Title: The Best Gifts in Life are Free
A
Birthday Fic for My Sister Ashura!
Major
pairing: 3x4/4x3
Told
in POV. From Quatre and Trowa Respectively.
Author:
The Fablespinner
E-Mail:
fablespinner@GWfanficwriter.every1.net
Rating:
PG-13
Genre:
Romance & Sap (the Best Kind of fic IMO ~_^)
===============================================================
Disclaimer:
DUH! We know the Drill, If I owned it, this would be animated and not just a
fic! Them lucky SOB's in the land of the Rising Sun own it, I'm just
borrowing the characters for a bit. I'll put them back, I promise.
===============================================================
He's
pale enough as it is, I never dreamed he could look more so. But as I look down
upon his sleeping form, he's nearly lost in those stark white sheets. Frail
they call you. I know better. I do not know many who could have done what you
did and survive, let alone get up and continue the battle. You even hid how bad
it was from me, that in and of itself is a feat unmatched. I look angrily at the
bandage around your middle. Knowing that there is and even angrier looking
puncture wound underneath. If I had only been a few minutes faster, perhaps this
would not have happened. But I cannot second guess myself. Maybe if I had been
there, I might have distracted you and lost you for good. So I will not dwell on
the 'what ifs', I can't. I can only dwell on the tomorrow, and hope and
pray I see those eyes, those bottomless pools of shimmering blue green fire,
looking at me again, the only eyes that have ever seen right through me. I was
lost to you the instant I looked into them, and saw myself staring back. And you
know, you always know. So you must know this, I love you, I need you to stay
with me. So cease this haunted sleep that is robbing you of the life that
infects us all and come back to me, come back to us Quatre.
~*~
He's
here, I can feel him by my side. Why can't I open my eyes? I will myself to
open them and gaze upon him. Yet, nothing happens. He's worried, I can feel
it. No, he's not worried, he's afraid. Afraid of the bitter cold, that black
demon called loneliness. I made a vow Trowa, maybe I should have told you about
it before. But once, not long after I found you again, I swore I'd never let
that evil swallow you again. I plan on keeping that vow. Now and forever. He
loves me, If only I could find the words to tell you how much I love him in
return. But it's one thing to share these feelings together. Quite another to
get you to cast away that fearful barrier and let me in long enough to tell you.
I know how badly you've been hurt. Now is not the time to rush into anything.
We first have to heal your soul, then and only then can I tell you what you
truly mean to me. Damn my eyes, damn my limbs. If only I could respond to my
will and end this ache you feel. I will not give up Trowa. I will come back to
you, I will not break my vow.
~*~
It's
been three days, three of the longest days of my life. She came in today. And it
took every ounce of my will power not to strangle her for doing this to him. But
I knew Quatre, I knew he had forgiven her, and I knew I'd only upset him later
if I reacted. As it was, I thought I saw him grimace when the initial rage upon
seeing her entered my mind. Once I squashed it, that serene look returned to his
countenance. I did get a cheap thrill however out of her visit. Thanks to an
unlikely source. At times he can be irritating, others, like today, he's a
godsend. Leave it to One Duo Maxwell to say what only others think, but dare not
say. After is first "What the Fuck are you doing here?" To his "Did anyone
ever tell you, that whole bitch persona pisses people off?" I could have
kissed that braided fool.
We'd
spent a lot of time together these past three days. He was still hanging about
MO2 as well. Waiting for 'his patient' to get the all clear so he could
'take her home'. I finally got to meet Hilde and I thanked her for all the
trouble she went through. I remembered Quatre making a point of mentioning to
Duo that the data she smuggled out was indispensable. She blushed, smiled a most
engaging smile, and shrugged it off. Her sincerity was what really touched me
though. Not in her words perhaps, she was a bad as Duo with the jabber. It was
in her eyes, I knew that look. I'd seen it someone's else's eyes before.
