Hi! This is a fic my friend Seele agreed to write with me, and you must give her ALL the credit! It's been ready for awhile, but I haven't logged in much lately so... well, she's another Hwoarang addicted (we're taking over the world!), so guess what the fic's about... let's get on to the show!!
Summary: did you read the title?
Rating: PG-13 for some insinuations
Some Questions Hwoarang Prayed Nobody Would Ever Ask (but he has to answer them anyway!)
Voice: Welcome everyone to our special interviewing program here in the Cris T. Inna show.
Today we have a special guess...
CTI: Yes Rick Ardo.. Our guess is someone very very important in the fighting world... He had been [until another more handsome-than-him-boy came] an undefeated Tae Kwon Do master, his career in the Tekken world started in 1997 with the successful Tekken 3 since then he had participated in Two tournaments [and he had not win any of them];
H: [I heard that pathetic human!].
CTI:*sweatdrops*... he also has an interesting hand to hand fight [well more like foot to hand] with Jin Kazama... Ladies and gentlemen please welcome to Red Haired Kicking Machine.... HWOARANG!!!
*Everybody claps until they saw Hwoarang tied up on a chair; then they burst out in laugh*
H-) *with menacing tone* I have photographic memory I would find out about everyone!! Beware of me, I know where you live...
*everyone in the studio shuts his mouth*
I1-) Is your hair really red?
H-) =( ... WHY I had to go through THIS all the TIME?! YES!!! IS REALLY RED! REEEED! R-E-A-L-L-Y R-E-D!
I-) Yeah sure whatever...
H-) What proves do you need?
I-) What proves do you have?
H-) Are my fists prove enough?
*as he says that he tries to break free of this bounds and suprinsingly manages to do it! He then turns around with a deadly glare on his face, but several guards come inside the studio and jump on him. Above the smoke and the fighting noises (and of course Hwo's curses) we can see the I hanging on to the lamp on the ceiling. Once the smoke ceases, we can see that H has been chained to the chair now*
I2-) Ahem... *still looking frightened* What is your thing with Tekken 4?
H-) Huh?
I-) WHY did you go there?
H-) I had nothing else to do, bothering my superiors at the army was becoming boring... it was my last chance to get a decent match, and I needed the money...
I-) But you didn't save when you did all those street fights? Don't tell me you spent all that money buying 'imported' cigarretes?!
H-) BEG YOUR PARDON?!... I am going to sue certain 'committee' fan
fiction writer... for your INFO I DON'T SMOKE 'IMPORTED'CIGARRETS OR
MARIHU[censored]!
I-) Whatever... then WHY you let them cut your hair in a N'Sync pop singer hair-style?!! and WHO in the world would believe that you actually went to the army?!
*two latin american girls rise their hands, and yes, they happen to
be the authors!*
I-) Oh! Put your hand down girls... *muttering* so naive... anyway
what about it?
H-) HEY! almost every boy had gone to the army! why do you doubt about ME?! and I DIDN'T let them cut my hair...
I-) o.O;
H-) *in a low voice* They put something on my drink and when I woke up... *starts to blush BUT in rage* THOSE [beep] [beep] had joined me to the army and there they cut my HAAIIR!!!
I3-) What is the thing with Jin?
H-) What do you mean with 'thing'?
I-) Well... it is not too healthy to think about 'fight' against someone THAT much!
H-) Well... is NOT too healthy ask a fictional character about something he couldn't avoid!
I-) That's the most stupid answer smart as-[beep]!
H-) That's the most stupid question miss I-love-Jinny-boy's-as-[beep]!
I-) HEY I'm not the one who pursued Jin to the ends of the world to have a 'match'
H-) I'm not the one coming up with the stupid questions and expecting someone to have a decent answer to them!
I-) Are you insulting my intelligent, wise program?
H-) YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I-) *looking frightened again* Just... just... checking...
I4-) Why didn't you ever date any of Tekken girls?
H-) Work and girls shouldn't be mixed up! and even more if they are Tekken girls!!
I-) Why not?
H-) To make the story short:
Nina - Psychotic assassin; jealousy about Anna and a Bad Habit User... no good for a man's health. Having to add she doesn't have good memory...
