TITLE : Survived Through Love
AUTHOR : Lara_SGC aka Lara
E-MAIL ADRESS : Lara_
RATING : PG-13
DISCLAIMER : Stargate SG-1 and the characters belong to MGM, Gekko Corp, and Secret Productions. I don't own them, I only own my brain who created this story. I created this story for my pleasure and the pleasure of others.
SUMMARY : After being separated from his team, Jack has to survive in a world of torture and pain with only one memory; a blond angel.
DATE : 20-05-2002
AUTHORS NOTES:****God bless my beta-reader Katie who has been my beta for exactly two years! I should be considering about getting her an altar ;) Thank you honey!**** The song's 'You're Not Alone' by ATB.
~Part 1~
Six months. It had been six atrocious months since he had seen a glimpse of daylight…his friends. In that long time of fighting and torture, he hadn't given up hope nor the strenght he had in him to survive this horrible time.
Once a happy, sarcastic, but fearsome Air Force Colonel, he lay now curled up in pain and misery on the hard, cold stone floor of his dirty cell. Jack wanted to open his eyes but it hurt...everything in his body was hurting, but most of all his heart. No pain could compare to that pounding part of life...of love.
His thoughts were interrupted by a sound, he recognized as the opening of his cell door. It was always the same...day after day. First the creaking sound of the door being pushed open, than the faint feel of a soft but cold breeze that made goose bumps rise all over his body. Someone would enter whacking the door shut and would walk up to him.
When he first came here, he had seen it done to other prisoners and he had been taken aback by what he had seen happening in front of his eyes. He had seen, and been in, situations of imprisonment and torture but because of his own traumatic experiences made seeing anything like this so unbearable. While watching the scene he felt his own anger boiling up and he had used his military mind and literally kicked in; putting up a fight on the prisoners' behalf.
A horrible mistake.
The next day he learned to bottle up his anger, take a deep breath, turn around and walk away. For the next couple of weeks, he had been thrown in a more private cell which held thirty people.
Jack had seen many horrible things when he was in the military...he had seen many dead bodies and too much misery. But nothing that he had seen could prepare for what was unfolding before his eyes like a bad nightmare.
He could faintly remember the first day he had been there....
Jack groaned when the guards almost threw him in his new living quarters.
"Welcome to your worst nightmare."
He turned to the guard who had spoken, and grinned. "I've had worse."
But when they closed the door and he had walked further in the cell, he had regretted his words. The faint smell of sulphur mixed with the stenge of blood made his stomach turn in disgust and he wrinkled his nose, covered it with his hand in a way of warding off the smell. When noticing a fight going on amidst the now flocking crowd, he came closer but stayed behind not wanting to become the center of attention. But when doing so he had apparently stumbled over, what appeared to be, a boiler with red fluid and got the attention of the crowd whom were staring furiously at him.
One of the fighters came walking up to him. He was big with a capital B. Jack thought that the guy would leave holes in the concrete floor.
Jack backed away until his back hit the wall which was suprisingly soft...and wet. He glanced next to him and sharply inhaled while jumping away from the wall. Now giving a closer look at the walls he could see that it was covered with entrails of the human body. Actually the softness where he had bumped into earlier was a human lung.
Jack's face paled as he turned around to see the bloke towering above him.
"You think you can disturb our fight, stranger?!"
Jack raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Hey, at least I don't leave boilers on the ground waiting for someone to fall over them."
WHACK
Jack reached up a hand to touch his now bleeding cheek and could feel the deep gash. Jack didn't know why but that act enraged him so much that he grabbed the man's throat and tried to suffocate him.
"Leave him or die."
Jack turned his head to search the man who just threatened him.
It was a scrawny man in his late sixties who walked up to him and placed a wrinkled hand on his arm.
"Please, for your own safety."
Jack gazed at the old man. He could almost feel his power and wisdom. At some level it even scared him. The old man squeezed his arm and gave a nudge. After clearing his thoughts, Jack loosened his grip and backed away from the big guy who shot him an eat-shit-and-die-look.
"Showtime's over people...shoo shoo."
The crowd moved to the far end of the cell and to Jack's surprise continued watching yet another new fight like nothing had happened. He turned to look at the old man.
"Are you the leader?"
The puny old man laughed. "When one is smarter than rest does it make him leader?"
Jack frowned at the funny looking guy who walked away but turned back before disappearing into the crowd.
"You ought to know, stranger, that in this place not always the strongest survive."
Jack tried to understand the warning...or advice he just had received but figured it wasn't for him to understand. He sank to the cold floor and rubbed the bridge of his nose feeling a headache throbbing in his ears. He sighed deeply and tried to make sense of this place.