She looked to Duo the way Quatre did to me. Did I look like Duo when I gazed
back at Quatre? Duo hid from his emotions like I did. Not in the same way of
course, we were like those theatre playbills you saw. Whereas Duo was comedy, I
knew I was tragedy. It was the coward's way out. It was easier to pull on the
shroud, than to put in all that effort to smile all the time. But having said
that, when it mattered, when it really mattered. Even Duo could not keep on his
mask. And when he looked at Hilde, you knew. Love speaks louder than words. And
in his eyes, there was a reflection of love that out shone the very stars. Did I
show Quatre those same stars? Was I that transparent too when it really
mattered? God I hoped so.
~*~
I
felt as weak as a newborn, but elated. I finally managed to get my body to
respond somewhat to my will and I opened my eyes. Only to find darkness. Leave
it to me to wake up in the middle of the night. As my eyes adjusted to the dim
luminescence of the stars outside my window, I saw him there. Curled up like a
cat in the chair beside my bed. Limber was a tame way to describe the position
he was in. My mind, oh my evil mind! Sometimes I shocked myself with some of the
things I thought about. I just knew I turned a thousand shades of red. Now I was
GLAD it was the middle of the night, and he could not see. I feared sometimes if
he could read my thoughts, he'd think I was only after him for one thing. And
that was most definitely NOT the case. But I had to admit, in all honesty. I
thought about other things, quite a bit. I wanted him so badly I could barely
breathe.
He
stirred and cracked open one of those emeralds he tried to pass off as eyes. And
then, then he gave me perhaps the greatest gift I'd ever received. He smiled.
And not just any smile. Not one of those tight, slightly upturned at the
corners, patented Trowa smile that's not quite a frown smile. No, this one lit
up his whole face. We're talking ear to ear, flash me those pearly whites,
beaming smiles. It was Trowa transformed. He has been breathtaking before. Now,
he was radiance personified. I squeaked. I felt like an idiot. He really caught
me off guard with that. But my heart was racing so fast, breathing was just a
chore. My pulse quickened instantly, he had never before looked so wonderful to
my eyes. And the gift of that smile would stay with me forever. Because I knew
it was for me. It's true what they say. The greatest gifts in life are free.
With all my riches, I could not have paid for that one gesture. I fell in love
with him all over again.
~*~
I
had been half asleep, when my senses became alert. My soldier's sixth sense
told me something in the room had changed. I slowly cracked open one eye to see
in the shadows those limpid pools staring at me. He was awake! Quatre had come
back to me. I couldn't stop it, the relief and the joy I felt manifested
itself before I could gain control, and a smile spread across my face. He
squeaked. I had to chuckle. So, a smile has this effect on him? I should smile
more. I think I will smile more, even if I do try to keep them in check. He
brings out things in me against my will on a regular basis, why should this be
any different? He does quite a few things to me against my will I wish sometimes
he didn't. Because before, it was always at the very worst of times. He had
horrible timing when it came to doing something that would unconsciously set me
on fire. He had no idea how absolutely gorgeous he was. Total lack of anything
remote resembling vanity. He was just one hundred percent naturally obtuse when
it came to his sensuality. He radiated charm, and he sucked me in whole. I hung
on every word he uttered, ever gesture he made. And all I can do is sit and
stare at him. Say something Trowa, anything! Don't be an idiot! Why does my
ability to function cease in his presence? Every time, I am reduced to a puddle
of congealed ooze who can only hem and haw like an illiterate baffoon.
~*~
I've
got to say something. But What? Why is he just staring at me like this? Allah,
but he has gorgeous eyes. I want to touch you, I want you to touch me. Please,
please touch me.
~*~
I'm
melting, I have no will of my own anymore. I have to touch you, please let me
touch you.
~*~
I
can't wait anymore, please take my hand. I reach out to him, at the same
moment he reaches for me. I'm so weak, I can barely lift my hand from the bed.