Anna - Psychotic fresh girl; SUPER jealousy about Nina and a Bad Habit User too, she spends all her money in make up... TWO TIMES no good for a man's health and economy.
Xiaoyu -Psycho movie scream tekken version, funfair, yellowish and pinkish ribbons addicted child... no good for your mental and hearing health. Not counting the time she wanted to have a ride on my bike...
I-) o.O;
H-) She screamed and kicked and pulled my hair until I agreed to take her on a ride, but once I started to speed up she screamed and kicked and bit me until I let her out... freak kid...
I-) ^_^* oh well what about the others?
H-) Julia - Axe-addicted, raw meat eater girl... insurance doesn't cover axe murderer attempts or intoxications; bad for your health! But there's this thing, she's going out with the Kazama scum, so I might even give it a try... *smiles devily*... but there's this OTHER
thing she is always carrying that axe...
Michelle - Axe murderer suspicious, raw meat eater woman more than twenty years of difference... like her daughter BAD for your health!.
Jun - Asian white snow version, momma's boy mother AND devil Kazuya's 'wife'... very very BAD for your life... not counting that she surely says 'don't eat meat' 'don't use spray' 'don't use
plastic' 'don't drink' 'don't kick my little Jin'
Kunimitsu - Bad face mask design taste, knife and teleport user... Yoshi once told me she appeared in the bathroom when HE was using it!... poor space ninja wannabe he almost had a heart attack; veredict NO GOOD.
Angel - Mishima fighting style, winged, laser beams user... sure she wants get married first... I am not going to die soo young! NO WAY!
Unknown - All the Tekken girls in one package... undoubtly BAD and scary...
I-) o.O;
H-) The wolf that is always hunging up behind her... once tried to eat Xiaoyu... good that she can scream that way or she would not be in Tekken 4
I-) Yeah good... no one would had came to save he-
H-) No! her scream scared the hell that poor wolf!!
I-) What about the new girls in Tekken 4?
H-) There is only Christie...
I-) Well?
H-) Well... she speaks portuguese and the first day, she saw Kazuya, Marduk, Heihachi and Paul... she told Namco she would do her work away from us!
I5-) Has any of Tekken guys ever asked you out?
H-) WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!
I-) You MUST answer!
H-) OK... *in a very very low voice* Paul, Forest, Eddy, Heihachi, Lei and *more low*... Jin.
I-) UH?! JIN?! I can't believe it! sweet little Jin asked you out for a date?!
H-) *ironically* Yeah even THAT little wuss, pansy, naive, good for nothing, momma's boy!!
I-) How come?! they didn't see you didn't have -two- things?!
H-) *blushed and annoyed* I was wearing my licking-shoes outfit... AND before you ask about it, black T-shirt and jeans with white sport shoes...
I-) What about King and Bryan?
H-) Bryan is a zombie! doesn't care about going out with girls... he eats them... and King he has this cat's sixth sense!
I-) *thinking when...* EEEWW! Did Heihachi asked you out for a date?!
H-) That old fart can't tell the diference between Kazuya and Jin...
I-) How did they asked you?
H-) *mocking on every Tekken guy* Forest: 'Hey cutie do you want to go out?!' Having to add that he DID NOT think that I was a girl...
I-) EEEWWWWW!!
H-) Yeah! and Paul: Hey mamma wanna have some fun?! *muttering* you must do something with THAT gasoline smell Mr. brush hair.
I-) DOUBLE EEEWWW!!
H-) Even more... *looking at the camera* NOW I know why you didn't get married yet Paul!
H-) Eddy *with terrible accent since H doesn't speak Portugese* : E aí gata, tá a fim de sair? *this means something like 'hey there pretty girl, you wanna go out with me?'*... I think he called me 'cat'...
H-) Lei: can I talk and walk with you?... Heihachi: I am the most rich 'old fart' in Japan, Do you want to go out?
H-) Jin: Hi my name is Jin 'I am a momma's boy' can I ask 'my mom if I can take' you out for a date? 'Promise to bring you back before eleven!'
I-) what was your reaction?
H-) I kicked his pansy as-[beep]... *well actually Hwoarang remembers that he didn't really kick Jin... he slapped Jin*
I-) Good that you are a boy and not a girl...
H-) Why?
I-) Hell! Which girl in the world would be THAT beautiful?
