It was 10pm when Kara finally arrived home, her day filled with chasing leads for her latest article and her evening spent protecting the city as her Kryptonian alter-ego. It had been an unusually quiet night for criminals and Kara swore quietly to herself as she looked at the antique clock on the wall and registered that there were still 2 hours left of this wretched day. Of course all the bad guys in town would choose today of all days to take a night off.

The day was cursed, she was sure of it. The past 6 years had proven it.

She'd never had anything against this particular date before then, it had always been the same as any other day of the year. But, 6 years ago, on May 19th, her whole world had been shaken in an irreparable way, everything changed beyond recognition.

6 years ago she had defeated Red Daughter and stopped Lex from completing his plan.

6 years ago she had returned to her apartment, still battered and bruised from the fight, to find Lena waiting on her doorstep.

6 years ago, Lena had sat next to her on her overstuffed couch, trembling with anxiety and confessed that she was in love with her best friend.

6 years ago Kara had choked, too wracked with guilt from the enormous secret she still held inside, to allow herself to feel happy about Lena's admission.

Instead, she had taken Lena's hand and looked into her eyes as she untied her hair and removed her glasses. She had watched as Lena froze, the beginnings of recognition sweeping over her features. She had released her hold on Lena's hand as she began to unbutton the rumpled shirt that hid the final clue to her greatest secret. And she had sat there as Lena took in the familiar crest, green eyes filling with unshed tears as she pieced together the information she was being given.

The tears had fallen and the muscles in Lena's jaw had flexed as she tried to hold herself together. Lena had met her eyes, depths filled with pain and betrayal before she quickly rose to her feet and rushed towards the door.

Kara had reached out, begged Lena to stay, to let her explain. She had apologised through the thick wave of tears that clouded her vision, her heart ripping at the seams as she felt Lena pull away from her, both physically and emotionally.

Lena had turned on her, face burning with heated anger and eyes filled with despair as her palm met Kara's cheek in a swift slap. And Kara had wished she could feel it, knew she deserved the sting that any human would have felt and maybe Lena had known that, because the last words she ever said to Kara had haunted the blonde ever since.

"You don't get to apologise and plead to my emotions when you've lied to my face every day for the last 3 years. Our whole friendship has been a lie, a manipulative game you put in place to keep an eye on the local Luthor. You know, I really thought that you were different and it turns out I was right, because you are so much worse than anyone else that's used me. At least Lex and my mother are upfront about their disdain for me, but you, you play games and you lie and you pretend to be someone you're not. You've knowingly played with my emotions, learned everything you can about me so you can twist everything to your own narrative. I can only imagine how entertaining it must have been for you and your friends to laugh about my ignorance, the stupid Luthor who couldn't see what was right in front of her. And you waited…you waited until I came to you and opened up the deepest parts of myself…you waited until I was so deeply entangled in my feelings for you, before you told me how foolish I'd been. Was this your plan all along? To make me feel things for you, that I've never felt before, just to rip the rug from underneath me and leave me broken? Well, congratulations. You succeeded. I never thought anyone could hate me or hurt me more than Lex has, but you've proven me wrong. I guess he and Lillian were right all along. This is goodbye Kara. I never want to see you again."

And Kara had stood rooted in her position, watching as Lena spun on her heel and left the apartment for the last time, door slamming closed behind her.

Months had passed. Kara had tried to see her, to talk to her, but she was turned away every time by Jess, or left staring at the cold wood of Lena's apartment door while she listened to the rapid heartbeat on the other side. Lead lined blinds were installed at Lena's office and home. Her texts went unanswered and her calls were automatically forwarded to voicemail. She couldn't reach Lena no matter how hard she tried. And then, she heard through the news that Lena had moved away, switched L-Corp's headquarters to a new city and sold CatCo to the first interested party.

Months turned into years and her attempts to make contact with Lena diminished to the occasional phone call. The calls were never answered, messages left every time in hopes that Lena would listen to them. She followed Lena's career through magazine articles, snippets of a life she used to be a part of. L-Corp's business was booming, a series of successful new products being launched one after another and Kara knew that they were most likely the result of Lena overworking herself. Not that she could judge. After everything had fallen apart Kara had taken on extra responsibility at CatCo, burying herself in work as a distraction from the constant ache in her chest. When she wasn't at CatCo she was patrolling as Supergirl, until the exhaustion in her body was too hard to fight and she would crawl under her covers, falling into a restless sleep.