But it does not matter. For he is at my side in an instant breaking that
eternity of silent looks we just shared. He's touching me, he lifts me just
enough to wrap his arms around me in an embrace I've so longed for. I have no
strength, but I do manage to entwine my arms around his waist in return, and he
rests my head against his shoulder. Now the silence begins again. But this time,
I want it to last an eternity. I am being held in his arms. This moment could
last forever for me. I'm overflowing with happiness.
~*~
He's
so weak, like a kitten. But I know it's only temporary. Soon he'll be back
the way he was before. The Quatre I know and love. The lion dressed as the lamb.
People underestimate him greatly. Yes, I admit he does look like a strong breeze
could blow him over. But it took him being run through with a rapier to even
begin to slow down. And he fought on after that. But that's just his physical
strength. What he has that's even stronger is his will and his mind. Zechs was
right, Quatre always was the brains, he figured out the whole meaning behind
things well before any of the rest of us did. It's because of Quatre we all
stopped being single minded entities and united together. It was Quatre who
directed the dance of battle that brought us to victory, and it was Quatre who
taught us it was not a soldier's lot to be used and discarded. It was not a
soldier's duty to cease being human. For when we did detach ourselves, when we
stopped feeling, we were really no better than mobile dolls. I almost learned
that lesson too late. It took almost losing the one thing in this world I care
about to make me realize that. It took almost losing him. I am never letting go
again. I promise to learn Quatre, if you promise to continue to be my teacher.
Hold me, mold me, change me, improve me Quatre. I am your clay, use those
artistic hands and shape me the way you need me.
~*~
Thank
Allah, I can feel the walls crumbling. He has torn them down before me and
he's weeping into my hair as he clutches me ever tighter. His emotions are raw
before me, and I gather them together and cling to them gently. I won't try to
change him, I cannot improve on the masterpiece that is already there. He's
like a diamond in the rough, all it takes to make him shine is a little
polishing. The flaws are only in his spirit now. Those will mend themselves in
time on their own. Lean on me Trowa, let me be your rock in times of need, just
as I know you will be mine when I falter. His breath tickles my ear, and my
heart stops it beating, time itself grinds to a halt as I hear him utter words I
have, until this point, only ever dreamed I'd hear him say aloud. He tells me
he loves me. I sigh audibly I can't help it. I look up into those bright eyes
still glistening with tears. I tell him at last, that I love him too.
~*~
He
loves me too, My Quatre love me. I knew he did, but still hearing the words
themselves are a gift I will treasure always. I cannot fight the urge anymore.
And Neither can he, I can see it in his eyes. Together we close the final inches
of space between us, and I can taste his tears on his lips as they meet my own.
There our tears mingle and mesh together, upon our cheeks, and our lips. Mixing
as one, just as our souls blend together to form one entity comprised of two
forms. It's now I realize how much a part of me he truly is, how I know in
this startling flash of clarity, that I will never again be I. I no longer
exists, the loneliness is forever abandoned. For the I is now WE. We will face
this world together. Where he stands, I stand. Where I am, he will be. I can
feel the demon screeching his defeat. And I revel in the Joy that this new
consciousness brings to me. The Greatest gifts in life are free. And I had it
all along. I have finally reached out from my perch on the carousal, and closed
my fingers around that brass ring. My failed attempts at reaching it left me
afraid to try again. But I did it this time. Because this time, the Ring reached
for me in return. We have met, we have connected. We will never be separated
again.
He's
sleeping again, so weary. I lay him back against his pillow and I curl up beside
him. This time when I fall asleep. The demon has vanished. In his place is a
golden angel, that brass ring is his halo. I fold into his embrace, and for the
first time in my life. I dream. I dream of hope, and of peace. I dream of my
angel, my Quatre.
Fini
===============================================================
"To
Sleep, perchance to Dream"
and
the Greatest Gifts in Life are free. We just have to open our eyes to see them.
Happy
Birthday Ashura,
All
My Love!
My
Sister in Spirit!
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