H-) =0
*once more tries to break free to beat I up, but doesn't manage to break the chains. The I, however, is already holding on the lamp for dear life*
I6-) How does it come that, when we "ask" you to punch with both arms you start to dance on a funny way?
H-) If you consider THAT as a dance... it is NOT my fault if you didn't seem to bother a little to read my list of moves and if you want me to punch with both arms... two words: BODY BLOW!!!
I7-) Why in hell are you the only character at that game who can't flip himself over and simply KICK?
H-) Why in hell am I the only character at that game who has to answer all THIS?!
I8-) Have you ever considered using your hands in a fight?
H-) Have you ever considered why my bio says TAE KWON DO AND NOT KARATE???!!!
I9-) What do you do when you're not fighting/smoking/sailing/listening to music/trying to get some chick to go out with you/planning your cruel revenge against Jin Kazama/happily contemplating your enormous ego?
H-) I don't know... maybe watching low level shows like yours? maybe?.
I10-) Did you ever consider that it is not too good to be a very, very ARGUING TYPE PERSON?
H-) NO I DIDN'T and DID YOU EVER CONSIDER THAT IS NOT TOO GOOD ASK
THINGS that a TAE KWON DO BLACK BELT MASTER doesn't want to be asked about?!
I11-) Have you ever considered changing your name to... uh I don't know a name more easy to pronunce for a simple mortal and with no 'you are affeminate' references implied?
H-) I'm not changing names just because you numbskulls can't get to say my beautiful, powerful, MASCULE name on the right way!! AND THERE INS'T ANYTHING FEMININE ABOUT FLOWERING MANHOOD!!
I-) yes there is!
H-) No there's not! it means that I'm the alpha male, the supreme gift from God to women...
I-) ^_^* Yeah whatever... *muttering* alpha male... God's gift?
I12-) How did you feel after being called a 'button smasher character'?
H-) EXCUSE ME?? Just because my moves are smooth and people don't have to draw weird patters with their fingers on the buttons to get me to kick?
I-) But that's what most people think... you are in the top ten 'smasher's chooses' ranking!
H-) *whistles* I am a good fighter AND if gamers doesn't seem understand my beautiful, powerful, graceful fighting style THAT'S their fuc-[beep] PROBLEM!
I13-) Why did you choose to name one of your stances 'flamingo' considering that a flamingo is asociated with pink and pink is asociated with 'feminine'?
H-) ONLY ON YOUR PERVERTED MIND!!!!!!!!!!! Why doesn't anybody bothers Jin about his new, *ironically* fashionable PURPLE hood huh?
I-) Answer the question damnit!
H-) I didn't name it, Namco guys did... and for once they FINALLY did what they should had done from the begining!!
I-) What?... add real useful moves to your arsenal in Tekken 4?
H-) *surprisingly calm* No... *smirking* hide that ugly Kazama's face...
I14-) What about your clothing in Tekken 3 y Tag... Your dobok seems to be small... Is it to impress chicks? or you didn't have money to buy a new one?`Your street thug outfit seems to be so worn out and leather is not too masculine... Why did you choose it?
H-) there's nothing wrong with my clothing! Plus Tekken is THE place if you want to have a bad outfit, didn't you see Forest Law's ugly-and-gay yellow outfit, Ol' Yoshi's cheap immitation of "Star Wars" sword or Xiaoyu's vision-offending yellow ribbon? or Anna's with-no-
underwear dress. About my dobok, that's the way I like it and you have nothing to do with that! it makes it easier for me to move and kick ass!!
I-) Uh... semi-reasonable answer, but considering that it is YOU we're talking with... what about your street punk clothing?
H-) Have you ever seen a street punk looking smart? When we buy those clothes they are worn out already! And leather IS very masculine for your information.
I-) Yeah, ricky martin also seems to think so...
H-) HEY! It is very manly, even Angel (the guy from Buffy the Vampire slayer) wears it, and it is good for when I fall down, it protects my powerful legs.
I-) You watch BUFFY the Vampire slayer?! *hysterical laugh* NINNY!!
*many empty and no so empty soda cans hit CTI in the head, surprissingly Hwoarang has nothing to do with it; it is all the BTVS fan club*
----
believe it or not, there's still MORE COMING!!!!! =)
did you like it? hate it? R/R or mail me at blood_taloness@hotmail.com and tell me what you think. I'll forward all the messages to Seele, for I don't know if she wants her e-mail published...
