About the Author:
Recognized as the only human to survive fifteen simultaneous moose attacks, Buster Manwomb has finally learned that "Moose Milk" is not, in fact, made from its namesake.
Nobody knows why it took them so long. They made the same mistake with Beaver Tails last week.
69 Hues of Mini: Osmosis Jones Witnesses an Organ Orgy
Chapter 1: Autoerotic Contextualization
"Get the fuck out of the way!" said a screaming blood cell, running towards the emergency exit.
"What is going on?" Osmosis Jones said, distracted by the cold pill's sweet gams.
"The organs are fucking!" The crowd screamed s they all rushed to the emergency exits.
Just barely able to resist the current of the crowd, Osmosis Jones and te Cold Pill hung around.
"Wanna watch?" the cold pill asked.
"Fuck Yea."
Chapter 2: The rest of the story.
"Osmosis Jones watched as the brain was looking at the left eye all sexy like.
"Sup."
"Hey." the left eye responded.
"You wan' sum fuk?" The brain asked.
"Sure."
And so the brain bent the eye over, plunging his penis into the left eye's juicy vagina.
As they moaned, grinding their genitals together, the right eye got jealous and stuck his dick into the left eye's mouth, and then into the brain's mouth.
The ears watched, rubbing themselves until the eyes took turns spit roasting them while the brain went downstairs, using the esophagus as a condom while the tongue gave him a blowjob, using the uvula as a butt plug.
Down more stairs, the lungs had started the party, tonguing each other before they invited the brain to fuck the left one, using one of the rib bones as a dildo. Taking the queue, the heart jerked the right lung off while the diaphragm stuck all his fingers in both their asses.
The left kidney was going down on the pancreas while the right kidney was experimenting getting his asshole stuffed by the womb, who had the biggest penis of all the organs.
The liver was all over the twinky little gallbladder, partaking in the sweetest and somehow also the dirtiest sex ever to involve a bare coccyx.
The Ovaries were getting drunk at the bar, earning weird looks and getting no sex since you can't consent while drunk.
The vagina was asexual, and read a book in the corner while the ever-responsible colon made sure all the organs were using fragments of the small intestine as contraceptives.
The muscles in the arms and legs were a bit too far to get directly in on the action, but they all watched sweatily, pleasuring each other with shards of bone.
The whole thing looked like the butcher's section of the climax of the 2017 film Sausage Party, or a high profile wrestling match on the planet John Carpenter's The Thing came from.
Osmosis Jones and the Cold Pill watched sexily as all the organs shared an explosive climax, with veritable sprinklers of cum drenching themselves and each other. Satisfied and drained, all the organs suddenly realized how much of a mess they had gotten into and stopped working, with Osmosis Jones and the Cold Pill dying almost immediately after."
"And that's basically what happened to your mom." The doctor said to a crying Prince Harry. "My condolences. On the plus side, a lot of people are going to start using seat belts now!"