He shuddered when a small, unknown to him, creature crouched over the floor. When he observed the creature he found it had a striking resemblence of an earthly sow-bug but ten times bigger. The creature made a sudden stop at the boiler he had stumbled over earlier and, what Jack thought, drank from the liquid that was now spilled on the floor.
He looked up and saw more of those boilers on the floor or in the hands of the prisoners.
Jack figured that it was something the guards gave to the prisoners. His curiosity risen, he crawled over to the boiler and sat next to it. The creature scrammed and fled to a small hole in the wall. Turning his attention back to the liquid, he scooped up some with his finger and brought it to his nose.
Oh God.
His eyes widened and he tried to remove the liquid from his finger like a madman. He inhaled sharply and felt the urge to throw up when he gazed at the crowd drinking the liquid.
Blood.
Jack couldn't remember more after that. All he knew was that he had heard someone talk about a contagion that had spread around. From what he could understand it had something to do with a sepsis. That's all he could remember...nothing more.
Jack heard footsteps nearing him and he let his thoughts stray knowing what would happen now.
WHACK
"Ah!" Jack screamed at the powerful slap of the leather whip that made his body jerk in pain. A trelebdous pain that he had had to endure for weeks now. Too tired to fight back, he just lay there; helpless. No one could help him...he couldn't even help himself. The pain was making him hallucinate so that he couldn't determine what was real and what wasn't.
WHACK
He could feel the whip dig into his skin, leaving yet another deep flesh wound that hurt as bad as the other slaps.
WHACK
He didn't care anymore. The question of why had disappeared along with his will to fight, a long time ago. He couldn't tell how long he had been here...how long it had been since he was separated from his team.
He sighed when his punisher walked away from him and out of his cold cell. He tried to place a hand on the floor so he could turn around but he couldn't, his arm felt like hundred kilos and his second try wasn't good either as his eyes watered with tears of anger. He hated himself for being so helpless...for being so cowardly.
His body quivered.
What seemed like an eternity back, Jack and his team had arrived on a planet. The name he had long forgotten just like a lot of memories from his past. They had somehow knocked it out of him and as much as he tried his best he couldn't recall them. A few memories had been wavering through his mind. Everytime the whip had slashed into his flesh, every hit against his head, every broken bone...every time he fell asleep. The only memory he had of a blond angel who had guided him through his life...she had been there for him. Every time he needed her she came into his mind.
He blinked his tears away not letting them roll down his cheeks. He couldn't cry...he would not cry for his misery. For every broken bone he didn't cry. Not even a single tear would grace his handsome face. Only the red streams where knives had touched him and created misery...but he would not allow himself to cry. He was stronger than that....
~Part 2~
A few weeks later.
Angrily, Jack gritted his teeth as he felt a tearing pain and he started shaking. The floor felt cold against his bare skin, his half nakedness making him more vulnerable than he already was.
He knew they did it as a way of torture; weakening him. But they didn't know that wasn't what would kill him. It wasn't the hitting, breaking his bones or hitting him with a leather whip that could weaken him. No. The only thing that weakened him was the emptiness in his heart.... The place where his angel once lived.
She wasn't there anymore and the longer he was alone, the more that place was forgotten.
His pain was overpowering his hope. He wasn't a man that would give up easily but he felt that his end was near. His body was full of pain...and so was his mind. He was lingering between life and death and he knew it, felt it.
Why should he stay here? What was the goal of doing that?
He had so many questions and so little answers. He wanted his angel with him to tell him to live further. To guide him again like she always did but he didn't feel her anymore...he couldn't feel her presence next to him and it killed him more than anything he had to endure in those periods of torture.
An eternity of being lost in your own little world.
In the cell next to him, he could hear someone fight for his life. The screaming of the man had once been his pull to reality. But that had faded too. He could hear the man running up against the wall, probably hitting his head hard...time after time.
Jack felt the man's pain and knew that he would end just like his friend next to him. Without warning he could hear the dumb thud of a body falling lifeless on the ground. Slowly and with all the might in his body he slightly opened his eyes and saw pure, red blood flowing in his cell from underneath the wall.
The blood left a trail of red fluid behind; a trail of pure misery and ended at Jack's left arm. He could almost taste the stench of it, and he wondered if that was the way to flee life?
He inhaled sharply as he felt a pain in his left shoulder and without thinking he knew that it was his heart. Death was creeping up to him, leaving him with no fight.
His hand clutched his chest as the pains became unbearable and his breathing quickened....
This was his end of the journey....
'G...g....good...bye...a...angel,' Jack closed his eyes, waiting for his end as fear engulfed him.
With all his might, Jack opened his eyes for the last time and he took a sharp intake of breath. There, before him stood his angel surrounded by a white sheen...his mind screamed for her name... but he couldn't remember.