Summary: did you read the title?
Rating: PG-13 for some insinuations
Some Questions Hwoarang Prayed Nobody Would Ever Ask (but he has to answer them anyway!)
Voice: Welcome everyone to our special interviewing program here in the Cris T. Inna show.
Today we have a special guess...
CTI: Yes Rick Ardo.. Our guess is someone very very important in the fighting world... He had been [until another more handsome-than-him-boy came] an undefeated Tae Kwon Do master, his career in the Tekken world started in 1997 with the successful Tekken 3 since then he had participated in Two tournaments [and he had not win any of them];
H: [I heard that pathetic human!].
CTI:*sweatdrops*... he also has an interesting hand to hand fight [well more like foot to hand] with Jin Kazama... Ladies and gentlemen please welcome to Red Haired Kicking Machine.... HWOARANG!!!
*Everybody claps until they saw Hwoarang tied up on a chair; then they burst out in laugh*
H-) *with menacing tone* I have photographic memory I would find out about everyone!! Beware of me, I know where you live...
*everyone in the studio shuts his mouth*
I1-) Is your hair really red?
H-) =( ... WHY I had to go through THIS all the TIME?! YES!!! IS REALLY RED! REEEED! R-E-A-L-L-Y R-E-D!
I-) Yeah sure whatever...
H-) What proves do you need?
I-) What proves do you have?
H-) Are my fists prove enough?
*as he says that he tries to break free of this bounds and suprinsingly manages to do it! He then turns around with a deadly glare on his face, but several guards come inside the studio and jump on him. Above the smoke and the fighting noises (and of course Hwo's curses) we can see the I hanging on to the lamp on the ceiling. Once the smoke ceases, we can see that H has been chained to the chair now*
I2-) Ahem... *still looking frightened* What is your thing with Tekken 4?
H-) Huh?
I-) WHY did you go there?
H-) I had nothing else to do, bothering my superiors at the army was becoming boring... it was my last chance to get a decent match, and I needed the money...
I-) But you didn't save when you did all those street fights? Don't tell me you spent all that money buying 'imported' cigarretes?!
H-) BEG YOUR PARDON?!... I am going to sue certain 'committee' fan
fiction writer... for your INFO I DON'T SMOKE 'IMPORTED'CIGARRETS OR
MARIHU[censored]!
I-) Whatever... then WHY you let them cut your hair in a N'Sync pop singer hair-style?!! and WHO in the world would believe that you actually went to the army?!
*two latin american girls rise their hands, and yes, they happen to
be the authors!*
I-) Oh! Put your hand down girls... *muttering* so naive... anyway
what about it?
H-) HEY! almost every boy had gone to the army! why do you doubt about ME?! and I DIDN'T let them cut my hair...
I-) o.O;
H-) *in a low voice* They put something on my drink and when I woke up... *starts to blush BUT in rage* THOSE [beep] [beep] had joined me to the army and there they cut my HAAIIR!!!
I3-) What is the thing with Jin?
H-) What do you mean with 'thing'?
I-) Well... it is not too healthy to think about 'fight' against someone THAT much!
H-) Well... is NOT too healthy ask a fictional character about something he couldn't avoid!
I-) That's the most stupid answer smart as-[beep]!
H-) That's the most stupid question miss I-love-Jinny-boy's-as-[beep]!
I-) HEY I'm not the one who pursued Jin to the ends of the world to have a 'match'
H-) I'm not the one coming up with the stupid questions and expecting someone to have a decent answer to them!
I-) Are you insulting my intelligent, wise program?
H-) YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I-) *looking frightened again* Just... just... checking...
I4-) Why didn't you ever date any of Tekken girls?
H-) Work and girls shouldn't be mixed up! and even more if they are Tekken girls!!
I-) Why not?
H-) To make the story short:
Nina - Psychotic assassin; jealousy about Anna and a Bad Habit User... no good for a man's health. Having to add she doesn't have good memory...
Anna - Psychotic fresh girl; SUPER jealousy about Nina and a Bad Habit User too, she spends all her money in make up... TWO TIMES no good for a man's health and economy.
