Hopefully I'll come up with a better title 'cause this one really sucks. ANYWAY I've never written Cade before...so hopefully Jade isn't OOC in anyway Dx
I'm trying to remember the last time I felt this real, this alive. Her fingers intwined with mine. It's so goddamn cliché, but for once I don't mind.
I know it's sick and I know it's wrong, but I just don't care anymore. I'm too busy living.
Dark memories crowd my head and I'm almost afraid of retribution. I know I'm going to regret this later.
But I'm lost; lost in her bright red hair, her pale skin, her everything. I'm lost, and Cat would call it love, only I can't say I believe in it.
And suddenly his face flashes into my head.
There was a guy, someone I had before Cat. Someone I have now. Someone I'll have long after she's gone. But it's not so much I have him so much as he has me.
I want to give him up, but what can I do? He won't let me go.
"Jade..."
I gasp. Cat gives me a worried look; I ignore her.
"Why'd ya do this to me, Jade?"
"What's wrong, Jadie-baby?" Cat asks.
I want to say it's his voice in my head. I also want to roll my eyes at that nickname, but it's adorable when Cat says it.
I shake my head and say, "It's nothing."
She hesitates and pouts a bit. "Okay..."
Shuddering breath, a nervous chuckle. "I-I don't know what you're talking about..."
Such pretty, pretty eyes glaring at me. "Don't lie to me, babe, you know exactly what I mean.
I have to resist the urge to cry. I can't let Cat see me cry. Not now, not yet.
Haunted. Haunted. Haunted. That's all I am now.
"C'mon, baby, it'll be okay. Don't cry."
But it's too late, I'm already sobbing into my hands.
The memories are rattling against my consciousness, trying to shake me from the present. Chase away my happiness.
I push them away. I won't let them control me this time.
Take me away Cat. Take me the fuck away.
What I'm doing with her right now, I almost want to call it making love. But it's not so much love as it is distraction.
And it's just too bad I don't believe in love, not anymore.