Disclaimer: All characters, events, and material related to Frozen are owned by Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee, Shane Morris, and Walt Disney Animation Studios. Currently looking for Cover Art commissions.

Freedom

Elsa curled into herself, silently crying. Elsa doesn't want to cry, much less in front of her sister… or anyone. It couldn't be helped. Her feelings were let free, within the safety of her bedroom walls. She wasn't ready to leave. She wasn't ready to be a queen. She wasn't ready to let go.

Her coronation was coming soon. She fought and resisted it, but it was a reality. It was happening, no matter how much she didn't want it to. So Elsa mentally prepared herself for what was to come. As a queen, she would have to lead the people of Arendelle. She would have the freedom to achieve greatness. Everyone would tell her, "You're going to feel so free!"

But did anyone tell you how hopeless freedom felt?

"You're so brave!" Anna would squeal every time they would cross paths. It was a rare opportunity that they did, but she wasn't able to avoid her completely. She spent most of her life shutting the out, anyway. Still the princess saw her differently in her eyes, like she was a role model, someone to look up to. She wasn't that person.

I don't feel brave… Elsa would think bitterly to herself. All she ever felt was fear and anger and frustration. She couldn't let it go.

Coronation Day was coming nearer and nearer. Elsa was feeling a resentment towards her parents. How could they leave her behind? How dare they leave her behind! With a sister and a kingdom to look after! How could they!

The elder princess caught herself, opening her wide eyes, she noticed she created snowfall in her bedroom. Sparkling white snowflakes dusted over the floor and furniture. She took a deep, calming inhale through her nostrils. Elsa knew she should be more understanding. There was so much that her parents could control. Being washed away to sea was not one of their decisions.

On the eve of her coronation, Elsa and Anna crossed paths. Her younger sister nearly threw her arms around Arendelle's to-be queen, but held herself back. Blue eyes were gleaming brightly, proud of the woman standing before her. "You're so brave!" Anna beamed.

"I don't feel brave…" Elsa muttered to her sister. It wasn't a bitter thought to herself anymore. She finally admitted it out loud. Anything she has decided for herself was selfish. How could she be considered brave?

"But you are!" her sister insisted, with the most sincere, serious face she has ever seen on the younger girl's face. "And…" Anna awkwardly glanced down at her fiddling hands. "Everything is going to work out. You know that, right?" She should believe her, but she doesn't. She wanted to believe, but…

"Yes…" the Queen answered, unconvincing to herself. A part of herself does want to believe that things will be all right. "It's just that… in the moment, it's just really hard," she confessed. It would take some time to convince herself of that, and get used to the idea, but she knew she would be okay…

If only I can control it… she thought fearfully, feeling her fingertips frost over from underneath her gloves. Things will be okay if I can… The idea of running away wasn't a stranger to her, but she restrained herself from the impulse.

It was difficult to let go, and she does not want to let go… but she will. Freedom was not hopeless, and it was time for freedom to help her grow into the queen she was meant to be. It just depended on where she would be able to find that freedom. Was it in Arendelle, with her sister, or was it somewhere else? It was a dangerous question to seek the answer for.

Elsa rested her head on her pillow, forcing herself to get some decent rest for the coronation. She never had to do anything like this before, and so there was that constant fear of wondering if she could make it on her own. She had to take the crown. She knew had to do it. For her parents, for her sister, for Arendelle… Could she do it for herself?

Remember, she told herself. Conceal. Don't feel. Don't let them know. It's only for one day.

End of Freedom

Author's Note: This is technically my second Frozen fic; I wrote an outline for a Modern Day AU shortly after the movie released, but it's not likely I will ever get around to writing it… I doubt this could be considered fiction writing (fanfiction or not) much less venting personal problems, but with the frustration of not being able to finish most projects that I've been writing for nearly a decade, added to the fear of moving out of my childhood home. It somehow translated itself into Elsa.

18 October 2014