From all the pain in his body he took the strength, the power to raise his hand and to reach out to her...trying to touch her...to touch life.
It became difficult to breath for him as his heart started to beat slower and slower not caring if he wanted to live or not.
His arm hit the ground as it became too heavy. His hand was shaking, just like his entire body. With all his might, he kept his eyes open, instead of concentrating on his breathing. He didn't care, his angel was with him and the only thing he wanted was to have her as his last knowledge of his life before he would die.
His eyes widened as he saw his angel step forward to him. And as he looked closely he could see her beautiful mouth move. He tried his hardest to listen to her and he entered a trance where he could only focus on her. He knew he was burning the candle at both ends and knew that his focusing would lead to his death.
But it wasn't his angel anymore...it was a young man. A sudden long forgotten memory of him talking with this young man came into his mind. He couldn't remember a name, but the figure standing in front of him was a friend...of a very good friend. The young man with glasses walked to him until he stood a meter away.
Jack looked up at his friend.
"In a way, it's all a matter of time. I will not worry for you, you'll be just fine. Take my thoughts with you, and when you look behind.... You will surely see a face that you recognize."
Behind his friend, he could recognize blond hair...his angel. He blinked to have a clearer vision on her but when he opened his eyes again his friends were gone.
Jack screamed; for his life and for the pain he felt. Suddenly when he thought he had lost his fight with life, his strength to fight again had reappeared before him. He tried but he couldn't touch her. He turned his head a little so he could see her better. She was singing something to him.
"You're not alone, I'll wait till the end of time. Open your mind, Surely it's plain to see;
You're not alone. I'll wait till the end of time for you. Open your mind, Surely there's time to be with me."
He gritted his teeth as he felt the pain in him become unbearable and he knew he couldn't keep on fighting. Soon he would have to give up. But the words of the woman in front of him kept him fighting. For everything that was life...love. He became hypnotized by the two blue diamonds of her eyes; the portals to her soul and love.
"It is the distance, that makes life a little hard. Two minds that once were close, Now so many miles apart. I will not falter though, I'll hold on till you're home. Safely back where you belong, And see how our love has grown."
He screamed...a desperate scream as everything went black before his eyes.
"You're not alone. I'll wait till the end of time for you. Open your mind, surely there's time to be with me...and see how our love has grown."
Small white and black dots danced in front of his eyes and when he thought he had lost his fight, the pain went away.
No pain.
Jack took a deep intake of breath and he swore he could taste life. He inhaled through his nose and he frowned; the smell of jasmine tickled his senses.
Like a touch of an angel, he felt a small warm hand on his badly hurt cheek. Whoever did it caused him to feel more pain...he wanted no more pain and he groaned. "Hurts."
He heard someone cry and people walking around in his cell.
Chaos.
So many voices. Through the cacophony of sound, one voice came clearly to his ears.
"Jack...oh my god."
He could feel the weight of someone's head on his chest and again the smell of Jasmine.
He heard a lot of people talking but he couldn't recognize the voices.
"He's badly hurt...take a look a this."
"Jesus, who could do this?"
"In one way I guess he was lucky he's still alive."
"I suppose."
"Ma'am."
"Leave her alone, airman."
"Okay, people. Time to leave, check the other cells and try to find survivors."
"What about Jack?"
"Give him and the Major some time, son."
Jack sighed as the cacophony went away. He could hear the distinct tapping of feet on the floor until they faded away. The only thing that remained was the sound of someone crying softly.
He blinked a few times and opened his eyes to look at the person watering his chest. He groaned at the sudden light that hurt his eyes.
The person on his chest looked up at him and smiled through her tears, hugging him to her. "Oh, Jack."
A smile covered his handsome face.
The blond woman pushed herself off of him and sat straight up, searching his face.
"Do you know who I am?"
Jack gazed at her, his heart pounding faster and faster. He opened his arms to her.
He smiled, remembering.
"Sam."
He saw her cry harder.
She wanted to hug him but she was terrified she was going to hurt him but she couldn't stand the feel of her heart breaking at the sight in front of her; the man she always wanted to love her, holding open his arms to her. She croushed a bit forward until her knees were touching his bare ones. She carefully, with shaking hands of emotion, wrapped her arms around his bruised chest.
Jack pulled her against him, his bruised ribs objecting. He could feel the wetness of her tears trailing down his body and making small puddles next to his back.
"Sam."
She looked up at him and nodded her head, her blue eyes wide.
"Sam."
Tracing his mouth, she pulled herself off of him like she was scared that she was hurting him.
"Yes, Jack?"
"Sam," he reached out and touched her mouth.
He cried.
