauntily, and seemed not to let it get him down. He now lectured cadets on surviving in the field, and no recruit questioned his abilities to strip a gun down to its component parts in record time. It was remarkable what he could do with one hand. So Vala now worked more often with Daniel again, working on translations and sometimes coming up with answers that seemed completely wacky but often turned out to be correct. She had also become quite the scientist.

Teal'c spent most of his time on Chulak, rising to become the planet's ambassador to Earth, where he was always very warmly welcomed.

And Jack, whom everybody had assumed would hide out in his cabin, surprised them all by selling it, and moving to a small place near Janet. He had remained near her, ostensibly running a small charter aircraft business, but in reality so that he could offer support to Carter's widow and daughter. And Janet loved him for it. He was now nearly 75, but was as vital and strong as ever, his impish humour keeping them strong. Sometimes Janet could detect the sadness behind his eyes, but he refused to show it in front of her.

"I'm coming Mom," laughed Cassie. "Just how many people is this monster supposed to feed? We're not living in biblical times, you know, we don't have 5,000 to feed!"

Janet slapped her lightly on the back. "I'm not having people complaining we don't give them enough to eat," she said. "And I'm sure your two will be only too happy to take the rest of it home."

The party was a huge success; Cassie had been overwhelmed to see everybody there, and had been quite choked up when they all called on her to give a speech. Stumblingly, she thanked them all for being there, told them all how much it meant to her. She thanked Janet for a wonderful childhood and for her continued valued presence in her life. And she concluded with a very moving tribute to Sam, "without whom I wouldn't be here now, and who showed me the meaning of love, of decency, of sacrifice."

Janet slipped quietly out of house, and perched quietly on the bench that she used to share with Sam. As she often did, when she wanted to commune with her late wife, she looked up at the stars, convinced that Sam was somehow looking down on her from above. "We did good, hon, didn't we? Our little girl's turned out just fine." And she gave in to the relief of tears.

She didn't notice Vala follow her outside. For once Vala knew to hold back, and it was only as she blew her nose that Vala came over to her. She put her arm round Janet, and pulled her to her. "Thanks," Janet whispered quietly. "Most of the time I can cope, but on big occasions like this, it seems like she only died yesterday."

Vala looked at her, keenly. "Janet," she said, hesitatingly, "I don't know whether I should be telling you this. But I think I must, I think Sam would want me to. And I think you would want me to, I hope I'm not wrong."

Janet looked at her, enquiringly. "Go ahead," she said, "I need to know what you have to say."

So Vala told her about her latest discovery. She reminded Janet of the time that SG-1 had gone back to 1969, and it was only because Hammond had looked up the timing of the solar flares that they were able to return to the right time. "I don't know why I didn't think of this before," said Vala, "but I think I've worked out what we need to do go back in time, to send a message to ourselves in 2007 and stop Sam being killed in that village. If we can do that, the last 20 years won't have happened, and Sam will have been a part of all our lives."

Janet pulled away from Vala, fear in her eyes. Fear that what she was suggesting could actually be attempted. Could she risk trying to get Sam back? Could she cope if it didn't work? Breathing deeply, and slowly, she looked up into Vala's eyes. "We've got to try," she whispered.