My eyes seemed weary from a lack of sleep, or at least that's what they'd have me believe, those candy people. Their Princess is the one who keeps visiting me and preforming test on me, all I do is follow the doc's orders so I can go back to sleep. She doesn't let me outside, but she lets me access her library, so I can't really complain. But the social inactivity is bothering me some, and talking to the same three people doesn't help. I'm just going to sleep now...

"Good morning, Sir Ekko!"

I woke up with a quick jolt as the peppermint butler jabbed me in the side. The smell of some sweet soup filled the air. I took the food and set it on the table adjacent to my bed, grabbed a spoon and started eating.

"How are you feeling, Ekko." He asked.

"Like a rat in a cage, Pep. Did she consider my request?" I asked, staring into the soup.

Peppermint butler laughed, "That she did, in fact, I suspect that Princess Bubblegum will require your help today."

I smiled, "Is that what all those swordplay sessions were for?"

Pep nodded and snapped his fingers, two banana guards walked in, both carrying a silver case. Pep raised his hand and the guards laid the case on my bed. I got up after finishing my food and popped open the case, there were two swords and a white and red coat. One of the swords is curved with a black and red blade, it's hilt was circular with a metal dragon tied mouth to tail and had two smaller blades on the sides, the other is a simple straight sword, it's handle suited for one hand and no more, eagle wings made the cross guard and a eagles head on the pommel. The coat, like I said, white and red, with a series of buttons on the front, red lined the edges of the coat, and oversized cufflinks and collar. There was nothing to put over it, so I put on the coat first and tied the sword sheathes to my belt, swords still inside, of course.

"What's the problem?" I asked.

"There is a monster approaching from the west, and we barely have enough soldiers from the last attack. The princess needs your help." Pep said with a sense that he's expecting me to go along with it.

I smiled and nodded yes, anything to get away from this room. If you'd be in the situation that you start counting all of the cracks in your walls, then welcome to my world. Pep brought me to a room filled with maybe twenty banana guards and a marshmallow archer, with the princess herself standing in the middle of the room, at some type of stand, she had a projector running and playing a slideshow of the thing we'll be playing with for the next few hours. Some kind of mass made up of tentacles, mouths, and eyes, there was no consistency in its look, though I doubt this creature is of any 'natural' origin. Most likely summoned by magic or some form of science.

"...And the one to lead the front lines will be Ekko!" Bubblegum said.

My eyes were drawn to her, she pointed a baton at me, so I walked up to her side, she is a few inches taller than me(she's 6'2, I'm 5'11), she introduced me and begun to explain my purpose, to summarize, I'm a last resort weapon to be used in case of a soldier shortage, not the most rewarding job... buuuuuut whatever... I get to properly stretch my legs, what more could I ask for? Besides complete national dictatorship... this is getting weird.

"Quickly! M'lady!" One of the banana guards shouted from the door, he was sweating bullets like a fat pig on a hot summers day.

Party's just begun, and someone forgot to bring drinks. Bubblegum, for some reason, likes treating me like I am her son. For example, she straightens my collar and pats my cheeks like I'm a little child. Which, to some degree, I can't argue with it being false, but she didn't make me the old fashioned way, I was grown in a vat, but what materials were used are unknown to me. Either I'm made from scratch or made with an already existing concept, but it doesn't matter right now, we got monsters to kill. I drew my swords and briskly walked towards gate, I saw the creature destroying the environment as it writhed across the earth, so I waited until it came closer. It took a while, but it arrived, the walls crumbled when it touched them. Candy citizens were running to the back gate in orderly fashion, oddly enough. The orderly bit not the... okay.

I gripped my swords tightly and dashed towards the monster, swinging with my right to left arm in rapid succession, cutting off as many tentacles as possible. But they seemed to be regrowing fast, little nubs popping out as soon as I cut them. I'm starting to realize my fight would be better taken in the air than the ground, so I ran for one of the stairways that would take me to the less crumpled bit of wall.

"Sir Ekko, we set up a ballista for you, tell us when to fire!" A banana guard said as soon as he noticed my presence.

"Wait for a clear shot at the eyes... Now!" I shouted while keeping a hand on my curved sword.

A pointed lollipop at the end of a long rope candy fired from the ballista, a straight shot! I jumped on the rope and ran at the monster, lucky me that other ballista were keeping it still. I jumped when I was fifteen feet away, on one of it's slithering appendages, I stabbed it with my straight sword and threw my curved sword at one of its opened eyes, the beast roared loadly in pain. This put a determined grin on my face, I was close to victory. I jumped with the other sword and spun in a cyclone motion, cutting through its eye and taking my curved sword in my right hand, I burrowed through its organs and popped out the other side, closer to the ground. I am victorious, and while the princess was still tending to the wounded soldiers, I thought nobody would mind if I slipped out for a while...

Bad idea.