Tangled Up in You

*Hey guys just a reminder...I don't own the Vampire Diaries or the characters or the song lyrics used in this story. All rights own to the writers, producers, singers, etc.*

It's raining when I come in off the street, a cold, constant state of drizzling that seems to compliment my mood perfectly. I don't know what I'm doing almost until I'm doing it. I had told myself I was never going back through the door that suddenly appears in front of me, but I can't seem to stop myself from pushing it inwards to reveal the familiar bar. It's quiet inside; the rain seems to have scared off most of the usual patrons, not that there's many on a Tuesday night anyway.

The bar/restaurant establishment doesn't look like it's changed a bit. The lights are as dim as always, the air just a shade too warm, and there's a slight hum of gentle conversation and the clinking of glasses sounding around me. I wait for it all to hit me, the complete and utter familiarity of the place, but whatever sort of grief I had expected to feel doesn't appear at all. I'm pretty sure that's because I have already consumed enough alcohol to dampen just about everything.

I brush the rain off the shoulders of my coat and run a hand through my long, brunette hair as I wander past table after table. No one looks up as I walk by, and I can't decide wether to be saddened or exhilarated by my invisibility. I find myself at the booth in the back corner purely by habit, the one with the comfiest seat and the best place for secluded conversation. I know it well. Too well.

I slide in, suddenly feeling the urge for another drink. Maybe I'm not as numb as I thought after all. I only have to wait a moment before the waiter comes over. He's got boyish good looks, long blonde hair and blue eyes, and it doesn't take me but a moment to place him. Time hasn't changed him at all. I doubt he could say the same thing of me, if he were to recognize me in the first place.

I don't think he will, but after a moment of looking at me, his mouth widens into a smile.

"Elena," he says. "It's been a long time."

There might be a question behind those words, I'm not sure...but it's one I don't even dare to answer, so I ignore it all together.

"I can't believe you still work here, Robbie," I tell him with as much of a smile as I can muster.

He shrugs. "Can't bring myself to leave," he admits. I nod, although I'm not in a position to agree with him in the least. I left. He left. But Robbie, good old Robbie, is still here.

"The usual?" he asks in my silence.

I shake my head. "Not this time," I tell him. "Something a little stronger perhaps. Could you bring me a...bourbon?"

I almost can't bring myself to say the word. Which is ridiculous, I know that, but the feeling is still there all the same.

He gives me a look at this, but then he just nods and smiles again and tells me it's coming right up.

It better be. It was a mistake to come here after all this time. Where's my numbing sensation? It's fading, and I desperately need it to come back. I wonder if Stefan even knows where I am. I'm sure if I had my phone, there would be a million texts from him. I already know what they would say.

Elena honey where are you?

I'm so sorry...if you tell me what's wrong I promise I'll try to fix it...

I'm worried about you. Please just tell me you're okay?

Except that I'm not okay. Not anymore. And what would I tell him? It wasn't that he had done anything wrong...It's that he is all wrong. We're all wrong.

God if I told him that I'd break his heart.

Robbie comes back then, sliding my glass right down in front of me.

"Here you go, Elena," he tells me. His words are so gentle. I wonder if I look like the mess that I feel, or if he's just picking up on my moody demeanor.

"Thanks," I murmur. Even that one word seems like an effort. I take a drink from my glass hungrily, feeling the familiar burn down my throat.

I'm going to get completely drunk, I think. Drunk enough that I don't remember my name or where I am or Stefan's face when I screamed at him or those eyes...his eyes.

Drunk enough that I don't remember who usual sits across from me or why Robbie raised his eyes when I ordered bourbon or why I'm completely and utterly alone in the one place I used to call home.

I don't want to remember any of it.

I sip at my glass greedily, my eyes starting to smart. I tell myself it's because of the burn of the alcohol, but I know that's not true. I'm crying. I used to cry all the time. And while that sounds like a bad thing, in reality it was very, very good. It meant I could feel, that I expressed emotion, that I was passionate and alive. I don't cry anymore, not until now at least.

I feel like I have been empty for a very long time, but I am just now admitting it.