Xiaoyu -Psycho movie scream tekken version, funfair, yellowish and pinkish ribbons addicted child... no good for your mental and hearing health. Not counting the time she wanted to have a ride on my bike...
I-) o.O;
H-) She screamed and kicked and pulled my hair until I agreed to take her on a ride, but once I started to speed up she screamed and kicked and bit me until I let her out... freak kid...
I-) ^_^* oh well what about the others?
H-) Julia - Axe-addicted, raw meat eater girl... insurance doesn't cover axe murderer attempts or intoxications; bad for your health! But there's this thing, she's going out with the Kazama scum, so I might even give it a try... *smiles devily*... but there's this OTHER
thing she is always carrying that axe...
Michelle - Axe murderer suspicious, raw meat eater woman more than twenty years of difference... like her daughter BAD for your health!.
Jun - Asian white snow version, momma's boy mother AND devil Kazuya's 'wife'... very very BAD for your life... not counting that she surely says 'don't eat meat' 'don't use spray' 'don't use
plastic' 'don't drink' 'don't kick my little Jin'
Kunimitsu - Bad face mask design taste, knife and teleport user... Yoshi once told me she appeared in the bathroom when HE was using it!... poor space ninja wannabe he almost had a heart attack; veredict NO GOOD.
Angel - Mishima fighting style, winged, laser beams user... sure she wants get married first... I am not going to die soo young! NO WAY!
Unknown - All the Tekken girls in one package... undoubtly BAD and scary...
I-) o.O;
H-) The wolf that is always hunging up behind her... once tried to eat Xiaoyu... good that she can scream that way or she would not be in Tekken 4
I-) Yeah good... no one would had came to save he-
H-) No! her scream scared the hell that poor wolf!!
I-) What about the new girls in Tekken 4?
H-) There is only Christie...
I-) Well?
H-) Well... she speaks portuguese and the first day, she saw Kazuya, Marduk, Heihachi and Paul... she told Namco she would do her work away from us!
I5-) Has any of Tekken guys ever asked you out?
H-) WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!
I-) You MUST answer!
H-) OK... *in a very very low voice* Paul, Forest, Eddy, Heihachi, Lei and *more low*... Jin.
I-) UH?! JIN?! I can't believe it! sweet little Jin asked you out for a date?!
H-) *ironically* Yeah even THAT little wuss, pansy, naive, good for nothing, momma's boy!!
I-) How come?! they didn't see you didn't have -two- things?!
H-) *blushed and annoyed* I was wearing my licking-shoes outfit... AND before you ask about it, black T-shirt and jeans with white sport shoes...
I-) What about King and Bryan?
H-) Bryan is a zombie! doesn't care about going out with girls... he eats them... and King he has this cat's sixth sense!
I-) *thinking when...* EEEWW! Did Heihachi asked you out for a date?!
H-) That old fart can't tell the diference between Kazuya and Jin...
I-) How did they asked you?
H-) *mocking on every Tekken guy* Forest: 'Hey cutie do you want to go out?!' Having to add that he DID NOT think that I was a girl...
I-) EEEWWWWW!!
H-) Yeah! and Paul: Hey mamma wanna have some fun?! *muttering* you must do something with THAT gasoline smell Mr. brush hair.
I-) DOUBLE EEEWWW!!
H-) Even more... *looking at the camera* NOW I know why you didn't get married yet Paul!
H-) Eddy *with terrible accent since H doesn't speak Portugese* : E aí gata, tá a fim de sair? *this means something like 'hey there pretty girl, you wanna go out with me?'*... I think he called me 'cat'...
H-) Lei: can I talk and walk with you?... Heihachi: I am the most rich 'old fart' in Japan, Do you want to go out?
H-) Jin: Hi my name is Jin 'I am a momma's boy' can I ask 'my mom if I can take' you out for a date? 'Promise to bring you back before eleven!'
I-) what was your reaction?
H-) I kicked his pansy as-[beep]... *well actually Hwoarang remembers that he didn't really kick Jin... he slapped Jin*
I-) Good that you are a boy and not a girl...
H-) Why?
I-) Hell! Which girl in the world would be THAT beautiful?
H-) =0
*once more tries to break free to beat I up, but doesn't manage to break the chains. The I, however, is already holding on the lamp for dear life*
I6-) How does it come that, when we "ask" you to punch with both arms you start to dance on a funny way?
