A/N: So, I found a document on my computer with a list of Mass Effect-style fairytales, and I couldn't resist making a story about Raela with them. PLEASE NOTE THAT I DID NOT CREATE RAELA'SHEPARD NAR NORMANDY SHE IS THE CREATION OF NUCLEARBUDDHA ON THE BIOWARE FORUM. Thank you. WARNING: may contain d'aaaw.
Little Red Enviro-Suit
15:30 [Standard Earth Time]
Tuesday 31st September 2192
Normandy SR-2
Deck 1
CO's Private Cabin
Commander Shepard couldn't have been happier with the way his life had turned out.
He currently lay with his quarian wife, Tali'Shepard vas Normandy, on their bed in the top deck of the (once) advanced frigate built in secret by Cerberus, the Normandy SR-2. They were watching the TV premiere of Blasto, the Jellyfish Stings 2: This Time It's Personal on the vid screen placed conveniently at an angle near the cabin's aquarium. Tali was cuddled up next to her husband, her helmeted head resting on his chest. Then…
The door to the cabin slid swiftly open and, with a shout of "DADDY!" in ran a quarian child inside a bubble; their quarian child.
"Raela'Shepard nar Normandy, where have you been?" asked Tali in mock anger.
"Have you been down harassing Auntie Jack again?" joined in Shepard. Raela giggled childishly, knowing they were joking. She ran around the bed, and tugged on her father's sleeve. "Daddy! Daddy! Read me story!" she hollered.
Shepard sighed happily, and then said "Alright, then," in a pretend defeated voice. "What do you want me to read?" but Raela had already grabbed a bright red book off of the bedside table and placed it firmly in Shepard's lap. The cover read Big Book of Children's Stories.
"Read." She demanded.
"OK, which bit?" asked the Commander, holding the book open at the table of contents. His daughter squinted at the English font, her 5-year-old mind struggling to pick out what it said. Shepard, however, could read it perfectly well, picking out humourous takes on human fairytales such as:
The quarian Who Cried 'Attack'
The salarian Piper of Tuchanka
Sky Blue and the Seven voluses
Little Red Enviro-Suit
Bluelocks and the Three elcor
Cinderdrella
Finally, Raela jabbed a thick quarian finger at a particular line, and said in the same bossy tone "That one."
Shepard sighed once again. "This one?" He asked. Raela nodded enthusiastically. "…Again?" pushed Shepard; Raela nodded even harder. Shepard turned the pages to the correct one.
"OK then, here I go…" began Shepard, as Raela jumped onto the bed and got cosy between her mother and father.
"Once upon a time, on the quarian homeworld, there was a young quarian girl who was given her first (bright red) environment suit by her grandmother. She loved it and wore it all of the time (How could she not?). Because of this, everybody called her Little Red Enviro-Suit.
One day, Little Red Enviro-suit was asked by her mother to take some specially designed and very expensive nutrient paste to her grandmother, who lived on the other side of the forest.
On the way, a krogan stopped Little Red Enviro-Suit and asked her where she was going. Little Red Enviro-suit had been told not to stop and speak to strange aliens, so she told him quickly that she was heading to her grandmother's cottage on the other side of the forest to deliver some very special nutrient paste. She then carried on towards her grandmother's home. The krogan decided that he was going to steal the paste and sell it for a high price. So, he charged through the forest along a different path to the one Little Red Enviro-suit took. He got to the house first, and broke down the back door. He tied up Little Red Enviro-suit's grandmother and hid her in the cupboard. He then climbed into the grandmother's bed and pulled the covers up to his face. Little Red Enviro-suit arrived at the cottage and was beckoned into the krogan's presence. Little Red Enviro-suit instantly noticed some differences.
"Oh my, grandmother, what large eyes you have!" noted Little Red Enviro-suit.
"All the better to see you with, my dear," replied the krogan.
"Oh my, grandmother, what large ears you have!" said Little Red Enviro-suit suspiciously.
"All the better to hear you with, my dear," was her reply from the krogan.
"Oh my, grandmother, what a large… hump you have!" cried Little Red Enviro-suit.
"All the better to CHARGE AT YOU WITH!" yelled the krogan, abandoning his disguise and running at Little Red Enviro-suit.
At that moment, a quarian Marine burst into the room, having heard the commotion. He instantly understood what had happened. He heroically jumped onto the charging krogan and managed to wrestle him to the ground, and keep him there.
Little Red Enviro-Suit's grandmother was rescued from the cupboard, and shared her nutrient paste with Little Red Enviro-suit and the brave Marine.
…and they all lived happily ever after." Shepard read the last line slowly. Raela'Shepard had been very attentive during the whole reading, and was still in thought after the story had ended. Then, she looked at her father.
"Daddy…?"
"Yes Raela, sweetie?"
"When I get my first enviro-suit, I want it exactly like that one." She cried, jabbing the colour picture of Little Red Enviro-Suit. "Except I want it to be green." She added thoughtfully.
"Oh, really?" asked Shepard playfully.
"Yes, really!" was the ever-enthusiastic response.
"Do you also want Grandma Raan to be locked in a cupboard by a krogan?" joked Shepard, smiling.
"But Daddy! That would never happen!" answered Raela.
"and why's that, Raela?" asked Shepard with a hint of curiosity. Raela looked at him like he was an idiot.
"Because you would be there to stop him, wouldn't you?"
A/N: Wow. That contained a lot more D'Aaww than even I would imagine. Let's see if I can beat it...