-1Disclaimer: I do not own the anime or any of the characters. Except for Takako Sendo.

Title: Dirty Me Up

Description: Basically, Hikaru and Kaoru are on vacation for the summer, since all the other Hosts are on their own little vacation. They decide to stay at one of their family's summer houses, but when a newly hired maid begins to develop a liking for Kaoru, Hikaru will go great lengths to stop anyone from taking his beloved little brother away from him…HIKARUxKAORU, SEX, GAY SEX, MILD VIOLENCE, BAD LANGUAGE, M-RATED!!! XD

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Kaoru yawned widely, having only slept a few hours the last night. Seeing this, Hikaru pulled down his brother's head, coming to a rest in his lap.

"H-Hikaru--! What are you doing?" Kaoru, surprised at the sudden action, flailed his arms in the air.

"What are you worried about?" Hikaru said in monotone, "We're supposed to do this." A small smirk came to his face as he bent down and stared into the face of his twin, coming a mere three inches away.

"We're not in the Host Club anymore. Can't we take a break from it?" Kaoru whined, looking away from his brother. Sighing deeply, Hikaru let go of him, and sat back into the door of the car.

Having nothing to do since Haruhi was vacationing with her father; Tamaki was visiting his mother; Kyouya was locked up at home; and Hunny-senpai and Mori-senpai were taking breaks at the Haninozuka family's private hot springs, the Twins decided to stay at one of the family's vacationing spots. They were driving to the airport so they could board one of the Hitachiin family's helicopters and head off to the summer house awaiting them at the coast.

"Nyaaa" Kaoru stretched his arms out above him as they finally arrived at their destination.

"Still tired?" Hikaru asked, wrapping his arms around his brother's chest from behind.

"Aa--! Nii-sama…must you do this?" Kaoru asked wearily, tugging at his arms, "Let me go so I can pick a room for us."

Hesitantly, the older brother released his outoto-chan and watched him trod off into the house. The lingering scent of Kaoru slowly drifted away from him as he turned around to find that their driver had driven off and left all of their luggage on the driveway. "Son of a…" he muttered as he went to go haul the bags inside himself.

"Hngg…" Hikaru dropped the last piece of luggage onto the porch. "Damn…" he panted and he bent down and put his hands on his knees for support, "I'm…really out of shape." He chuckled to himself.

"What's wrong with you?" Kaoru asked, coming to a halt at the door, seeing as he was blocked by all the luggage. "Did you carry all of these up by yourself? Geez…here." he said, holding out a cup of iced tea to his brother.

"Thanks." grunted Hikaru as he stepped forward, reaching for the glass. He suddenly felt something trap his foot, making gravity pull him towards the ground. He tripped over the corner of a bag, sending him flying towards his younger brother. "Aa--!!" His body toppled over that of his outoto-chan's, and sent the glasses of iced tea crashing down onto the wooden porch. "Nngg…" He opened his eyes to find that he was an inch away from Kaoru's face. He blushed madly as he realized that his leg was pressing up against his outoto-chan's p-p-pe…

As much as he wanted to get up and apologize quickly, he remained where he was, trapping his twin on the ground.

"Aa…Hikaru…!" Kaoru mustered to say from underneath his Nii-chan. A feeling crept up his spine as his woozy-ness left him, and the positions he and his twin were in finally registered in his mind. Kaoru shifted his legs, hoping to move his brother's legs away, but only made them slide along his body even more, sending a small shiver throughout his body. His cheeks reddened and he turned his head, as to not let Hikaru see. "H-Hikaru…" he turned to face his mirror image, to find that he was starring down at him with something unknown in his eyes…Something Kaoru had never seen from Hikaru…Something like lust-- No. He felt mortified having a thought like that. "Nii-chan…C-Can you get off…?" He asked, pushing against Hikaru's chest, making an effort to not look in his eyes. He waited a whole 3 seconds before realizing his brother hadn't moved at all. "H-Hikaru……?"

Without realizing what he was doing, Hikaru began to slowly move his face closer to his twin's. His lips were barely grazing the surface of Kaoru's now…

"Oh my," A female voice came from the right side of them. Startled, Kaoru pushed his Nii-chan away from him. Both of them turned their heads to face an unfamiliar female standing in the hallway. "Oh--Excuse me. I'm Takako Sendo. I-I'm the new maid here. S-Sorry to interrupt, but you have a phone call." She said, bowing and pointing to the large gathering room behind her.

A nervous laugh escape Kaoru's mouth as he hastily got up and walked swiftly into the adjacent room.

"So…" Hikaru said, sitting up on his haunches, "You're the new girl they hired." They threw her a bit of a glare.

"Yes. I am." she replied bluntly, every trace of apologizing for the intrusion gone from her face, "I clearly remember stating that."

"You'd better have some manners for the people that employed you." Hikari spat at her, feeling a great dislike for her now.

"I recall it wasn't you that employed me." Takako said, starring down at him with repulsion.

"I can just as easily have you fired!" Hikaru shot at her, standing up now. For a second, it seemed as if she were going to shout back, but to Hikaru's satisfaction, she kept her mouth shut and stomped over to the kitchen. "Tch…" He muttered, walking into the hallway, "What a bitch…".

Walking down the hallway, he realized he didn't know which ones of the many doors led to bedrooms, bathrooms, closets, or other gathering rooms.

"Kaoru…?" Hikaru called into the empty corridor, "Kaoru, where'd you go?" He opened all the doors that aligned both sides of the hallway, searching for his twin. Did he get lost? No…he has a hell of a better sense of direction than I do…Where did he go?! Having opened every door and checking in them, he was frustrated to find that Kaoru wasn't in any of them. "Kaoru!" He was shouting now, "Kaoru! Where are you?!" Deciding to turn back, he walked swiftly through the hallway, deciding to check upstairs. Once out of the corridor, he looked to his right, at the kitchen, and to his left, at the sliding door leading to the balcony that overlooked the clear blue sea. For a whole minute, Kaoru stood there, not wanting to go to his last resort. Damn! He walked swiftly into the kitchen, startling Takako, who'd been preparing their dinner.

"Yes?" she asked, annoyed, gripping the knife she'd been holding much tighter now.

"I--Kaoru--I don't--" Hikaru sighed and took a breath, "Where'd Kaoru go?" he asked her, looking away.

"Your own summer house and you can't even find the main family room." she smirked, apparently amused that he had to come to her for help.

"Shut up. I just…I'm not as familiar with the place as Kaoru or you, okay?" Hikaru turned his head.

"Bedroom." She replied, turning back to preparing the dinner, as if he weren't important enough for her full attention.

"Bed--Where?" Hikaru asked, now burning holes into the back of her head.

"Sixth door on the right. Go through the door in that room. Third door on the left, after you turn the corner." she replied shortly.

"Th--…Okay." Hikaru left the kitchen without another word.

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How's my first chapter? PLEASE REVIEW! I know it's not so good yet, but it'll get better soon! I promise! If it doesn't, you can tie me to railroad tracks and send me to my fate! . Heh..I'd better get creative. XD;;