(Disclaimer - I own none of these:)
There are worse things...
I really do love him. Everyone around her thinks that I am oblivious to his feelings, or that I feel nothing back. But they don't know, they don't know how it is. I really hate the fact that it has to be like this. Every time I tell him that I'm 'going with Duncan,' or that 'I don't need a ride home.' I see the pain it brings him. I wonder if he truly believes that I don't know. I wonder if he truly thinks I can't see it; the way he always watches out for me, how he makes sure to save a seat with me at lunchtime, even though he knows I'll sit with Duncan. Or all the times that he has taken me out to cheer me up, and the time he saved my life.. I can't imagine how my life would be without him... It's just that whatever hurt I may cause him now, is minimal compared to how I would hurt him if I actually told him that I loved him, the way I do.
I want to feel sorry for myself, but how can I when I look around and see the lovesickness that the rest of my friends feel? They all think that they are keeping it to themselves, but I know. I can read them like a book, with or without my powers.
There's Kitty, and how she simply adores Lance, even though he is of the Brotherhood. I suppose I can understand why. I mean, he's sweet to her. Lance always lets Kitty know that he there for her. Come on, he even joined the team for a little while, to prove his love. It's sad though, because they both know that it would be too hard for them to be together. So they are forced to play this game of Romeo and Juliet. How unfortunate for them, they are separated only by loyalties.
Looking at it from a different perspective, there's Rogue. Everyone knows that she's sweet on Scott. That is, everyone except Scott. I think that's for the best in some ways, for one, it keeps him treating her like a friend. True I may be biased because of my feelings, but whether it was Scott or some other boy, Rogue can never truly have a relationship with someone, someone she can not touch. She is trapped, trapped within herself. This is what keeps her from love.
So how can I think I have it bad? Unlike Kitty and Lance, at least the love of my life is fighting for the same side. And there's no one keeping us apart, not even Duncan. To me, he is just a pass time. A way to escape the mutant life I have. I like him because he is simple, stable; I always know what to expect. Like Rogue, I too am trapped from real love, but not quite as much. Unlike her, I am trapped by my mind, by my fears, and by my desire to not loose the little that I have with Scott.
Yes, my 'family' has worse problems. They have more to overcome in the way of love, than just fear. I sincerely hope that someday I can tell him, not today, not tomorrow, just someday. I just hope he understands how my mind works, I hope it won't be too late for us. for there are worse things than pretending not to love someone..
There are worse things...
I really do love him. Everyone around her thinks that I am oblivious to his feelings, or that I feel nothing back. But they don't know, they don't know how it is. I really hate the fact that it has to be like this. Every time I tell him that I'm 'going with Duncan,' or that 'I don't need a ride home.' I see the pain it brings him. I wonder if he truly believes that I don't know. I wonder if he truly thinks I can't see it; the way he always watches out for me, how he makes sure to save a seat with me at lunchtime, even though he knows I'll sit with Duncan. Or all the times that he has taken me out to cheer me up, and the time he saved my life.. I can't imagine how my life would be without him... It's just that whatever hurt I may cause him now, is minimal compared to how I would hurt him if I actually told him that I loved him, the way I do.
I want to feel sorry for myself, but how can I when I look around and see the lovesickness that the rest of my friends feel? They all think that they are keeping it to themselves, but I know. I can read them like a book, with or without my powers.
There's Kitty, and how she simply adores Lance, even though he is of the Brotherhood. I suppose I can understand why. I mean, he's sweet to her. Lance always lets Kitty know that he there for her. Come on, he even joined the team for a little while, to prove his love. It's sad though, because they both know that it would be too hard for them to be together. So they are forced to play this game of Romeo and Juliet. How unfortunate for them, they are separated only by loyalties.
Looking at it from a different perspective, there's Rogue. Everyone knows that she's sweet on Scott. That is, everyone except Scott. I think that's for the best in some ways, for one, it keeps him treating her like a friend. True I may be biased because of my feelings, but whether it was Scott or some other boy, Rogue can never truly have a relationship with someone, someone she can not touch. She is trapped, trapped within herself. This is what keeps her from love.
So how can I think I have it bad? Unlike Kitty and Lance, at least the love of my life is fighting for the same side. And there's no one keeping us apart, not even Duncan. To me, he is just a pass time. A way to escape the mutant life I have. I like him because he is simple, stable; I always know what to expect. Like Rogue, I too am trapped from real love, but not quite as much. Unlike her, I am trapped by my mind, by my fears, and by my desire to not loose the little that I have with Scott.
Yes, my 'family' has worse problems. They have more to overcome in the way of love, than just fear. I sincerely hope that someday I can tell him, not today, not tomorrow, just someday. I just hope he understands how my mind works, I hope it won't be too late for us. for there are worse things than pretending not to love someone..