He wouldn't cry for all the pain he received, he didn't cry when they had hit him, tortured him or slapped him. But now he did. He cried for her...because of her. Because his angel had returned to guide him, to help him....
To love him.
He felt happy...but tired. He wanted to stay awake to be with her but his pain and fatigue won the fight and he drifted into slumber. He didn't know whether he said the words out loud or in his sleep but all he knew was that he meant them with all his heart, soul and love.
"I...love...you...Sam."
~Part 3~
Jack became conscious again as he tried to open his eyes. He waited a few more moments and tried again and this time he succeeded. He was greeted by two blue eyes and he gazed into them, losing his hold on reality.
"He's awake!" Sam yelled as she turned her head to look at the person walking to his bed. He frowned and then smiled. "Janet."
Janet Frasier smiled and nodded. "That's right, Colonel. I'm glad you didn't lose your memory because of...." She stopped and Jack saw her look at Sam who closed her eyes fighting against her tears.
Jack didn't want to see Sam cry. He reached out and tentatively took her hand in his. He frowned as she tried to remove her hand, like she was scared. He saw the answer to his unasked question as he saw General Hammond standing behind Sam, looking at their hands.
Jack made an attempt of rolling his eyes and tightened his grip on her hand. He looked at her face and smiled to her.
"Jack do you have any idea of what you've been through?" Janet asked with concern audible in her voice.
Jack nodded his head. "Yes, lot's of pain and-" He coughed badly.
He thankfully sipped at the glass that Sam held against his lips, lovingly pouring water in his mouth.
"-and torture. Where were you?" He asked the last question clearly at Sam, ignoring the others.
He saw her close her eyes and he softly squeezed her hand.
"We were looking for you...as long as I can remember."
General Hammond stepped next to him. "Yes...we thought we lost you. We've been searching for you on every damn planet that could be possible...we didn't know they had transported you to another planet from the one we had a mission. But it doesn't matter now. You're back with us. Actually you should thank Major Carter, she was the one who found you." He nodded his head in the direction of Sam and without a word walked out of the room.
He watched the General leave and turned to look at Sam again. "I knew you would."
She frowned but then smiled, understanding him. "I was scared that I would find you dead. And when I walked into your cell and saw you laying on that cold floor like...I thought for an instant that you were...gone."
Janet squeezed Sam's shoulder and looked at Jack. "You're extremely lucky though."
Jack snorted. "Lucky?"
Janet looked at her clipboard. "Two broken ribs, five bruised. Several internal bleedings and a broken ankle. Except for that and several flesh wounds you were extremely lucky, especially when you see that you survived a cardiac arrest...and don't mind me saying, that could have been deadly at your age but well you know what they say; 'Ill weeds grow apace'."
Jack shot Janet one of his looks, turned his head to Sam totally ignoring Janet and without shame said, " It was you who kept me alive all that time."
He looked at her and saw her eyes water. Sam looked down at their entwined hands and blinked her tears away.
Jack saw Janet leave the room and he could hear the lock of his door.
He reached up to touch her mouth. "Sam."
Sam's breathing was shaky as she closed her eyes at the lovingness in his touch.
Jack sighed happily. "You know there was a time that I had forgotten your name."
Sam opened her eyes and looked at Jack, blinking more tears away. "There was a time I had forgotten the meaning of love." Tears now streamed over her face and sobs shook her body uncontrollably.
Jack shifted and rolled himself to the far end of the hospital bed making room for Sam. He squeezed her hand to get her attention while softly pulling her onto the bed. He knew he would receive some resistance. "Sam, don't be afraid."
He could see the doubt on her face and he saw her look at the door.
"I need you to heal my pain."
That did the trick. Her head snapped back at him and without hesitation, she pulled herself onto the bed and placed herself next to him.
Jack oh so gently touched her cheek knowing she wasn't feeling comfortable lying in bed with her commanding officer. It wasn't like they had never slept next to each other. On missions he had sometimes curled up against her to give her warmth... but this was different.
Jack removed his hand, let it linger for a while and placed himself on his back closing his eyes, leaving the decision to her.
He knew with eyes closed that she was looking at him and he could almost hear her think. He knew that she would risk a lot by doing this. Being Mr. Negative he was afraid that Sam would decide to leave him, not wanting to risk her job over him. When he thought she had fallen asleep, he felt movement next to him. The blanket was being lifted and he felt warm fabric against his bare skin.
Sam had pressed herself against him, making sure she wasn't hurting him, and had laid her head on his shoulder.
He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss tenderly to her forehead as she kissed one of the scars on his chest.
Healing him with her love.
They both fell asleep under the watchful eye of Janet who smiled at the word she saw Jack form on his lips before he closed his eyes.
Angel.
The End. Thank you for reading!!!