Alex had tried to pull her out of it, tried to arrange game nights or nights at the bar, in hopes that Kara would gradually fall back into the life she'd had before she knew Lena. Had told Kara that things would get better, that they would heal with time. And Kara had seen the worry on her sisters face each time her attempts failed, knew that if she didn't at least pretend to get back to some form of normalcy, Alex would make herself sick trying to make things right. So she pretended. She worked herself to the bone with her two jobs and plastered on a smiling face to hang out with her friends and it had succeeded. Her friends were happy, Alex moved on with her life and found love and everyone failed to notice that Kara's smile wasn't as bright as it had been before, or that she still cried herself to sleep when the fatigue wasn't enough to knock her out cold.

But, still this day rolled around every year and for this one day she couldn't pretend, couldn't bluff her way through or cover the parts of herself that were still as broken as the day Lena left.

She walked slowly to her bedroom, removing her super suit in exchange for the worn, grey sweats that rested over the chair in the corner of the room. She opened the doors to her closet and rifled through the boxes near the back, stopping at the familiar worn cardboard she was seeking and pulling out the faded, blue MIT sweatshirt that was folded neatly inside. It was the last thing she had left of the brunette, left behind after a movie night that had turned into a sleepover and forgotten in the turmoil that had ensued a few weeks later. Kara had worn it every night for weeks when Lena first left, until the familiar scent of vanilla and jasmine and something so uniquely Lena had begun to fade, and she had carefully stuffed it away in the box at the back of her closet, too afraid to lose the only trace of her she had left. Now she only took it out on this date, every year, the only day she allowed herself to feel the full pain of what she had lost.

She grabbed her phone from the nightstand and saw the missed calls and texts from Alex, swiping to clear them from her screen. She wouldn't reply and Alex knew it. Not today. She couldn't. Tomorrow she would go back to pretending but, today she allowed everything to wash over her and she couldn't allow Alex or her friends to witness that.

Yesterday's Forbes magazine still lay on the coffee table, Lena's face staring back at her as she took a seat on her couch, pulling the red, woollen blanket that rested over the back, to drape across her shoulders. Lena had given an interview to discuss L-Corp making its latest billion dollars and what was in store for the company over the next year. Kara had soaked in every word, trying to imagine the lilts to Lena's voice as she read the article over and over. From the photoshoot pictures she still looked exactly the same, though Kara couldn't help but notice the usual light in her eyes had dimmed and held a sadness that Kara was all too familiar with from her own reflection in the mirror.

Her phone still rested heavily in her palm and she looked down at it, fiddling with the edges and flipping it over in restless agitation. She knew what would come next, it was the same every year. Lena's familiar number was still programmed into her speed dial and for the past 4 years, this day was the only time she ever allowed herself to use it. One call, every year and she knew that soon she would need to let that fade out too. It surprised her that Lena had kept the same number all this time, perhaps she was still holding on in some small way herself or maybe she was simply hoping that Kara would give up and leave her alone someday.

Her thumb hovered over Lena's contact information and she exhaled shakily before pressing down firmly on the screen, raising the phone to her ear and waiting for the dial tone to sound.

Two rings. That was all she ever got.

Two rings followed by a click and then she held her breath as she trained all of her attention on the pre-recorded message Lena had set for her voicemail.

'You've reached Lena Luthor, please leave your name and contact information and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.'

It was the exact same message she'd had back when Kara still knew her. Short and to the point, but years without contact had made Kara savour the 6 short seconds she got to hear Lena's voice again.

The beep sounded and Kara took a breath.

"Hello, it's me. It's Kara. I'm at home, in National City and I…well, I was just thinking about everything…about you…about what happened with us…I mean, I think about it all the time but, today…today's different, you know? I was trying to remember all of the good times we had before…but it's so hard…it all feels so far away now…I feel like a different person. Alex keeps telling me that everything will heal with time but, its been six years and…I-I-I don't feel like I've healed at all…and you just feel so far away, l-like there's a million miles between us…and I just…I never thought we would end up this way."