H-) If you consider THAT as a dance... it is NOT my fault if you didn't seem to bother a little to read my list of moves and if you want me to punch with both arms... two words: BODY BLOW!!!
I7-) Why in hell are you the only character at that game who can't flip himself over and simply KICK?
H-) Why in hell am I the only character at that game who has to answer all THIS?!
I8-) Have you ever considered using your hands in a fight?
H-) Have you ever considered why my bio says TAE KWON DO AND NOT KARATE???!!!
I9-) What do you do when you're not fighting/smoking/sailing/listening to music/trying to get some chick to go out with you/planning your cruel revenge against Jin Kazama/happily contemplating your enormous ego?
H-) I don't know... maybe watching low level shows like yours? maybe?.
I10-) Did you ever consider that it is not too good to be a very, very ARGUING TYPE PERSON?
H-) NO I DIDN'T and DID YOU EVER CONSIDER THAT IS NOT TOO GOOD ASK
THINGS that a TAE KWON DO BLACK BELT MASTER doesn't want to be asked about?!
I11-) Have you ever considered changing your name to... uh I don't know a name more easy to pronunce for a simple mortal and with no 'you are affeminate' references implied?
H-) I'm not changing names just because you numbskulls can't get to say my beautiful, powerful, MASCULE name on the right way!! AND THERE INS'T ANYTHING FEMININE ABOUT FLOWERING MANHOOD!!
I-) yes there is!
H-) No there's not! it means that I'm the alpha male, the supreme gift from God to women...
I-) ^_^* Yeah whatever... *muttering* alpha male... God's gift?
I12-) How did you feel after being called a 'button smasher character'?
H-) EXCUSE ME?? Just because my moves are smooth and people don't have to draw weird patters with their fingers on the buttons to get me to kick?
I-) But that's what most people think... you are in the top ten 'smasher's chooses' ranking!
H-) *whistles* I am a good fighter AND if gamers doesn't seem understand my beautiful, powerful, graceful fighting style THAT'S their fuc-[beep] PROBLEM!
I13-) Why did you choose to name one of your stances 'flamingo' considering that a flamingo is asociated with pink and pink is asociated with 'feminine'?
H-) ONLY ON YOUR PERVERTED MIND!!!!!!!!!!! Why doesn't anybody bothers Jin about his new, *ironically* fashionable PURPLE hood huh?
I-) Answer the question damnit!
H-) I didn't name it, Namco guys did... and for once they FINALLY did what they should had done from the begining!!
I-) What?... add real useful moves to your arsenal in Tekken 4?
H-) *surprisingly calm* No... *smirking* hide that ugly Kazama's face...
I14-) What about your clothing in Tekken 3 y Tag... Your dobok seems to be small... Is it to impress chicks? or you didn't have money to buy a new one?`Your street thug outfit seems to be so worn out and leather is not too masculine... Why did you choose it?
H-) there's nothing wrong with my clothing! Plus Tekken is THE place if you want to have a bad outfit, didn't you see Forest Law's ugly-and-gay yellow outfit, Ol' Yoshi's cheap immitation of "Star Wars" sword or Xiaoyu's vision-offending yellow ribbon? or Anna's with-no-
underwear dress. About my dobok, that's the way I like it and you have nothing to do with that! it makes it easier for me to move and kick ass!!
I-) Uh... semi-reasonable answer, but considering that it is YOU we're talking with... what about your street punk clothing?
H-) Have you ever seen a street punk looking smart? When we buy those clothes they are worn out already! And leather IS very masculine for your information.
I-) Yeah, ricky martin also seems to think so...
H-) HEY! It is very manly, even Angel (the guy from Buffy the Vampire slayer) wears it, and it is good for when I fall down, it protects my powerful legs.
I-) You watch BUFFY the Vampire slayer?! *hysterical laugh* NINNY!!
*many empty and no so empty soda cans hit CTI in the head, surprissingly Hwoarang has nothing to do with it; it is all the BTVS fan club*
----
believe it or not, there's still MORE COMING!!!!! =)
did you like it? hate it? R/R or mail me at blood_taloness@hotmail.com and tell me what you think. I'll forward all the messages to Seele, for I don't know if she wants her e-mail published...