Jason's dreams wake him up. Dick comforts him. Then Jason really wakes up.
Jason's eyes snapped open and his hand automatically went to the gun he hid under his pillow.
Before he could fire it, warm fingers found his cheek and wrapped comfortingly around his trembling fingers.
"It's okay, Little Wing." Dick's rich voice rumbled soothingly beside him, moving the hand from his cheek to rub Jason's heaving chest in a placating manner. "It was just a dream."
Jason nodded silently and forced his hand off the cold metal of the gun to take Dick's hand instead. He brought them to his mouth and kissed each of Dick's fingers while he tried to calm his racing heart. Warm. Safe. Home. Whenever Dick was with him these words always came into his thoughts and painted Dick in a glowing light of perfection. Whoever said that perfection didn't exist had never met Dick Grayson. Happy. Love. Mine. The words swam behind his eyes as Dick shifted closer, wrapping his arms around Jason, holding him like the octopus he loved to mimic in moments like these.
"You wanna talk?"
An intense shake of his head.
"That's okay." It was always okay.
With Dick it was always okay. To be mean, violent, a murder, angry and all the bad things that make him the Red Hood was okay. But it was also okay to be himself. To be uncertain, vulgar, funny, happy and all the things that make him Jason Todd. Dick made everything okay.
He gave his nose a quick little kiss.
The corners of Jason's mouth twitched in response. "I love you."
Dick had that huge smile that he always got whenever Jason said "I love you". It was Jason's favorite thing in the whole world so he was constantly telling Dick those three words that made everything perfect.
"Me too, Jay." Another kiss except this one was on his smiling mouth. "Go to sleep. I'll make you pancakes."
"You mean you'll burn me some pancakes, sweetie."
"Keep talking like that, honey, and you won't be getting anything from me for a whole week."
"That's rude." Jason mumbled sleepily into Dick's neck, nestling the strong pulse there and placing little kisses just because he could never have enough of this beautiful man.
Dick's warm hands rubbed soothing circles into his back and settled confidently on his ass groping playfully. "Go to sleep so I can wake you up with some awesome morning sex."
"Promise?"
A warm chuckle. "Promise."
Jason's eyes had only closed for a minute before his alarm clock screeched the time causing him to wake up for real this time.
Cold.
Everything was cold and not okay.
It was not okay because today was the date that Dick died one year ago.
It was stupid. He had wanted to help Jason hunt down some dealers selling to kids. Always the golden boy. Bruce's favorite. Jason's favorite. Stupid. He should've let the Red Hood walk into the building not Nightwing. Stupid. Stupid. Jason should've been the one to die in that drug lab explosion not Nightwing. Not Dick. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
It has been a whole year of not being okay because the person who made everything okay was gone. Dick Grayson, who made the world smile and Jason feel alive was gone.
He was gone and the only person he had to blame was himself.
Jason Todd had killed the world.