She could feel the warm tears on her cheeks, hear the raggedness of her breath and she took a couple of deep breaths to try to calm herself. She knew being this emotional wasn't fair to Lena. The other woman didn't deserve to have her mailbox filled with Kara's pity party. They were in this shitty situation because of Kara's mistake and she owed it to Lena to be less selfish about things now.

"I'm sorry, Lena. I know it's typical of me to just talk about myself and make this about how I'm feeling and I don't…I don't mean to. I really wish I could hear your voice, ask you how you are. I don't know where you are right now, but…I really do hope that you're happy, Lena. After everything…you deserve to be happy. I realise this is probably my thousandth call to you and…I understand that you still don't want to talk to me, I know that I messed up and I ruined everything…a-and that's why this will be my last attempt to contact you…I don't even know if you're going to listen to this…but, if you do…please know how sorry I am, for everything I did…how sorry I am…for breaking your heart. I know it doesn't change anything, but it will always be my biggest regret…because I felt the same way about you…and maybe if I had been honest sooner…maybe things would be different now. So, I'm sorry, Lena. I really do hope you have a wonderful life…and, know that I will always be here if you need me. Always. Goodbye, Lena."

Kara hung up the phone, dropping it haphazardly onto the couch cushion as the emotional toil of the day fully hit her all at once. She curled in on herself, wrapping her arms tightly around her knees as her whole body shook from the force of her sobbing. Thick tears cascaded down her face in a never-ending stream and she couldn't stop the series of small whimpers that left her throat. Everything hurt. 6 years had passed but everything still felt fresh and raw and she hated the thought that it might always feel this way.

How was she supposed to forgive herself?

How was she supposed to get over Lena?

Lena, who had walked into her life at a point where everything was uncertain, and said five small words that had given Kara the clarity she had needed.

'You could have fooled me.'

That was all it took. Five small words and Kara's life was changed. Lena had given her the courage and strength she'd needed to go after the career she was destined for, had looked at Kara and instinctively known the deepest parts of her. Lena had given her the feeling of finally coming home. And now it was all gone.

Kara lay huddled on the couch, crying, for what felt like hours but, as she looked towards the clock on the wall she realised it could only have been around 30 minutes. The second hand mocking her as it slowly made its rotation around the clock face. It was 11.30pm. There were only 30 more minutes left of this horrible day. 30 minutes left for Kara to wallow in her misery before she pushed it all back down and replaced everything with a cheap imitation of a smile. 30 minutes before she could text Alex back to let her know she was okay and crawl under the covers of her bed for a night filled with dreams of Lena.

She made her way to the kitchen, filling a glass with ice cold water in the hopes that it would help to remove the lump in her throat.

She heard shuffling in the hallway before two quiet knocks sounded on her door. Rolling her eyes, she made her way back to the couch ignoring the person outside. It would be Alex, coming to check on her and make sure she hadn't spiralled too far down her hole of depression. She still had 25 minutes left for her self pity and misery and there was no way she was letting Alex cut it short.

The knocks sounded again, a little louder this time but still seeming somewhat hesitant. Kara sighed, her sister always was stubborn.

"Go away Alex!" She shouted in the direction of the door, refraining from yelling as loud as she wanted to so as not to disturb her neighbours.

There was silence and she breathed a sigh of relief that her sister hadn't pushed it further or decided to use her spare key. She let her torso fall backwards, relaxing into the cushions, but was rudely interrupted by two further knocks on the door. She huffed loudly, allowing her anger at being disturbed to rise to the surface as she marched towards the door and ripped it open, yelling at her sister before she was even in front of her.

"What part of 'Go away Alex' did you not understand? I have 20 minutes left to wallow so can you just-…" She stopped mid-sentence, every angry retort dying on her tongue as she looked up and was met with a pair of viridian eyes that absolutely did not belong to her sister. The same beautiful green hue that she hadn't seen for 6 years. She was frozen, couldn't breathe, too afraid to break the silence and have all of this vanish like a dream. Her eyes were drawn towards a hesitant, timid smile on painted lips and she watched them move as something inside her clicked back into place.

"Hello, Kara." And with those two words, Lena had brought her home again.

Maybe this day wasn't so wretched after all.