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I am new to the Grey's Anatomy world, and I was in the mood to right something for it so I did.
Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy in anyway shape or form.
Ok so one with chapter one...Probably Wouldn't Be This Way
Chapter 1
Nobody notices me.
I walk into the chapel and sit in the back row in the shadows.
Nobody will have to know I'm here. Especially his wife.
Mark may notice, only because he is my half brother-in-law, but usual does notice these things, the things were I come, when nobody expects or probably wants me to.
But after 20 years, they may not recognise me enough to know that I'm here.
20 years ago, I wouldn't have been this shy.
20 years ago, I wouldn't have dreamed of having a 20-year-old daughter.
20 years ago, I was the Dirty 'Ex' – Mistress.
20 years ago…was along time ago.
I tried to move on, people kept telling me to move on, but it was so hard. With Dee looking more and more like her father everyday.
I ran, I probably shouldn't have, but I did, it was easier, I didn't have to face anything; until 6 weeks later when I found out I was pregnant.
Now, I'm back in Seattle for the funeral of the only man I have and would, ever loved:
-The father of my child.
-The man I only saw in my dreams.
-The man I never thought I'd see again, I was right.
-The man who didn't pick me, choose me or love me.
The man I have missed ever since he choose her, ok so she was his wife, but she had:
-My McDreamy
-My McDog
-My McLife
But the one thing she didn't have, and would never have, was my McBaby, Delenda Grace Shepherd or Grey, depending where we were or who you were.
I always planned to tell him, now its to late, to late to tell and to late to hide.
The funeral was simple, but elegant, Addison said that's what Derek would have wanted.
Sitting at the cemetery, with Dee beside me, it makes me realise how much I've missed, of the people who I used to call my family, lives.
Cristina and Preston will be married 20 years in a couple of months and they have 3 children, Bailey Chantal and Miranda Lucille Burke who are twins and Richard Derek Burke.
Izzie and Alex will be married 15 years next month and have 5 kids, Ava Marie, Alexandra Grace, Mitchell George, Michael Isaiah and Karlene Isobel Karev.
George and Callie have been married for 20 years with one daughter, Georgia Calliope O'Malley.
Mark married my half sister Lexie, they will be married 13 years next fall, and they have 2 daughters, Marqelle Susan Grey-Sloan and Leigh Merie Grey-Sloan.
Addison and Derek will have been married 32 years next summer, they worked out there problems, they had a good life, they had a dramatic life, and they had a life that they knew how to live.
Richard and Adele, they would be married for 45 years, but Richard had a heart attack 2 years ago, that was the last time I was down here.
Me, I had a life with my daughter, she grew up with more love than a child could imagine, and she is and always will be the apple of my eye.
As they lower him into the ground, I hold back my tears no longer. This is it, this is final, and this could be and would be my closure.
People are now getting up, this is my signal to leave, but something is holding me back, the fact that I never got to say goodbye, its to late for that now, his gone, forever.
Mark gets out of his seat and turns around and locks eyes with me he nods his head signalling it is my time to come out of hiding, my time to face everyone, my time for me to introduce my daughter, my time to say goodbye.
As I walk to the front of the crowd, I realise that I am also coming to my end, this will be the last time I see my 'family', I know it, I have a feeling. This is my goodbye.
Mark learns over into the group of people, Cristina, Preston, Izzie, Alex, Lexie, Adele and Addison, they all turn around and look at me, the shock on their faces is evident.
"I don't know what to say to them Dee, it's been 20 years" I lean backwards towards my daughter.
"Say what's in your heart, ma, that's all you can do" Dee was wise beyond her years, probably why she was in college studying to get a degree in social studies and human health and development.
Mark is the one that comes up to me, and envelops me into a hug.
"I don't know what to do Mark" I sob into his chest.
"Mere, you can't break done, you and I both know this is your last chance at this, you and I both know, that your cancer is that far advanced that it's a miracle you're still with us. You need to do this for closure if nothing else" Mark looks down at me; Mark is the brother I never had.
I gather the strength I need to go and face them…
" I know you probably don't won't me here, and I also know I probably shouldn't be here, but I needed this for closure, closure on Derek and closure on me.
This girl behind me, this is my daughter, Delenda Grace Grey, but if you want to get legal Delenda Grace Shepherd. She was born 20 years ago, 44 weeks after 'prom', the only reason I remember that was because she was 2 weeks overdue.
I know I never told any of you other than Lexie and Mark about her, but I wanted to, believe me I did, but it was to hard, and after I found out that Addison and Derek were happy, I didn't want to come back into the picture and destroy that.
So for the past 20 years I have raised her by myself, I hope I did a good job, but I know for a fact that if Dee had of had a father figure anything like Derek in her life it would have been so much better.
After I had Dee I continued my fellowship in New York, at Mt. Sinai. I chose a Neurosurgical Residency, and I am now Head of Neurosurgery, but not for much longer.
You see about 6 months ago I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, and I had surgery to remove it but it was stage 4, they couldn't do anything about it, 2 weeks ago we found out that it has spread to my brain, so it is a miracle that I am still here.
I'm glad I am still here though, because I needed to tell you all in person, I needed to say goodbye, I don't care if you can never forgive me for what I did, but as long as I know I have told you, I can live the rest of me life in serenity, and die in a peaceful state of mind.
One last thing, if I had never met Derek, I would never have had the life I had, and I will never regret anything in my life, if it wasn't for Derek, I probably wouldn't be this way, I probably wouldn't be so happy and content with my life."
The shock on Cristina, Preston, Izzie, Alex, Adele and Addison's face is something that will stay with me for the remainder of my days.
I never would have expected Addison to be the first one to reply either...
OK, So I know it was cruel to leave it there, but I need to know what your all thinking.
I have Addison's reply speach typed up, I just need your support!
Please review for this first time GA's author!