I hear the microphone click on then, interrupting my rather dark thoughts. There's a little stage at the back of the restaurant...you can't really see it from where I'm sitting, but I can tell without a doubt that Robbie's voice is emanating from that direction. He's announcing someone.

"Please give it up for David Summers," he's saying. There's a polite smattering of applause. I can't help but feel sorry for the poor bastard that's playing tonight. There's no one here to listen.

I glance down. My glass is empty. It's been too short of a time, and Robbie is obviously otherwise preoccupied. He probably didn't imagine I could drink it this fast. No matter. I slide out of the booth, steadying myself on my feet and picking up my tumbler. I'll just bring it up to the bar, get the bartender to refill it again. I can't bear to sit and wait for Robbie to reappear; without a glass in my hands, I don't know if I can take being all alone.

Then... I hear it.

My heart stops at the sound and I freeze in place. I'm not even sure if I'm breathing, all the air is stuck in my chest. The voice is low, somehow husky and smooth at the same time...the sound bourbon would make it if could sing. I know that voice well, maybe even better than my own.

But that's not all, because then I hear the words.

You're my world...the shelter from the rain.

You're the pills...that take away my pain.

You're the light...that helps me find my way.

You're the words...when I have nothing to say.

And in this world

Where nothing else is true

Here I am

Still tangled up in you.

I'm still tangled up in you.

I know these words. I can still see them in my mind, a scrawl of black pen on paper, a confession that weighed on my heart. They still exist somewhere in my drawer... The letters are separated, ripped on the edges...a few pieces are still black from where I had started to set them aflame.

You're the only thing that I like about me...

My glass is on the floor. I'm not sure when that happened, but it's shattered into a million different pieces around me. I stumble a step and I hear the pieces crunch underneath my feet.

You're the shore when I am lost at sea...

No, no, no. Maybe I'm wasted already. Maybe I'm lying passed out cold on the floor, and this is all a dream...a strangely haunting dream. Maybe I'm dead, a ghost stuck in the place she used to visit most.

But maybe this is real.

I take another shaky step, this one sending me around the corner.

I can't help myself. As soon as my line of vision is clear, my eyes turn frantic and hungry, shooting up to the stage, traveling towards the source of that darkly beautiful sound.

It can't be it can't be it can't be...

My eyes lock with a set of ice blue. All time stops. I am frozen again, body held up in space by just that one look. For a moment, I think he will falter too. His voice fades at the sight of me, but when he sees that I can't move, he picks up right where he left off.

My face starts to warm, my fingers tingling in a way they haven't in five years. Five years.

He's singing to me now; I can tell by the way his eyes never leave mine. If possible, his voice sounds even better. It just sounds...more...it sounds the way it used to when he said my name.

In this world where nothing else is true...

Here I am

Still tangled up in you.

Tangled up in you...

I'm still tangled up in you.

The song ends but his gaze doesn't. He leans towards the microphone as a small round of applause occurs down in front.

"Thanks everyone," he breathes. "Never sang that one before...It's called Tangled Up in You. And tonight...tonight I want to dedicate it to a girl from my past, a girl named Elena."

There's some more applause, but it sounds muted. I've been waiting to hear him say my name like that for the longest time...waiting without knowing that was what I was waiting for. I had dreamt about his voice, but now I realize I had never done it justice. Never ever.

He smiles at the crowd then, the half smile that I used to love so dearly. I mouth his name to him, just because I have to. "Damon," I whisper. He sees this; I watch his eyes flash one shade darker with some emotion I can't name.

I don't know what this means, seeing him here. I don't know how he could possibly be real...how all that dark hair and blue eyes and impossible charm could be only a room's length away.

I don't understand it, but I can't help myself. I run to him.

*So I don't really know what this is...if it's a one shot or a two shot or a multi chapter story. All I know is that I had writer's block on my current fanfic and then this idea occurred to me and I just had to write it. Let me know what you think. Oh and the song lyrics are stolen from the song Tangled Up in You by Staid...it's beautiful so go and give it a listen if you really wanna picture the scene!*